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A writing exercise
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Major Tom



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 7562

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

the writer has many tools in his or her kit.

it is good to remember that they are not all hammers.
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Willem



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 6306
Location: wasteland style

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Darqcyde wrote:
Willem wrote:
Skimming over your post, only one thing caught my eye: "Ellennara Jokahna Illustremius Fordikinnen Ralastriel Allmartanus IV".

I am not reading your story.


The name is said by a bureaucrat you're supposed to hate. If it's cumbersome, ridiculous and unwieldy then it's doing it's job.


"Jokahana Ralanus Hillford" is the actual name. That's also not good.
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Sam the Eagle



Joined: 02 Oct 2006
Posts: 2275
Location: 192.168.0.1

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Add me to the naysayer list. Both stories strikes me as a mix up of writing styles.

1st story: John Kennedy Toole had unprotected sex with Sartre.

No point in the story, looser hero. Rythm changes too often.

2nd story: Harlequin meets Harry Potter, while Kafka is wanking nearby.

Jokana, seriously?. Is it a comedy, a drama?.
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Arc Tempest



Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 4898
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You know what I love about The Black Company? It's a good fantasy with character names that aren't retarded. Months later I can recall the names of even tertiary characters because they were short, concise, and descriptive.
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