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This forum is making me giddy, take 2.
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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:39 pm    Post subject: This forum is making me giddy, take 2. Reply with quote

I dedicate this thread to reasonablymad, possibly one of the best people ever.
Original.
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Definetly....Definetly dont get killed by DV8 on THURSDAY...definetly not on thursday no not on...definetly not on thursday! definetly...definetly didnt mean...definetly didnt mean to like...K-pax die definetly...definetly didnt mean that....

the above post is an attempt to catch the magic of rainman...It failed. My public execution will be held on saturday...definetly not monday.
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I posted again so as to keep the universe from imploding.
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I can't wait until the punctuation party.
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You all are nuts.
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I was hoping to be a martyr.
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Oh, sorry. I was just baffled by your Nickerific, uh... nickedness... uh... OK, so I'm just baffled.
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Is it equipped with the One Hour penis?
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i laphed and laphed and laphed
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I always sprain my tongue when I talk shit.
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I used to think that some people are just naturally turned on by strange things, but each fetish was fundamentally no different or less healthy than the next.
Then I found out that there are a lot of sick, twisted fucks in the world who mask deep-seeded psychoses behind a sick, twisted fetish and they refuse to get help because, in their denial, they think everybody's fetishes are equal and not indicative of some serious mental imbalances.


Oh wait, I thought that said "furry," not "funny."
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Is it really stalking if its consentual?
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I'd worry if a wang suddenly appeared behind ME!
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why did I give this thread such a stupid title?
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Man, most ppl here are mean, the topics are weird...
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will you be worth something sometime soon?
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American spellings are made from evil.
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self improvment is masturbation
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still, no amount of training keeps them from licking the ice cubes
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thank you for making a mistake.
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they must eat speed and hallucinagins for breakfast.
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So XXX movies probably have people in them that are naked all the time!
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huh what how do i work this thing?
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Oh how i long to be a gremlin king
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Only the strong (and frustratingly persistant) survive.
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uh.. yeah. That would be groovy.
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why those things would drive me to having a cartoon dragon needled across my cock and a large metal knob pierced through it
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There was no real story. Each episode was just designed to creep you out in expectation of new and further depressing modalities of a psyched-out futuristic anomie designed around fatalistic and inexplicable visual wierdness, loosely held around the tangent of a number of characters who may or may not die in any given episode. Plus a guy with a sword.
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This is like the time when we can put aside political differences and talk about hot white chicks.
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Happy Birthday from all of us here at the 80s Japanese computer party.
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I find that ornament offensive. Remove it immediately.
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I THINK I HAVE DONE MYSELF A MISCHIEF WHILE TRYING TO SMELL MY PENIS

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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 1:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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hump some innocent oceanic creatures
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well that was a helluva lot more pleasant than the previous conversation
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Oh, Jesus, can you make me your side kick? Like, a "mini-massiah"?
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A blind chimp typing with his dick could do better.
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ok, a vocabulary lesson for you. "analogy" is not an adequate term for whatever the fuck you just said.
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I have to eat and sleep and masturbate sometime. Although I've cut downtime by doing any two at once.
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Heh....there's just something a little too....yiffy about that last comment.
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Sinfest: bringing people together, one bizarre sexual experience at a time.
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I would not call America a Bully.
JohnnyStrider wrote:
...
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you and your ship are defining new levels of closeness.
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NEKID SQUIRLES NEKID SQUIRLES!!!

NEKID SQUIRLES NEKID SQUIRLES!!!

NEKID SQUIRLES NEKID SQUIRLES!!!

NEKID SQUIRLES NEKID SQUIRLES!!!
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I'm just not going to sit here and say that the whole human experience is infinitely better since the advent of chapstick and toaster ovens.
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primary sexual structures.
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YOUR KNOWLEDGE IS WRONG, FOOL. I GOOGLE YOUR SHIT SO HARD, YOU BE LIKE "WHY YOU GOOGLE ME SO HARD"
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Dear Jesus:
When will people cease finding random ways to kill, maim, and mutilate me in #sinfest? My magic 8 ball refuses to answer, saying only "ask again later"...
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A squirrel tried to commit suicide by running under my car, but I swerved and let it live...
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Every time I hear from you, you make me wish I pulled out when I fucked your mom.
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I mean, no matter how much preaching you all do, I don't think I will every enjoy banging the shit out of a cat.
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Ah, the ellipsis... my first love.
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I haven't had to leave ANY place because I was hated.
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I'm a Juggernaughty.
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would someone be so kind as to GET THE IMAGE OF SPIDERS BARKING AT ME out of my head? thank you.
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What you're talking about isn't having sex on a fur rug, its having sex with a fur rug.
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a little thong never hurts...

but a very little thong can hurt like hell.
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And thats what you cant see. Mike totally about to spank the orca in the ass with a dead seal.
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so much baggage. but hey! i'm great in the sack!
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Your mom makes me giddy.

Your mom makes me want to vomit when her lice-ridden, scabbed up ass asks if she can suck my dick while the jizz of a hundred lepers still dries on her face and her breath smells of the gopher shit she had for lunch.
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i thought there'd be penis trees and penis puppies and little penis children!!
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Mmmmm, this girls not at all terryfyingly child-like in appearance.
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Do you wake up at night and just want a dose of Skippy?
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satan dropped out.
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nope, i'm not teasing you, ag
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This is obviously a

SINFEST CONSPIRACY OMG!!!

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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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Its not like thats a hobby. ONly did the to hanson cuz i spent all that time mastrubating.
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I just don't understand people who ask for budgeting advice (let alone "finacial advice") like this. Jesus fucking christ just use some common goddamned sense.

