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18 Nov 2012 - Conch Shell
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6564

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Did you understand the part where it's totally horrible to make the base assumption that nobody would want to be friends with a girl if there was no hope of getting laid/a date out of it?

I legitimately cannot tell based on what you said.
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 4:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah pretty much this.
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starkruzr



Joined: 05 Mar 2007
Posts: 125

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 5:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

LarsenSan wrote:
Hey, the friendzone exists. But the problem with it is elongating it. Seriously, when I hear about guys that stay in it so they "might have a chance"... well, that's reaaaaally sad.

To me, the friendzone is the final step: once you get there there's no point of continuing in it. She's not attracted to you, period. Just give it up, being brotherly nice to her won't change it.

The problem is not when it happens once or twice. I think I lost the count about the 12th time or something like that.

... do you have female friends you're not trying to sleep with, or are you a strictly "Harry Met Sally" kinda dude?
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10626
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Imma just gonna repeat myself here:
Darqcyde wrote:
Miss Magenta wrote:
Dude it's a deconstruction of the concept of the friendzone.

Quote:
You know, when Nice Guys™ gripe about how they've been friendzoned and whatever else it is they do when they want to fuck a girl who sees them as just a friend????

It's not even the first time it showed up and you only mention it NOW...??? Are you kitten me, man. 0_0


Actually, it's not the guys' nor the ladies' faults, it's the media. We are bombarded with overly romanticized stories where the main characters get the people they are in love with to ALWAYS fall in love with them. And the person that falls in love with them is always attractive and just perfect and makes them complete *barf*. Rolling Eyes

Girls or guys can be "in the friend zone", but it's really some place they've put themselves. HOWEVER if a guy or girl knows that a person is attracted to them, and they have not made it clear that feelings are not returned, then they (through their inaction and lack of communication) now share responsibility in creating this metaphoric prison. People need to buck up and realize that they will never be more than friends with said person, so they should turn their romantic interest elsewhere. Nothing is more sad nor pitiful than unrequited love.

BUT, the problem is that often times there is never "love" to begin with, merely one-sided infatuation, but many people, usually the young, can't tell the difference. In these cases, I don't think it's healthy for either party, in the long run, to remain friends. Maybe after some time apart, sure, but emotions need to be sorted out and what not.

Also, as I recall it, the whole term friendzone wasn't just about sex. It seems to have been co-opted along the way to mean "will never have sex with". Where that came from was deluded young men (you can switch male and female, it works either way) who had female friends that would date douchebag after douchebag, meanwhile waiting in the wings thinking "After this asshole dumps her, she'll come to me and realize I'm a 'nice guy'" and then be my girlfriend." (the whole 'knight in shining armor thing', again, point a finger at the media) What the young man doesn't realize is that said girl doesn't need a knight in shining armor, she needs to just grow up and stop dating douchebags; the answer to the problem, and the problem itself, do not involve the 'friend zoned guy' at all. As I see it, it's immaturity on both side.

I'm seeing a bunch of anecdotal stories where reality wasn't separated from fiction.
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LarsenSan



Joined: 11 May 2012
Posts: 63

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 11:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

starkruzr wrote:
LarsenSan wrote:
Hey, the friendzone exists. But the problem with it is elongating it. Seriously, when I hear about guys that stay in it so they "might have a chance"... well, that's reaaaaally sad.

To me, the friendzone is the final step: once you get there there's no point of continuing in it. She's not attracted to you, period. Just give it up, being brotherly nice to her won't change it.

The problem is not when it happens once or twice. I think I lost the count about the 12th time or something like that.

... do you have female friends you're not trying to sleep with, or are you a strictly "Harry Met Sally" kinda dude?
I have, thank you. Why do you assume I have tried to hit on every female friend I have? Also, you seem to forgot that the "friendzone" is not just a matter of being friends: it's a situation were the guy becomes the very best friend of the girl hoping (and failing) to be something more.
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katara



Joined: 21 Jun 2012
Posts: 19

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 1:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I admit that I can't talk about the friendzone concept in depth, with all the cultural and language differences, but I am familiar with the term and a lot of people complain about the friendzone without having to go to the extent of being best friends. Best friends is the extreme situation, not the only one. And for what I have experienced and been told, entitlement is also a main characteristic. It's not just "auw, s/he doesn't like me" it's "dammit I've done all of this for this person why am I not getting back what I deserve, who does s/he think s/he is?"
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Mystchevious



Joined: 06 Aug 2012
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Monkey Mcdermott wrote:
So...who fucking asked you?

You agree with them so in your eyes they're being unfairly shot down.
What makes you different from every other douchebag who signed up about the same time as you to whine about any hints of feminist thought in the comic?

Your complaints and ill-informed opinions have been noted, I hope you feel better getting that off your chest. Please be assured no action will be taken on your suggestions though.


If I ever thought that changing the opinion of someone on the internet was even a viable option I should be committed. However, after reading your hate mongering I had to, as you put it, get something off my chest. And I do feel better thanks for your feigned empathy. I certainly hope it didn't take too much out of you.

As far as what makes me different? I have no problem saying that modern day feminists are more often than not full of BS. I've read the literature just trying to understand where they came from when the movement started and most of it is completely justified. However, it's like modern day feminists read the feminine mystique and decided that they wanted the whole world handed to them on a God damned platter. It's the same mentality that several minorities groups have when referring to slavery. I'm not asking for 40 acres and a mule. I don't want women barefoot and naked in the kitchen. I do want the unfair persecution of all people to end and I'm tired of people jumping onto a bandwagon with preconceptions about how entitled they are. Oh there is that word.

