By Tatsuya Ishida
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January 8, 2001
Thus spake Zarathustra
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Resolutions for 2001:
· Finish my memoirs, TI: The Man, The Myth, The Mojo
· Wrestle an alligator.
· Get in touch with the Jedi within.
· Use my powers for good.
· Kick ass.
· Rock.
· Continue to enchant and delight the ladies
with my awesome pimp powers.
· Work on that humility thing.
· Let the dogs out again.
· Remember that wherever you go, shit happens.
· Give props where props is due.
· Say it like it is and go with the flow.
All right. Let's do this thing.

January 1, 2001
It's only rock 'n' roll but I like it
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And never brought to mind?
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
And days of auld lang syne?
We have run about the hood
And watched the cars go by;
We've wander'd in our worn out Pumas,
Since days of auld lang syne.
We have walked 'neath sneakers flung
High on telephone lines,
We've stomped around our stomping grounds
Since days of auld lang syne.
So here's a hand, my dear friend,
And give a hand o' thine;
We'll take a dime bag o' kindness yet,
For days of auld lang syne.

August 20, 2000
Wax on, wax off
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Politics 2000 is revving up, so I thought a commentary might be in order, this being a political column and all. Hell, let's unveil the Sinfest manifesto. To wit: We are radically pro-this, moderately anti-that, and definitely, emphatically pro-those. We believe music can change the world and art can heal your soul. We believe in the Tao of Pooh and the Word of Allah, as we follow the Noble Eight-Fold Path to Vatican City where we'll have a Kosher meal at a Japanese Tea Ceremony, then go joyriding in the Popemobile with a bunch of gypsies who believe in the Force. We'll catch a matinee of the Holy Trilogy and rest after the seventh hour. And when it is done we will say, "It is good."

August 13, 2000
Float like a butterly, sting like a bee
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Fame is something which must be won; honor is something which must not be lost.-Schopenhauer
Backlash is a rite of passage, a trial by fire to test one's media mettle. An up-and-comer must suffer through scathing reviews, mudslinging rants, and endless derision. The backbiting from colleagues can be especially demoralizing, but chances are, no worse than the youthful shit I've done (and no doubt yet to do). Such is the way of a Jedi pimp, sworn to protect a world that fears and hates him. He knows the path is not always strewn with rose petals and well-wishers, but sometimes gets blocked by trolls and naysayers. So be it! Nobody said it was gonna be easy, so onward ho! Advance on the chaos and the dark!

August 6, 2000
Strange things are afoot at the Circle K
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

The Sinfest Store is up. Regrettably, there are no puppets, weapons, or inflatable dolls. For some inexplicable reason Cafe Press does not offer any of these items. But we're confident they'll come to their senses sooner or later and expand their catalogue to accommodate our modern needs. Yes, I can see it now... Sinfest bongs! Monique edible pajamas! Pimp Ninja samurai swords! Junkie Ranger action figure with pump-action syringe! Whoa Nellie! Talk about leaving the world better than you found it!

July 30, 2000
We have the technology
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Web comics is grass-roots, word-of-mouth, guerrilla-style 'tooning, where audience participation is key. Fans support sites by clicking ads, even if they haven't the slightest inclination to check out Whatevertheshit Online Enterprises. Still others stuff the ballot boxes at Top Site lists, or spam chatrooms with URLs. The Sinfest readership has been exorbitantly generous in this regard, and I just wanted to let you know it hasn't gone unnoticed. It's damn cool to have that kind of support. Mad love and big thanks for all the pimpwork, you bunch of loony fanboys and girls!

July 23, 2000
Promise you'll never let go
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Just spent four days at the San Diego Comic Con, and it was a blast. I went to several panel discussions, you know, to prepare for that day I myself take the podium and address my very own doting audience of supple, throbbing groupies. As I listened in on heavyweights like Scott McCloud rail away on big important sounding issues, I thought to myself, "Man, I'd look good up there. I should wear red. Yes. Lots of red." And I'll have to assemble a crack entourage of goons with headsets and several dancing girls with jiggle capability. Before my panel discussion, the lights would go down, strobe lights flare, the beat sounds and it's hype time to do a little dance, make a little love...

July 16, 2000
Please Hanmer Don't hurt 'em
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

People say to me, "Tatsuya, how do you stay so fresh and original?" And I says to them, "By avoiding cliches and never biting others." And then the people say to me, "That's righteous, man." And I says back to the people, "Yeah, dig it. I lay off the formulaic, the rehashed, recycled remake--that tired, trite, typical tripe, ya know, and I steer clear of the beaten path and take the road less traveled by, which makes all the difference, see, cuz consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds and with great power comes great responsiblity, so do unto others as you would have done to you, and to thine own self be true, cuz baby, you're a star.