A) How much do I make per month?
B) How much do I owe in bills/living expenses each month?
C) THAT'S IT. THERE IS NO FUCKING STEP C.

The fact that you have free rent, food, medical, etc. AND are still experiencing money problems (to the point that you require outside assistance) absolutey astounds me. Every friend I've had who was in the military constantly had tons of cash on hand because they got paid regularly and had essentially zero living expenses.

There's no super-duper amazing secret that everyone else knows - just don't spend more money than you MAKE, you fucking twit.
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I'm not eastern european...

but I wish I was!
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Yeah. Only on sinfest can we turn a discussion about something classical and wholesome as Star Wars and end up talking about fucking melons.
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Nice shoes, wanna fuck?
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Its my Silverwearsona! Its not that....ya know we wanna have sex with silverwear....CUZ WE KNOW ITS NOT ALIVE! We just love the way the cold metal feels against our naked body....
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I had sex with dead people?
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Now wait just a minute! I am extremely picky. Especially when it comes to chicks that I spend more than one night with.
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oh man, a post about fantasies on sinfest, i expected it to be:

I WANT TO WHIP MY BOY SLAVE UNTIL HIS SKIN IS RED AND RAW, THEN I WANT TO TURN INTO A FOX HALFWAY THROUGH AND THEN WE HAVE FURRY SEX, AND THEN I DRESS UP AS A VAMPIRE.... AND DRINK HIS BLOOD

but instead it's like

i want to snuggle.



WTF i am so let down
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I don't know what's more offensive, the implication that I masturbate into my face, or the implication that I can't convince anyone else to blow in my face.
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Depending on whether there's a clearance or not, I may be purchasing a Virgin tonite.

Target sells them.
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That is just the most idiotic thing I've ever seen.
Worse than this thread about it?
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You thought wrong, buttsniffer.
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the thing about the invisible jet is THE CONTROLS ARE INVISIBLE TOO WTF
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Never post a fucking dildo banana!
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Oh well, it is almost noon, need to go pay my "sex at noon taxes".
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According to the North Korean government, Kim Jong Il is fast on his way to becoming the first nation leader put on the moon. With a North Korean space program.

I, for one, think Kim Jong Il is already there.
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Ive always wanted to taste a kitten. But I didnt want to know it was a kitten beforehand. Only afterhand when i had grown addicted to its wonderful taste so that its cuteness couldnt stop me from eating it.
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Sit, did ye not know of the Law of Inverse Tastiness? The cuter a creature is, the uglier it tastes. So, a kitten, especially one of mine, will taste like shit covered with shit-flavored cotton candy.
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Goose makes sure the kitty is in fact just a kitty, and not a tiny person in a suit...
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I had a dream where I was having sex with a girl who was on fire.
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That's TOO hot!
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yeah, she must have been really smokin'!
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If the burning sensation was in your urethra, she probably wasn't on fire. Rather, you have a STD.

Not so great a dream now, eh?
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flames shooting out of her vagina wouldn't be so great, either.
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You are the one into burnt hymen.
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*stops chewing*
liar!
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Best rock voice... BAH!
All modern rock music are all about this: WAR!!! RATATATATA WAAAAAAH!!!
FEAR!!! RATATATATATA WAAAAAAAH!!!
*insert airguitar here*
WAAAAAAAH!!!
WAAAAAAAAH!!!
WAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!
*insert insane headshake here*
TRATATATATATATA!!!
*stage dive*
YEAH!!!
YEAH!!!
*insert earblasting 1000DB loud guitar music here*
YEAH!!!
*the singer (?) returns to the stage from the raging crowd*
YEAH!!!
*insert boom and other strange fireworks here*
Thank you very much! I love you people and by the way: F*ck you all!
See you next time! I hope you liked the concert! YEAH!!! Peace and respect and shit!
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i love my wife dearly...




...don't tell my girlfriend
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don't piss down my back and tell me it's raining.
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don't you bullshit a bull. the bull is the master bullshitter. the bull knows his own smell.
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*the term "home" is used herein as a loose interpretation of a large refridgerator box or shipping crate with a pyramidal "hat"
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also, i have polite stomach acid.
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Sometimes I wonder why I walk in a room full of cocks...
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You, Dragonwriter. I would love to pummel and smuch your flabby, amphibian, wart-ridden anus into a fine paste while you cry like a little girl.
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*tears off the forum's mask to reveal 'DISCUSSION OF DRAGONWRITER'S PUNGENT AND LEAKY ARSE FORUM'*
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the sipper lays against your body
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Does anyone really know what the super powers are or whatever they are, o can anybody help me out by telling me where i could find out?
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jake typically doesn't post over the weekend.
It allows the servers to cool down.
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I'm starting to see why some would find you appealing. You can be the most terrible tease on the forum, you know that?
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I don't know about terrible. I thought I was rather good at it.
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"my fursona is a rabid chipmunk. wanna fuck?"
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Once i wrote an entire history paper in french by accident. And i cant read french. Imagine the bind i was in.
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oooo, now I won't have to worry about being lost in the wilderness, big brother'll always be there to watch over me.

even when I'm playing with myself, thinking of him.

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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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OOOOHHHHH! STRAWBERRY SHORTPIGGY!! I love it(you)!
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Sick sick fuckers. But hey, you're sinfesters so I'll sell you my pet goat for $20. It's a virgin. I swear.
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So I've been slapping my ass against the monitor for ten minutes yelling "Spank me Fris Spank Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!"
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My anus... is bleeding...
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Fixed!
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I leave for a few hours, I become an elf. Goddamit.
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I don't like where this is going.
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I am an angry little man.
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What squishy panties I have on. YAy!
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The US ARMY vs A Snake.


