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What the..? When you graduate, son, I'll be a young 80...
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Desire



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 581
Location: AK

PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You can't chose when you'll die. I know a lot of women in their late 80s who are still going storng, but then I've known too many mothers who've died in their 20s and 30s. The 60 years old is more likely to have a solid plan for her child if she does die then younger women will. Besides the fact that it'll have 3 (i think it was 3) grown siblings to help care for it.

*shrugs*

In any case, I wasn't replying on this woman's case specifically. That's why i said I hadn't read the article. I was more replying to the replies the article got.
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Desire



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 6:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Agamemnon wrote:

I don't think that anybody was advocating abortion.


So if you find yourself pregnant (lets assume unexpectedly) after the assumed arbitrary premium age, what choices do you have? Abortion or adoption. Why adopt out a child you would love and be able to care for just because you were older then the ideal? Yet people are saying people shouldn't have children past a certain age, so what option does that really leave?
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Natashabi



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sixty-two is an unnaturally LATE time to be having a baby. The average age for a woman to experience menopause is 51, although it is getting later.

Here

On average, menopause, also known as the "change of life", occurs by the age of 51 and can be confirmed by 12 following months without menstruation.

This woman had to do a lot to even get pregnant.

No one is saying that a later in life pregnancy should be terminated, especially not if it's a NATURAL pregnancy. This, was not natural at all. That ten years makes a huge difference. She may well be fit enough to be a parent and yes, her older kids may be able to take care of their younger half sibling but they shouldn't have to.

I don't think that young "selfish" women should be having kids. I think that a person should be truly ready for everything that having a child entails before they have one. I also think that this couple was being a bit selfish as well, playing god so they can have a child. I have nothing against couples having fertility treatments when they are of a childbearing age, but this woman is over a decade out of it.

Edit: put a paragraph break in the wrong place.
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Agamemnon



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Studying somewhere. Or at least that's where I should be.

PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Desire wrote:
Agamemnon wrote:

I don't think that anybody was advocating abortion.


So if you find yourself pregnant (lets assume unexpectedly) after the assumed arbitrary premium age, what choices do you have? Abortion or adoption. Why adopt out a child you would love and be able to care for just because you were older then the ideal? Yet people are saying people shouldn't have children past a certain age, so what option does that really leave?


Wait, wait, wait. One, no one was saying that she should not have had the kid once pregnant. No one, that I know of, was advocating that this was an accidental pregnancy. I don't know what the record is for having a natural conception, but as far as I know, all pregnancies after the age of 55 require fertility treatments. Regardless of whether or not it's possible to accidentally get pregnant at 62, this lady planned to have a baby at 62 by receiving fertility treatments. This was not an accident. I do think that there is valid criticism for planning to have a baby at such an advanced age.

[edited to correct the age of the lady.]
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OriginalCrazyone



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Smokey Mountains, North Carolina

PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 8:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Not the only reason, but one of the reasons I broke up with my ex and am now with the soon to be mother of my child is related to this issue... looking at my family's health record, the average male in my family doesn't make it much past 65... in my case, it would be cruel to bring a child into this world past 40, and that is pushing it, because I wouldn't want to take away from my children having a full life because they have to take care of me in their teen years as much as I would be taking care ofthem, ifnot moreso because of failing health... I lost alot of my childhood, being an only child of a single parent who had to take care of my grandmother because mom had to work 3 jobs at times to support us... I don't say I regret anything from my childhood, and yes, there was alot of love in the home and my mom and my grandmother were both caring people who took care of me, but there were sacrifices I had to make due to the health of my grandmother and the fact that mom had to struggle to make ends meet... I would not want my children to have to make the same sacrifices in their childhood, so I made the decision long ago that I will not have any children past the age of 35... I am 28 now and getting ready to be a father for the first time, an exciting and scary prospect. I look forward to being there, involved in my childrens lives... I want to be healthy enough to play catch with my children, to be there as a father, and be involved in their lives... to be the scoutmaster if they join scouts and there isn't a troop around, or to volunteer with the troop if there is a good one established... to volunteer as an assistant coach for little league if there is one needed.... to provide for them the things I never had growing up without a father in my life... I don't want to go watch their sports by having to have them push me out there in a wheelchair because of failing health...

if this woman is healthy, I pray she keeps her health for the sake of the child.... but knowing my family health hystory, but for myself, I feel it would be irresponsible to bring a child into this world at a late age...