As far as me being misinformed. Check again. Is it really that I have no clue what's going on or have you selected a small sample group to justify your opinion? There are countless movies, books, real life examples where the "Friendzone" is used.

So don't worry about acting on my comments, hell if you took the time to read the whole thing I'd be surprised. I know your bias colors your opinion.
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 6114
Location: California

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 6:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

clearly you have not understood that literature if you think it's "persecution" and "minority whining," or if asking for things like not being sexually harassed and treated as sex machines into which kindness coins are dropped is "asking for the whole world on a goddamned platter"

the only one doing any persecuting here is you
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Succubus1982



Joined: 07 Oct 2009
Posts: 919
Location: England

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

katara wrote:
It's not just "auw, s/he doesn't like me" it's "dammit I've done all of this for this person why am I not getting back what I deserve, who does s/he think s/he is?"


I was always raised you don't give to recieve and if people shit all over you that's life and you should just suck it up and deal. But then my mother is very cynical and jaded about life in general. And people wonder why I'm depressed! 16 years of being raised with that!
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10889
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find it interesting that Mystchevious thinks opposing feminism makes him different. Not like all of the feminist guys that are the clear majority, amirite?!
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Guest



Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 2178

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ShadowCell wrote:
clearly you have not understood that literature if you think it's "persecution" and "minority whining," or if asking for things like not being sexually harassed and treated as sex machines into which kindness coins are dropped is "asking for the whole world on a goddamned platter"

the only one doing any persecuting here is you


I'll just leave this here:

http://kateharding.net/2009/10/08/guest-blogger-starling-schrodinger%E2%80%99s-rapist-or-a-guy%E2%80%99s-guide-to-approaching-strange-women-without-being-maced/
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 6114
Location: California

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 7:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

great article, thanks!
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3333

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mystchevious wrote:


If I ever thought that changing the opinion of someone on the internet was even a viable option I should be committed. However, after reading your hate mongering I had to, as you put it, get something off my chest. And I do feel better thanks for your feigned empathy. I certainly hope it didn't take too much out of you.


Hahahah, claiming that there's no excuse for whining about being put in the friend zone, and that no one has a right to drop kindness coins into a woman and get sex is hate-mongering? Or is it pointing out that Guest routinely engages in arguments he's completely uneducated in and defends factually incorrect stances to the death that is hate mongering?
Mystchevious wrote:

As far as what makes me different? I have no problem saying that modern day feminists are more often than not full of BS. I've read the literature just trying to understand where they came from when the movement started and most of it is completely justified. However, it's like modern day feminists read the feminine mystique and decided that they wanted the whole world handed to them on a God damned platter. It's the same mentality that several minorities groups have when referring to slavery. I'm not asking for 40 acres and a mule. I don't want women barefoot and naked in the kitchen. I do want the unfair persecution of all people to end and I'm tired of people jumping onto a bandwagon with preconceptions about how entitled they are. Oh there is that word.

White male privilege seeps from this paragraph like sap from a freshly tapped Vermont Maple.

What's funny is that this is going to turn out to be an almost exact repeat of the earlier summer invasion of the shitbags. You're spouting almost the exact same line, and you're going to be made a fool of just the same as them, though I'm sure you'll eventually end up stomping off in a huff...just...like...them.

Mystchevious wrote:

As far as me being misinformed. Check again. Is it really that I have no clue what's going on or have you selected a small sample group to justify your opinion? There are countless movies, books, real life examples where the "Friendzone" is used.

So don't worry about acting on my comments, hell if you took the time to read the whole thing I'd be surprised. I know your bias colors your opinion.


Yeah, I'm biased against chauvinistic shitheads.
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Guest



Joined: 15 Aug 2006
Posts: 2178

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

ShadowCell wrote:
great article, thanks!


Right?!

Tugs at your heartstrings. The way she must feel walking the street, it must be hell. The stress of knowing so many men walking on the same sidewalk as her almost every day and they don't even have the decency to walk to the other side to make her feel safer.

The poor dear. Beasts! The lot of them. Why if I had half the mind I do now, I'd check my privilege and show those ignoramuses just how it is in the life of Phaedra Starling (Phaedra, of course, being a woman of greek myth who accused a man who wouldn't requite her love of raping her, writing a letter to her husband, the king of Athens, who subsequently killed him [in numerous ways, depending on the version])! She's so brave.
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3333

PostPosted: Thu Nov 22, 2012 8:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Guest wrote:
ShadowCell wrote:
great article, thanks!


Right?!

Tugs at your heartstrings. The way she must feel walking the street, it must be hell. The stress of knowing so many men walking on the same sidewalk as her almost every day and they don't even have the decency to walk to the other side to make her feel safer.

The poor dear. Beasts! The lot of them. Why if I had half the mind I do now, I'd check my privilege and show those ignoramuses just how it is in the life of Phaedra Starling (Phaedra, of course, being a woman of greek myth who accused a man who wouldn't requite her love of raping her, writing a letter to her husband, the king of Athens, who subsequently killed him [in numerous ways, depending on the version])! She's so brave.


Or yknow, its an opinion piece on a blog exaggerated for effect in an effort to make people like you put yourself in other...less privileged peoples shoes for just half a second before running off at the mouth or taking some of the actions listed.
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