AIRBORNE: Lands on and kills the snake.

ARMOR: Runs over snake, laughs and looks for more snakes.

ARMY AVIATION: Has GPS grid of snake. Couldn't find snake. Flies back to base for crew rest and a manicure.

RANGER: Plays with snake and then eats it.

FIELD ARTILLERY: Kills snake, but in the process kills several hundred civilians with massive TOT barrage with three FA brigades in support. Mission is considered a success and all participants (cooks, mechanics, clerks) are awarded the Silver Star.

COMBAT ENGINEERS: Studies snake. Prepares in-depth doctrinal thesis in obscure 5 series Field Manual about how to defeat snake using counter-mobility assets. Complains that the maneuver forces don't understand how to properly conduct doctrinal counter-snake operations.

NAVY S.E.A.L.: Expends all ammunition, several grenades and calls for naval gunfire support in failed attempt to kill snake. Snake bites SEAL and retreats to safety. (SEAL blames bad intel for mission failure.) Hollywood makes movies about extreme muslim snakes.

COMBAT CONTROLLER: Guides snake elsewhere.

AIR FORCE PARA-RESCUE: Wounds snake in the first encounter, then feverishly works to save the snake's life.

MARINE RECON: Follows snake and gets lost.

SPECIAL FORCES: Makes contact with the snake, builds rapport, wins its heart and mind, and then trains it to kill other snakes. Returns home and files gigantic travel expense report.

ARMY MILITARY INTELLIGENCE: Locates snake without snake knowing. Studies snake and it's movements. Reports back to company commander on snake's location and movement. Snake discovers it's location has been compromised and disappears. (MI blames poor OPSEC for snake's disappearance and conducts SAEDA training for next six months)

CIA: Snake? What snake? Only four of 35 indicators of snake activity are currently active. We assess the potential for snake activity as LOW. Snake is under their chair.

ARMY QUARTERMASTER: Captures snake, applies a National Stock Number (NSN) to it. Implements a Found On Installation (FOI) procedures and picks up snake on property book. Has company commander sign hand receipt for "Snake, Green, One Each," as non-expendable unit property.

JUDGE ADVOCATE GENERAL CORP: Advises the snake on the rules of engagement and the law of war as it pertains to the snake and it's defensive posture. Refuses to sentence snake to death citing professional courtesy.

C-17 TRANSPOT PILOT: Receives call for anti-snake equipment, delivers two weeks after due date. When delivery is made, also includes ice cream, bibles, and 40,000 copies of War and Peace because "It was on the list"

F-15 PILOT: Misidentifies snake as enemy Mil-24 Hind helicopter and engages with missiles. Crew chief paints snake kill on aircraft.

F-16 PILOT: Finds snake, drops two CBU-87 cluster bombs, misses target, but gets direct hit on Embassy 100 km east of snake due to weather (too hot also too cold, was clear but too overcast, too dry with rain, unlimited ceiling with low cloud cover, etc.). Claims that purchasing multimillion dollar, high-tech snake-killing device will enable it in the future to kill all snakes and achieve a revolution in military affairs.

AH-64 APACHE PILOT: Unable to locate snake, snakes don't show well on infrared. Infrared only operable in desert AO's without power lines or SAM's.

UH-60 BLACKHAWK PILOT: Finds snake on fourth pass after snake builds bonfire, pops smoke, lays out VS 17 to mark Landing Zone. Rotor wash blows snake into fire.

B-52 PILOT: Pulls ARCLIGHT mission on snake, kills snake and every other living thing within two miles of target.

MINUTEMAN MISSLE CREW: Lays in target coordinates to snake in 20 seconds, but cannot receive authorization from National Command Authority to use nuclear weapons.

CHEMICAL CORPS: Starts to gas the little bastard, but then realizes that there is an M-18, A-2 Respirator especially made for snakes, remembers the Chemical Corps Motto, UTAWBAG (Up Their Ass With Bugs And Gas), and conducts three experiments on it that have been strictly prohibited by the Clinton Treaty of 1999.

SIGNAL CORPS: Consults with Forestry Service as to the location, species, and endangerability of snake, prepares OPORD, conducts pre-staging in the Motor Pool, disseminates FRAGOs, tactically convoys to ISB, spends three days in tents at ISB, convoys to site in field, establishes signal site, sets up NC and erects Cammo netting, and establishes a tactical signal environment, discerns location of snake in AO, uses 2.5 miles of flourescent engineer tape to "mark off" snake's AO to ensure that there's an obviously "endangered species" within the perimeter, set up barbeque grills tactically hidden under and behind cammo and forget about snake.

ROTC: Prof. of Military Science at obscure Florida school sends platoon of ROTC Cadets out to insure snake does not get onto football field. One half of ROTC platoon gets lost in end zone, abandons equipment and weapons and executes retrograde movement to nearest Burger King. Other half of ROTC platoon finds snake. Several members run away screaming. One member grabs snake and chases female cadet with it, then falls down on snake and breaks leg (cadet's, not snake's). Cadet gets lifetime pension for LOD injury. Snake escapes onto football field, while remainder ROTC platoon die of thirst trying to find way back to ROTC building.
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NO! He's LYING. SHOOT HIM!
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*takes the money* no problem. I've got orifices a plenty.
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Please also give me your first name, age, location, and whether you are male, female, or other. (WARNING: choosing "other" will horribly skew results and may have disastrous results on your end)
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Forget it. I've got enough disastrous results on my end.
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Sometimes a blind squirrel finds.....that he's fucked by some guy in a fur suit? In otherwords, I got lucky.
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Well it looks like she is taking good care of the palm reading, but again if anyone wants tarot cards read, mind readings, and other things of the such and you live near PA or MD send me a pm and maybe we can work something out, I do take tips i need money bad

can you read my mind? I'm in PA.....