-OcO-
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Sam



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

There was not a single sentence in that post that was not ended with an ellipsis. You mentioned that the issue relating to your ex is 'related' to this one, but didn't talk about what that actually was. Did she not want you to have children until you were over 35, or what?
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Desire



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe I took some of the replies the wrong way. It's a lot easier to set me off lately. Hormones and such, I suppose. :\

It did honestly seem to me as if people were saying it would be better not to be born to older parents at all then to have older parents though. And I still say that as long as you have parents who love you and are there for you that you are ahead of things. We all have to make sacrifices in one way or another growing up. Having to do without sufficient love has to be by far the worst and most damaging sacrifice a child can face.
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Agamemnon



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Desire wrote:
Maybe I took some of the replies the wrong way. It's a lot easier to set me off lately. Hormones and such, I suppose. :\

I did not want to say it out loud, but this did seem to be my guess. You are not normally so confrontational. No worries. Very Happy

Quote:
It did honestly seem to me as if people were saying it would be better not to be born to older parents at all then to have older parents though. And I still say that as long as you have parents who love you and are there for you that you are ahead of things. We all have to make sacrifices in one way or another growing up. Having to do without sufficient love has to be by far the worst and most damaging sacrifice a child can face.


I won't speak for others who may agree with me or whom I agreed with. I can say that I do not think this is a good idea. Now that it's done, I hope to high heaven that this nice lady in the story and her husband can stay healthy enough to care for this baby.

I think it's a very good that menopause happens. I cringe when drugs and therapy are used to overcome this later in life. We're living longer and longer, so maybe this won't be an issue coming up. *shrug* As of this point, I'm not sure it's a good idea to push the limits of age in bringing a baby into the world.
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OriginalCrazyone



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sam wrote:
There was not a single sentence in that post that was not ended with an ellipsis. You mentioned that the issue relating to your ex is 'related' to this one, but didn't talk about what that actually was. Did she not want you to have children until you were over 35, or what?


I am getting close to 30, as was she, and she wasn't sure if she ever wanted kids, and if she did, she didn't want them till she was done "Playing" at school... she has completed 2 degrees, and began a third degree this year and has no plans to be anything other than a career college student...

there were many other issues, so this wasn't the main issue for parting ways with her...

and leave my ellipses alone! :p I have always used them on online forums and online corespondences, and I always will :p

-OcO-
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Lasairfiona



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PostPosted: Tue Jul 11, 2006 11:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

No, if it is a natural pregnancy there is no need to terminate it but I do think that it was selfish for a person who wants kids that late in life to go through fertility treatments. It presents a lot of potential problems for the kid since the risk of birth defects goes way up. If the coupld really thought they could give a kid a good home, why not adopt? I hope that they live long enough to give the kid a full life but even healthy older parents are still much more fragile than average parents.
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Uncle Taylorbell



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 10:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Desire wrote:
Maybe I took some of the replies the wrong way. It's a lot easier to set me off lately. Hormones and such, I suppose. :\


Agamemnon wrote:
I did not want to say it out loud, but this did seem to be my guess. You are not normally so confrontational. No worries. Very Happy


That was the most hilarious exchange ever.

[desire]Oh, I'm just a lady and I do get ever so flustered, silly woman that I am! *flutterflutter*

[ags]That's okay lovey, now be a good girl and stick the kettle on, eh? Hey, nice buns, too. *nodnodnod*
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Agamemnon



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Uncle Taylorbell wrote:
Desire wrote:
Maybe I took some of the replies the wrong way. It's a lot easier to set me off lately. Hormones and such, I suppose. :\


Agamemnon wrote:
I did not want to say it out loud, but this did seem to be my guess. You are not normally so confrontational. No worries. Very Happy


That was the most hilarious exchange ever.

[desire]Oh, I'm just a lady and I do get ever so flustered, silly woman that I am! *flutterflutter*

[ags]That's okay lovey, now be a good girl and stick the kettle on, eh? Hey, nice buns, too. *nodnodnod*


You're forgetting one important fact, Unca. She's PREGNANT!!!

Having gone through two pregnancies with my wife, abnormal behaviors due to hormonal imbalances are definitely more noticable. That time she grabbed my balls and started to shout...wait, I think this might be getting a bit personal... Embarassed
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Uncle Taylorbell



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 1:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know, I know ... I was just teasin', you blummin' flamin' gallah.
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Agamemnon



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:23 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh, Unca, don't be like that! Show me the trick again where part of your finger disappears.
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Desire



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PostPosted: Wed Jul 12, 2006 2:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hahaha

Im so hormonal anymore, I think Graeme's starting to ovulate just from being around me.









PS But don't tell him, it's my secret plan for us to get rich by him being the first man to get pregnant. Plus, maybe I'll get my daughter. ;p
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