July 9, 2000
Wonder Twin powers... Activate!
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

The word used most often to describe me would have to be "pimp-daddy-licious." Mostly cuz of my plumed sequin fedora, which has become my personal trademark. But I think what really grabs people is my ninja outfit. It's top of the line. People snicker when they see me at cocktail parties; others say mixing Eastern and Euro motifs is a fashion faux pas. But these knuckleheads are just jealous they didn't think of it first. Feudal glam is the hottest fashion craze since Madonna's "skanky gold digger" look of the 80s, and has spread throughout youth culture. Pretty soon teachers, postal workers, and air traffic controllers will be in full dress ninja garb with ostrich feather boas. You watch

July 2, 2000
Bet you can't read just one
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Technical difficulties have forced me to frequent a local computer outlet to upload new strips. For some reason my computer won't connect me to the internet, so I apologize in advance for any updating problems. Comes with the territory , I guess, but it's still a bitch in drag. It's not to be mentioned how these minor setbacks trigger persecution anxiety "Why me? Sweet baby Jesus, why ME!", and conspiracy theories "My enemies seek to thwart me yet again... But I shall foil their evil plan and emerge victorious. Oh yes I shall!" Which is all delusional nonsense, I'm well aware. Computer problems are caused by alpha transmissions from the alien mothership. Everyone knows that.

June 25, 2000
Ever dance with a cherub in broad daylight?
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Disclaimer: Please be advised that the work displayed herein is a work of fiction, and any resemblance to persons, dogs, cats, gods or devils, living or dead, is purely coincidental. Plus, the views and opinions expressed here are not necessarily those of the people who expressed them. We understand the punchline can sometimes be explosively hilarious, but please celebrate responsibly. We will not tolerate looting, pillaging, setting bonfires, carjacking, or groping strangers. That said, let's give it up for the home team and party hard, but party right.

June 18, 2000
Group hug!
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Let's hit some FAQs:
What materials do you use?
Non-photocopy pencils, Micron pens, Sharpies, white-out
When will you make available some Sinfest goodies?
I'll get to it, sport.
On average, how long does it take to produce one strip?
3 hours or so.
You think you're hot shit, don't you, punk?
I don't know, but your mom sure thinks so.
Whatever. What are your political and religious leanings?
Just last night, me and her we got all sick freaky up in the joint. She quacked like a goose, she did. Hya ha ha ha ha ha.
How often were you dropped as a child?
Like a goose!She so nasty!

June 11, 2000
What was the question again?
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

An excerpt from the exclusive Tatsuya Ishida interview, conducted by Leonardo DiCaprio:
Leo: What's it like to be cool?
Tatsuya: Well, Leo--may I call you Leo?
Leo: Of course. Call me whatever.
Tatsuya: Okay, Whatever. You ask some fruity questions.
Leo: Nuh uh.
Tatsuya: Fruity.
Leo: Stop it.
Tatsuya: Fruity fruity fruity.
Leo: Stop hitting me, I'm the king of the world!
At that point, armed security had to separate the two, and Tatsuya was thrown off the White House balcony, onto a throng of teenage girls waving "I'll never let go, Leo" placards. No one was seriously injured.

June 4, 2000
I'm gonna git you, sucka
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

Where does one find inspiration? How do you court the coy muse? Just be yourself? Or do you need a really good opening line to catch her attention? "Hey, muse, lookin' fiiiiiiiiine, mama. Oo! I totally dig that tight body on ya. Let's you and me bounce on over to my crib and do it Picasso-style."; Or you could put out a personal ad: "Muse Wanted: For artistic inspiration, spiritual rebirth, and light ego-massaging. Must be able to handle artist's inner torment. No Harpies please." And hey, what about female artists? Do they have man-muses? Do they look like Fabio? Yeah, that's rich. Fabio in a cherub get-up floating around sprinkling fairy dust on... Cathy Guisewite. "Do it, Fabio," Cathy would moan. "Do it to me Picasso-style."

May 28, 2000
Talk to the hand puppet
Posted by Tatsuya Ishida

It's a Catch-22: As long as the strip is not syndicated, I figure I might as well make good on my creative freedom and go balls wild; consequently I produce more work that's unfit for syndication. Going "mass market," of course, would entail the cleaning up of content, subjection to the whims of an editor, and the surrender of copyright and license to a corporate machine. Which all sounds pretty terrible until you hear the ka-ching of your internal cash register and meet up with fine-ass groupie honeys, which, according to some hip hop lyrics, is the meaning of life. Making the bigs, joining the A-list, going to the show and pimpin' your muse on the catwalk... that's the dream, baby. But hey, I'm just talkin' here...

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