Not through the net *laughs*.

Of course, that would be ridiculous.
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I see we have established a fairly canon comedy routine - one man, multiple women, only one bed. Whatever is an enterprising male to do?
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Build more beds.
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You do this always when i take a bath...
Why are you so afraid that i will cheat on you with the soap?
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*falls over backwords*
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What the midget-fuck?
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YOU TELL 'EM, BOY. MAKE SURE THAT SABACC KNOWS THAT PIECE OF WOMAN IS OWNED BY YOU. GET YOUR OWN PERSONAL PROPERTY GAWDAMMIT.
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i'd like to lambast someone about the head and shoulders with an umbrella, while yelling in my best respectable-old-lady voice "stop that! you naughty, naughty boy! what the f*** do you think you're doing?"
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Do not argue with me - my I.Q. is 100%.
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it would seem as though I’m about to partake in some narcissistic makeout session.
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I give up for now
my stash is gone my cats high and i'm out of doritos
so i quit
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Sorry, I draw the line at acnephilia.
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Game controller is my sword, X-box is my shield.
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Welcome to Sinfest
Population: Crazy
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i replied cuz i couldn't help it
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Help it.
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If you drink beer as much as Squigley I may have to marry you.


ohnoes! we're getting married!


I'll start digging a Priest trap.


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Your children will be hideous.


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you're just jealous


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...Yes. Crying or Very sad

I love that god damn sheep-shagging Adonis.

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Sleix



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1
Location: Los Angeles, CA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hell, skip the foreplay, just screw the forums into submission, eh? Sounds about adequate, considering the history... Wink
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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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But how is the Sherrif of Nottingham to cut out any hearts with no spoon?
Fuck yeah there's a spoon. I just finished off some rice-a-roni with it. Don't tell me there's no fucking spoon.
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Are you afraid of allowing a woman to come between you and your right hand?
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LOL.... you always know how to stroke my giggle switch
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No matter what you call it, just stroke it! Nobody's gonna slap your hand.
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I googled my ass off searching for it
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I have a vague uneasy feeling I’ve just accidentally indulged you in some sort of disturbing fetish.
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Hey, I'm not mean, and I support the death penalty too.
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america: deer in the headlights. too stupid to move forward, too afraid to turn back.
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a hand in the bush is worth two stoned birds feeling up their silk purses.
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great. now you have me thinking about the stems on altar boys.
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The one when someone somewhere someday called someone somewhere someday as an idiot but that one was solved when someone somewhere someday said enough.
Whatever...
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I think he was referring to Santa being his alien sex lobster....
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My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet. My father would womanize, he would drink, he would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Some times he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament. My childhood was typical, summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds, pretty standard really. At the age of 12 I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian woman named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles. There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum, it's breathtaking, I suggest you try it.
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You're basically saying you welcome being murdered by a homicidal baker?
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Why.....that man has no pants on!
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cell phones are manufactured by aliens. someday there will be enough of us using these devices, spread out across the entire planet, that their evil alien plans will come to fruition: an earth-sized receiver, ready for the hideous alien dictator's pre-conquest transmission. it will probably happen after 9 pm or on a weekend.
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You never realized how hot girl on girl oral toe action was before now, hm?
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bird booty
shoots the dooty
thus, be smart
beware bird fart
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It's a very odd feeling, riding around in someone else's head. It's like I can see what they see, feel what they feel, hear what they hear, know their thoughts, but know that I am still a seperate person than the one I'm dreaming in.
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I understand. It's good enough for Astronauts, but not good enough for You.
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Dude...I know for a fact that not only COULD a monkey do that job...several HAVE!
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you deal in pickled cooch, my friend. that's a noble profession.
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true story: my hands smells funny. before and after I checked this thread.
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christians are famous for their holiday carpetbagging
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I'm a genius! chocolate!
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Capitals are important. They are the difference between, "Help your Uncle Jack off the horse." and "help your uncle jack off the horse."
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Ag's ideas are often ruined by laws. Wheter they be Consitutinal, national, international or simply phsycal laws.


Dont forget simple human decency.
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Let us frolick with our opinion based on someone of whom we never knew, but yet still have profound opinions about his stupidity.
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I pray that the current American administration gets abducted by aliens every night. Not that I am Christain or anything. I pray to the aliens.
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You put 'em right by showing them your moosey bits?
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You like saying 'truly' alot. Thats cool cause I like to say 'stfu' alot.
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This reminds me of a Chinese teacher I had... He would sniff us in class...

I miss that guy.
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Grow up?

Ag's like a child. In a hairy Midwesterner's body.
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That's why Sinfest is so good at validating people -- We're the hottest, smartest, coolest internet forum on the Earth. Just ask us.
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Your sig is like Baron Harkonen. Bloated and terrifying.
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Sinfest, so weak it regards coffee as a 'high'.
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I don't enjoy driving in an outhouse.
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I'm fucking Hitler
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There's nothing like grinding up that first kitten in the morning, and running boiling water through it. Gets me ready for the long day.
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I DEMAND PICTURES OF BREASTS!
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They may appear random but they are in fact part of a hip new language called english, I’m hoping to export it across the world one day.
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I'm always ready to give a bunch of sheepfuckers another chance.
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fuck yeah, you swaggering god-sized polestraddler
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Sometimes when I'm bored I'll still get my orcs out though...
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Again, tell me the meaning of coherent?
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'dis iz teh govt we tawkin 'bout...n'er maind.
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Maybe if you guys could just, you know, stop worshipping Isis so much?
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the sneaky part is when you leave, take your pay, and hope she doesn't notice that you have her baby in your purse...
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They may call me trashy, but at least they call me.
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Imagine our pig-monkey-dragon offspring, it’d be like a walking zodiac.
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so that's -- what, the secret nickname of god?
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I must agree. Throughout the four corners of the interweb, the name "Sinfest" makes men shake with fear and women quiver with orgasms.

