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Dennis J. Squidbunny
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3586
Location: AUSTRALIA YOU FAKIR
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 Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 9:18 pm Post subject: |
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| You're a weird guy, Thy. |
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fritterdonut
Joined: 24 Jul 2012
Posts: 676
Location: Hedonism
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| Posted: Fri Dec 21, 2012 10:50 pm Post subject: |
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| Samsally wrote: | That tumblr makes me extremely uncomfortable for a lot of reasons.
Like okay, so instant knee-jerk reaction was vague horror that there really are that many Nice Guys out there. But I'm also not okay with the whole taking people's pictures and making fun of them on a different part of the internet without their knowledge or consent aspect.
Plus at some point the phrase "So this is the face of rape culture" floated through my head and now it won't go away. I feel bad for that. Like, these guys don't know any better, most likely. If someone took the time to parse things out and really explain it they might realize how harmful their mentality is (for themselves AND others, ultimately).
Or I don't know, some of them probably wouldn't, because it really is so much easier to absolve yourself of all blame by painting yourself the victim.
I'd like to think at least a few would listen to reason, though. |
Very much this. Shaming people rarely helps anything, and if anything would make the person being shamed less receptive to suggestions on how to be less "good-guyish" and more of a decent human being.
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Monkey Mcdermott
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 2785
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 12:29 am Post subject: |
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| fritterdonut wrote: | | Samsally wrote: | That tumblr makes me extremely uncomfortable for a lot of reasons.
Like okay, so instant knee-jerk reaction was vague horror that there really are that many Nice Guys out there. But I'm also not okay with the whole taking people's pictures and making fun of them on a different part of the internet without their knowledge or consent aspect.
Plus at some point the phrase "So this is the face of rape culture" floated through my head and now it won't go away. I feel bad for that. Like, these guys don't know any better, most likely. If someone took the time to parse things out and really explain it they might realize how harmful their mentality is (for themselves AND others, ultimately).
Or I don't know, some of them probably wouldn't, because it really is so much easier to absolve yourself of all blame by painting yourself the victim.
I'd like to think at least a few would listen to reason, though. |
Very much this. Shaming people rarely helps anything, and if anything would make the person being shamed less receptive to suggestions on how to be less "good-guyish" and more of a decent human being. |
Back this up, from where I sit, shame and societal disapproval have been far more effective tactics for modifying human behavior than reasoned debate has ever been.
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Sam
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 8887
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 1:36 am Post subject: |
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in many ways yeah but tumblr-style social justice warrior culture is just going flat out fucking insane and beginning severe intersectionality rifts on account of it. it's gotten so dogmatic that they are mirroring the development and subsequent marginalization of the radfems
why for instance let us mock fedora users, obv with the hopes of shaming other men into not wearing fedoras ever because LOOK WHO DOES
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/
http://foreveralonefedoras.tumblr.com/
yeehaw? |
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Monkey Mcdermott
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 2785
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 2:20 am Post subject: |
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| Sam wrote: | in many ways yeah but tumblr-style social justice warrior culture is just going flat out fucking insane and beginning severe intersectionality rifts on account of it. it's gotten so dogmatic that they are mirroring the development and subsequent marginalization of the radfems
why for instance let us mock fedora users, obv with the hopes of shaming other men into not wearing fedoras ever because LOOK WHO DOES
http://fedorasofokc.tumblr.com/
http://foreveralonefedoras.tumblr.com/
yeehaw? |
Nah I hear you as regards the route this particular example. I just had to pick the nit that shaming people never helps. Shame is a huge modifier to behavior in id say most of human society. The question of where, how much and what behavior exactly should be subject to shame is one for deeper thinkers than me.
You can put me into the column that thinks friendzone whining deserves it a lot more than it deserves understanding and sympathy though.
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Thy Brilliance
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3254
Location: Relative
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 3:22 am Post subject: |
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| Dennis J. Squidbunny wrote: | | You're a weird guy, Thy. |
This might be a stupid question, but which part was weird?
Should I have not given her money upon finding out that she was addicted to drugs? |
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Samsally
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 5442
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 5:23 am Post subject: |
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Monkey: I really do want to give people the benefit of the doubt. Even when the "friendzone" has vilified me more than once. I wanna be better than that. It's... not easy. Especially reading through those posts. Like I said, the whole thing makes me deeply uncomfortable.
Thy: The whole story was a bit of a non sequitur. I couldn't follow it's relation to dudes complaining of the friendzone.
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Mr Gary
Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 6178
Location: Some pub in England
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 5:32 am Post subject: |
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The 'friendzone'? That place guys think they are sent to when they never had anything to add to another persons life? Fuck everyone in there. They deserved it.