In short, we rock.
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Sodomy is nice...
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Not not only did you upset the nice run of quotes, but that was barely fucking intelligble.
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Yesterday I had a near-sex-experience. Fumbling in the dark. Today I have black hair.
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I follow my head. Because it is way more irrational and prone to wind me up in insane situations than my heart.

My heart just winges "Blah blah blah no, no! don't eat that deep friend bacon and chilli sandwich with more bacon instead of bread! don't smoke so much, i can't push blood around your body! oh god i'm dying!"
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I'm Cthulhu, I am the great devourer bringing down your world in a thousand year tempest of chaos and destruction unlike anything ever imagined in all the darkest dreams of humanity and heralding the new and terrible reign of the elder gods for all eternity.

Sexually speaking.
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...I only hump close, personal friends. Really. Otherwise I'd never get anything done.
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ARRGH! IT’S LIKE SCANTILY CLAD KRYPTONITE!
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Sinfest: An impasse in four posts or less, or your money back.
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I went to a concentration camp, we had a lot of fun, like this one time we filled the gas chambers with inflatable dolls, you should have seen the look on the camp commander's face when he opened the door!
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Of course, I am making the assumption that the Swedish Bikini team won't be involved. They've got enough ass for anything.
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I PUNISH THEE WITH 50 LASHES SERVED BY THE MEMBERS OF THE SWEDISH BONDAGE COOKING TEAM!
Quote:
on a recent trip to dallas in his pimp mobile, tat was shot three times (though that's inconclusive). his body was whisked away by the cia, who ran into some trouble with aliens that had just escaped from area 51. the aliens got the body, but before they could beam up to the mothership they were distracted by another group of aliens posing as tax collectors. after much debate about W-4's, they decided to share tat's remains. the second group of aliens made off for argentina with the brain, where they tried to splice it with hitler's brain in an attempt to create the ultimate antichrist for the 21st century, but it wasn't working. all the tat-hitler brain wanted to do is draw 4 panel comics about an illicite affair between a french pastry and an austrian sausage. meanwhile the first group of aliens were having trouble of their own. there was an accident with the teleporter coordinates, and tat's body ended up in pope john paul's coffin, while the pope himself mysteriously appeared briefly as a glowing apparition hovering above mecca, then vanished completely. in the ensuing riots, millions of muslims converted to christianity, which then spawned a world war between the scientologists and everyone else. three hours later there was world peace. president bush was crowned emperor of the universe. in order to pay tribute to the man who made all this possible, bush went to rome and had the coffin of the pope opened. his intent was to put the holy remains on display, much in the way that lenin's body is displayed in the kremlin. imagine his surprise when he found not the pope, but tatsuya ishida. bush immediately added sinfest to the axis of evil and declared war on the forum. we won. as pro-tem rulers, select forum members negotiated with the various alien factions and had tat's brain rejoined with his body, and then reanimated. upon recovery, tat told a wild tale about a bright light and angels and a booming voice and a hand that reached from the clouds... we just laughed and said, "good old tat... glad to have you back." then he went on a well deserved vacation.
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Homo Genesis.

And God said, "Let there be show tunes."
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i prefer making out with EK than having an elbow crammed into my vagina
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scenario #1

eager dad: "heeeey kids! wheeeere's WALLY!?"
kid #1: "who fucking cares?"
kid #2: "wally's so lame, dad."

scenario #2

eager dad: "heeeey kids! wheeeere's WALDO!?"
kid #1: "OMG!!11!"
kid #2: "you fucking rock dad!"
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Yeah, Marik, you Americans and your Waldo sure are cool. You know what else is cool? This cool brick I found on the way home, it's kind of brown and WOAH OOPS I JUST SMASHED THE BRICK INTO YOUR SKULL SEVENTEEN TIMES AND YOUR SKULL JUST SHATTERED AND NOW THE BRICK IS IN YOUR BRAIN AND YOU'RE SEVERELY BRAIN DAMAGED AND THERE'S BLOOD EVERYWHERE I'M SO SORRY MAN THAT'S MY BAD, HERE LET ME HELP YOU UP OHHHHHH SHIT NOW I'VE CRAMMED THE BRICK DOWN YOUR THROAT AND I ACCIDENTALLY STOOD ON YOUR TESTICLES BOY I SURE AM KLUTZY TODAY HERE LET ME TRY AND DISLODGE THAT BRICK FROM YOUR THROAT WITH MY FIST.
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My brother requests that you crawl in a kangaroo's pouch and have sex with a wallaby and a koala bear at the same time.
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Maybe you should keep your seedy, sex pervert brother away from me.
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tee hee. I'm soo immature. I'll never be a MILF at this rate.
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Of course he's a stylish dresser, he's clearly the most awesome human being alive. When he's not relaxing with friends or kicking old ladies in the face he probably drives around mexico in a golden limousine curing the sick, feeding the poor and sexing the senoritas.

I love that man in a way I never thought possible.
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Well it depends. How soon after each other. If I raped, and 2 hours later willem raped. It wouldn't be gangrape I think.


You mean you can't rape someone for over 2 hours?

Weakling.
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Because everyone knows that the Irish naturally have three testicles, just for such a situation.
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You think? News to me.
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I AM AMERICA! I CARE NOT WHAT YOU DECIDE!

UN, you have a problem with that? You know what you should do? You should sanction me. Sanction me with your army. Oh!! Wait a minute! You don't have an army! I guess that means you need to shut the fuck up! That's what I'd do if I don't no army. I would shut the fuck up. Shut. The. Fuck. Up!! That's right!
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And above all, treasure your ears. They are the key to sexual freedom.

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Halen



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1883
Location: England

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dude, stop it. It's actually more annoying than you'd think.

New forum, new danger.
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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 2:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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And then Marik says, "That's no gun!"
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You tick-infested syphilitic mouth-breathing monosyllable herpes-addled parasitic cock-mangling rancid labia-sagging-down-to-your-well-worn-knees pop-culture lamprey! How dare you put LAURA FUCKING BUSH and not Jackie Cochran???
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If this list is any indication of what America finds great, the greatest american ever would be a lying, cheating, blind, black, gay, athletic pimp with musical abilities and a bad haircut.

I think that sounds pretty accurate.
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HAY EVERYONE LET'S FORM AN ORDERLY QUE TO HUG THE BRITISH PERSON.

ennnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd sarcasm
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Willem: You must be tired Cthulhu, you've been running around in my dreams the whole night.
Cthulhu: Fear me mortal!
Willem: I lost my phonenumber, can I have yours?
Cthulhu: Fear me!
Willem: Is your father a thief, because he stole the stars from the sky and put them in your eyes.
Cthulhu: .......
Willem: If looking good was a crime, you'd be a criminal.
Cthulhu: *destroys Willem*
Willem: Is your father an astronaut, because...AAAAAARGGGH!
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...long hair is still theoretical at this point.
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Yes. I mean you could be a cruel heartless guy. And not give a damn that your mother will lose her best linens. You could also rape and kill a hundred babies. I mean thats up to you. But picture this. Your mother comes home from a busy day of doing whatever it is your mother does. She goes to the closet to check on her best linens. This is somthing she does everyday. She really loves those linens. Even more than she loves you. And when she opens the door she finds that the linens aren't there. "OH NO" She thinks. But she is not in full fledge panic mode yet. She merely thinks she misplaced them. So she enters the bedroom. And thats when she see its. My head is resting on the pillow. However the rest of my body is bleeding all over her linens. She faints. By the time she comes to im already dead. But her linens are too. She weaps for years. She blames you for the loss of such glorious linens. Of course you don't care about your mothers feelings. If you did you would have ceased being such a vapid postwhore a long time ago. But Eddy down the street. He really did love your mother. And seeing her in such a horrible state over some linens. Well it breaks his heart too. So he vows revenge. And he gets it.

As for me. Don't worry. I have a few more lifes to go before Nirvana so I can spare one to see that your mothers linens get whats coming to them.
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I just now realized that I've been reading everything today in a bad german accent. On the plus side, you've all sounded very intellectual lately.
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Woo!

That's supposed to me MUCH more excited, but it's the internet, so like, imagine me being the excited train going around in circles saying "woo!" over and over to really and fully express my excitement and happiness for you!
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"So John just got a license to kill babies without reason or provocation?"

"Yeah, but he's been pretty busy at the office working on the McGregor deal. I wouldn't sweat it too much."
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Oregon. As long as I don't head north of portland into St. Helens territory, or too far south into the earthquake zone, I'm virtually immune to all manner of natural disasters.

Though I am concerned about beer prices.
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i'm so glad i decided to catch up on the sinfest forum while i ate my lunch....
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Can't I leave you people alone for TWO DAYS without you running unethical genetics experiments to create horrible nation-destroying bioweapons?
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you know, this could revitalize the space race. we wouldn't have to spend all that money on launching rockets.

"5...4...3...2...now, all together everyone: 'we hate the earth! we want to be alone!'"
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Hooray for fish slappers!
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I'll write it for you.

Here it goes.

*Willem walks up to podium as woman swoon and men cheer*
Willem: Please everybody calm down.
Crowd: *cheering louder.
Willem: Haha you guys...but seriously I have an important topic to discuss with you.
Crown: *Cheering dies down.
Willem: Ok I'm here to talk to you about the end of the world!
Crowd: Ooohs and Ahhs
Willem: Thats right it is a pretty interesting subject. Dynamite weighs like...a few ounces or somthing.
Crowd: How interesting
Willem: and so like a stick of the could probably blow up that wall right there.
Crowd: *Glances at wall and nods*
Willem: Ok so like a buncha dynamite would be a TOTAL bummer. Think of all the walls that would be knocked down and stuff.
Crowd: *agrees*
Willem: But thats not even the worst part. Now we got NUKES!
Crowd: *GASPS*
Willem: Thats right one nuke and your all gone. Dead as a doornail. All of Belgium just poof and its over. No more waffles. No more (insert somthing Belgiums do other than make waffles)
Crowd: NO MORE WAFFLES!?!?!
Willem: Thats right. NO. MORE. WAFFLES.
Crowd: *Several members run out of the room crying*
Willem: So some people say that the world will end in a big ass boom. From Nukes. And we all die. Total bummer.
Crowd: *nods*
Willem: But theres one more option according to Robert Frost.
Crowd: *Claps for knowing the name of a poet*
Willem: That is in ice. Now Ice would be pretty sucky too. Cuz we'd be all cold and stuff. And we'd freeze to death. Who here has seen that movie "The Day after Tomorrow"?
Crowd: *several hands go up*
Willem: Cool well thats how Some people say the world might end. They are of course dead wrong.
Crowd: *GASPS* CAN HE SAY THAT?!?!?! *several more audience members run out of the room crying*
Willem: See I've been doing a lot of research and in that movie the U.S freezes and they all have to go to Mexico...But I see nothing about Belgium. My theory...We will build a waffle wall that keeps out the cold by then. So no need to worry about the freezing thing.
Crowd: Phew
Willem: But your still pretty screwed with the Nukes
Crowd: Shit
Willem: Well thats it.
Hot Teacher: Willem that was magnificent would you like to have wet hot sex with me?
Willem: Ok
Crowd: *cheers*


You can thank me later.
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it's comparing apples to radioactive space monkeys.
Quote:
Seven days ago a friend of mine picked up an avacado and said 'Oh hey, a raw guacamole'
Quote:

Thats pretty much how all threads turn out.


1st person wrote:
I disagree with (insert random issue)


2nd person wrote:
Nay good sir I beleve that (insert issue) is hardly a problem!

1st person wrote:
Well of course you do all (insert political party) think (insert issue) isn't really an issue but let me tell you somthing it is!


2nd person wrote:
I will need some sources before i believe (insert issue) is truly an issue


1st person wrote:
www.(insert issue).com is a good site that shows you just how serious (insert issue) is!


2nd person wrote:
You must be high to think that www.(insert issue).com is a reliable source. I think we all remember what they said about (insert 2nd issue)


1st person wrote:
(2nd issue) is completly irrelevant and you know it.

Ag wrote:
MAN BOOBIES AND BUTT SEX!

2nd person wrote:

.....


Ag wrote:
MAN BOOBIES AND BUTT SEX!!!

1st person wrote:

man boobies and butt sex?


Ag wrote:
LET ME MOLEST YOU!

1st person wrote:
....uhhhh.....


2nd person wrote:
You win, Im out.


Ag wrote:
BUTTTTT SEEEXXXXXX
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I am NOT a pretty boy.
Quote:
When alls said and done, reproductive organs aren't terribly attractive anyway - male OR female. The phrase 'polishing a turd' springs to mind. Wouldn't the money be better spent on a nice big pair of tits, or a tighter, rounder ass? That way, no man would be particularly bothered what your cunt looked like as he peirced it with his angry fat cock.
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I met a Belgian at camp.
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What a strange place to go to just to meet a Belgian. Tell me, what was his name?
Quote:
Remi. He smelt of waffles and buggery.
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it's ok, man, I chew ice cubes out of sexual frustration, but then I started doing yoga, now I just have to get used to the taste of my ass.
Quote:
I vote. I write letters. I evangelize like John the Motherfucking Baptist.
Quote:
This hot dog too has made the mortal mistake of insulting my family's honor!!

SHIV SHIV!!
Quote:
you mean I'm smoking a penis?

a puerto rican penis, in fact, since apparently cubans are illegal here.
Quote:
i'll have you know, i come to my conclusions by careful, scientific observation.

which fully corraborates my bias.
Quote:
him so vain, I bet him think this poorly written verse is about him.
Quote:
It's not porn, but it's still cool.
Quote:
I got a parcel from Taylor for Christmas. It might not count, but I put my hand in it and and drew a face on it and was all

WHY HELLO THERE SQUIDDY YOUNG SHAVER ME LAD TALLY HO, THIS HERE IS TAYLOR AND I'M A BRIT TALLY HO SWAGGER HEY NONNY NONNY BIT OF ALRIGHT NUDGE NUDGE LADY BINGDLEY TEA AND CRUMPET GAZEBOS AND KNICKERS GUFFAW GUFFAW!

Then it started trying to kiss me, and I was screaming NO, NO TAYLOR, NO, I JUST THINK OF YOU A FRIEND and Taylor was all OH COME ON LOVEY, YOU COCKTEASE, JUST A LITTLE KISS, JUST A LITTLE KISS and he started undoing my fly and I was crying and he wouldn't stop and he kept telling me it would be alright and he... oh god I killed him, I took his bubblewrap filled neck and I squeezed and squeezed until he stopped breathing and making those horrible noises...

So who's up for an Aussie Sincon?
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Yeah, he's a real butch on the old froostershire, isn't he?
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it's not gay if I teach a boy monkey to jerk me off, right, it's more like a porn thing, right?
Quote:
God, if the market were to collapse I'd lose all the poverty I've worked so hard to earn.
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Don't you live with your mum?
Quote:
I believe this calls for Benny. For if he cannot masturbate to it, it cannot be masturbated to.
Quote:
They increased the penalty charge mildly from 5 to death.
Quote:
Apparently they chased him down, pinned him down then shot him five times in the head. Go police! It's not yet certain if he had any explosives.
Quote:
Only 5 shots? It looks like NYC cops are, oh, I don't know, about 8 times better at dealing with suspicious-looking people.
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Oops, I molested a child?
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*grabs Mal for a traditional game of Goth tossing*
Yehaw! It's like horseshoes but sadder and angrier!
Quote:
Yeah, Italy was totally famous for its geishas.
Quote:
Quote:
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I never did care for philosophers. But I suppose they have their uses.



Name one.



Determining the nature of truth and justice.

Also, anti-intellectualism is gross.
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In case you missed my last post, I wasnt being serious, I was just being stupid to get under peoples skin because I was bored so just ignore what I said.
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message_die() was called multiple times. This isn't supposed to happen. Was message_die() used in page_tail.php?
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I am insuating you are a homosexualist.
Quote:
You make it sound like Him and Victim masturbating over themselves in a shower of wanksplat posting is an irregular occurence.
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I have the power of the apostrophe. So I can call people shunting cockflaps for typing "your" instead of "you're"
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I can make things with the power of my ring, and you smell like fish.
Quote:
Apply insect repellent to your 'nan.
Quote:
Let's not forget Homosexual Stabbing Rape. In fact, let us NEVER forget Homosexual Stabbing Rape, no matter how much we may try to forget Homosexual Stabbing Rape.
Quote:
my wife would hang me up by my sack
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so England is "indy"?
Quote:
No, Harrison Ford is Indy. Britain is 'Indie'.
Quote:
From the blog:
"This reminds me of a story I know I'm going to regret telling, but here goes: Quite a few years ago I was passing through New York for some reason or another, and one night I went out bar-hopping with a couple friends. We stumbled out of the last bar around 3am, drunk and giddy, laughing and tripping as we walked back towards our hotel. On the way we passed a porno store, which aside from the occasional pizza place was the only thing open at 3am. I'm not sure why - I think one of my friends wanted to buy a magazine - but we went in, and annoyed the shop's patrons by picking up every ridiculous sex toy and laughing about it loudly. The most absurd thing we found was a large plastic beer can - meant to look like "Coors Light," or something, but much larger - and when you unscrewed the cap at the top, there was a latex vagina inside, that you were meant to stick your dick in and fuck the can. Well, not really "fuck" the can, exactly, but masturbate with it. Same concept as the Japanese ones, but more elaborate. In fact, this is pretty much exactly what it was.

So of course we have to buy the beer can vagina, because we're drunk and it's funny, and we figure we'll find some entertaining unintended use for it. So we paid for it and continued on our merry way back to the hotel. Once there we said our goodbyes and retired to our rooms, and I realized that somehow I'd gotten stuck carrying the bag from the sex store. I set it down on the desk and didn't think much about it. That is, for a few minutes, until I found myself sitting on the bed in my hotel room, drunk and lonely and sexually frustrated, and I kept staring over at that stupid beer can vagina. "Maybe I should just try it. Just see what it feels like..." I mean, why not, right? You know. Just for kicks, right? So you know what? I fucked it. Yeah. I fucked a plastic beer can. I fucked the shit out of that can. And you know what? It felt alright. It did the trick. That is, until it was all over. Until the moment after, when I was hit by a sobering freight train of humility, looking down at my dick stuck inside a latex vagina housed in a plastic beer can. Moments like that you start to question everything - "How the hell did it come to this? Who am I? What am I doing with my life?" I probably sat there for an hour, silently with my plastic lover, pondering my existence.

The next morning, when the subject of the previous night came up and someone said, "oh, where's that funny beer can thing we got? Rob, you had it, right?" And everyone looks at me, and I just stare at them for a moment, and then say, "...I fucked it. I fucked it and I hated myself, and now it's gone." There was a slight pause, followed by uproarious laughter. The ridicule took months to subside."
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Oh no! It's Freud!
Quote:
thank you for specifying that those were mouth noises
Quote:
Quote:
(the average NFL play is seven seconds. I mean, come on, seven seconds and you get to take a break?


So it is like sex!
Quote:
My inner coffee is getting cold.
Quote:
I’m walking home from college today when a van travelling in the opposite direction starts riding up onto the pavement (sidewalk). I think nothing of this because it’s a big asian highstreet and vans are constantly parking on the pavement to make deliveries. But this one doesn’t stop. It keeps on coming at a fair speed, driving down the fucking sidewalk straight towards me so that I have to duck inside a newsagents door to avoid being run over. The van keeps on going for a good ten metres or so down the narrow sidewalk, smashing up a milk crate outside the shop, before coming to a stop, at which point the driver leans out the window and says:

“Why don’t you look where you’re going?”

I stood there utterly dumbfounded for a moment, unsure whether this guy was high or mentally retarded or both, and then, with a snort, he moved back into the road and drove off.

I'm accustomed to nearly being killed by insane drivers, but this was just fucking ridiculous. I now know how the pedestrians in GTA feel.
I’m walking home from college today when a van travelling in the opposite direction starts riding up onto the pavement (sidewalk). I think nothing of this because it’s a big asian highstreet and vans are constantly parking on the pavement to make deliveries. But this one doesn’t stop. It keeps on coming at a fair speed, driving down the fucking sidewalk straight towards me so that I have to duck inside a newsagents door to avoid being run over. The van keeps on going for a good ten metres or so down the narrow sidewalk, smashing up a milk crate outside the shop, before coming to a stop, at which point the driver leans out the window and says:

“Why don’t you look where you’re going?”

I stood there utterly dumbfounded for a moment, unsure whether this guy was high or mentally retarded or both, and then, with a snort, he moved back into the road and drove off.

I'm accustomed to nearly being killed by insane drivers, but this was just fucking ridiculous. I now know how the pedestrians in GTA feel.

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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 9501

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 3:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

saving thus the post.
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Idlethought



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 891
Location: Seattle, WHAAAAAA?!

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

are you gonna post EVERYTHING that was in the old giddy thread?
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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2813
Location: Almost Not Trinity.

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 5:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was. Then I got bored at page 23.
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Froggums



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 384
Location: Coeur d'Alene

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 8:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
While it would be nice to have separate forums for buttsex and politics, seeing as how most threads tend to somehow involve them both, I think tryng to keep them separate is futile.
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Karui_Kage



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 72
Location: Woodinville, WA

PostPosted: Sun Jul 09, 2006 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

o.O
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John Mytton



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 607

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 1:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Quote:
I didn't get a thread. Sheesh.


I guess no one gave a shit.
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John Mytton



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 607

PostPosted: Mon Jul 10, 2006 4:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
Quote:
Halens av makes me feel like a winner


Your posts make me feel like a genius.
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