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Mr Gary
Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 6178
Location: Some pub in England
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 5:35 am Post subject: |
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No guy who is in the 'friendzone' ever wanted to be friends with the ugly / fat / undesirable chick.
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nathan
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6273
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 7:13 am Post subject: |
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Stephen Hawking is shedding a single, unnoticed tear.
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Dennis J. Squidbunny
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3586
Location: AUSTRALIA YOU FAKIR
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 10:36 am Post subject: |
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| Thy Brilliance wrote: | | Dennis J. Squidbunny wrote: | | You're a weird guy, Thy. |
This might be a stupid question, but which part was weird?
Should I have not given her money upon finding out that she was addicted to drugs? |
Samsally is on point that it was a pretty major non-sequitor. I was sort of waiting for a punchline where after crying on your shoulder all night the homeless woman put you in the friendzone.
Also, you saying you just watched and observed -- I'm picturing the image of you watching a homeless woman with a mouthful of food bawling her eyes out and you tilting back in your chair and holding your chin and watching her, for like maybe an hour. I wonder what the waitstaff were doing!
Also, yes, I question giving one hundred dollars to someone addicted to heroin. I mean, maybe it means she'll be safer -- get new fits instead of using old ones, splash out and buy drugs from someone less sketchy than usual, but yeah. A hundred bucks isn't going to give someone a new start. Spending a hundred bucks on her, on more food and warm clothes, or renting her a few nights in a women's shelter I can see, but just dropping a hundred bucks on her doesn't come across as overly responsible.
But yeah, mostly it's just because it was such a massive non-sequitor. What does that have to do with anything anyone is talking about?
Are you a better person than me because I enjoy giggling at the schadenfraude of the alleged men and their complete lack of self awareness, and you take a homeless women to dinner to watch her because she said she'd blow up the world if she had a button?
To indulge in your weird bragging though, why did you take her to dinner? To feel better? To feel like you were doing something good? I also have spent a lot of time talking and drinking with the homeless and disadvantaged and addicted and lost, and a lot of time observing, but usually from slightly further away than the other side of the dinner table. I mean... what the fuck are we even talking about here, Thy? |
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Thy Brilliance
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3254
Location: Relative
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 5:37 pm Post subject: |
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Oh..
That story just provides a context/story as to why I think no one is nice in this world.
Meaning there is no reason anyone should consider themselves nice.
Meaning there is no such thing as a nice guy.
The men pictured are just bitter about the fact that they are loveless after foolishly following conventions taught by "every movie ever" about love.
Also I tried my best not to brag, sorry bout that. |
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Dennis J. Squidbunny
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3586
Location: AUSTRALIA YOU FAKIR
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| Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:11 pm Post subject: |
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| Ah! Now it makes sense. Thanks, buddy. |
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Darqcyde
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 9136
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 12:13 am Post subject: |
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Sometimes, we fail more than others as human beings:
http://news.yahoo.com/india-police-water-cannon-tear-gas-gang-rape-105338680.html
India police use water cannon, tear gas as gang-rape protests intensify
By Mayank Bhardwaj | Reuters – 8 hrs ago
| Quote: | NEW DELHI (Reuters) - Indian police used batons, tear gas and water cannon to turn back thousands of people marching on the presidential palace on Saturday in intensifying protests against the gang-rape of a woman on the streets and on social media.
The 23-year-old victim is battling for her life in hospital after she was beaten, raped for almost an hour and thrown out of a moving bus on a busy New Delhi street last Sunday. Five people have been arrested.
The protesters, largely college students, are demanding the death penalty for the accused and safety assurances for women.
New Delhi, home to about 16 million people, has the highest number of sex crimes among India's major cities. Police figures show a rape is reported on average every 18 hours and some other form of sexual attack every 14 hours.
Appealing for calm, India's junior minister for home affairs, R.P.N. Singh, said the government had listened to the protesters.
"We have assured on the floor of the house and on every platform possible that strictest action will be taken against the accused. The police have been asked to show restraint but I want to tell boys and girls that breaking barriers will not help," Singh said.
But the protests are growing amid widespread media coverage.
"If Rahul Gandhi claims to be a youth icon then he should have been here, talking to protesters and taking up the issue of women's safety," one protester said.
Gandhi, the 42-year-old scion of the Nehru-Gandhi dynasty that has ruled India for most of its 65 years of independence, is widely seen as a future prime minister.
Marches, demonstrations and candlelight vigils have spread during the week to cities in states from the north of the country to the south.
In the northeastern state of Assam, hundreds of women and girls marched through the city of Guwahati on Friday, carrying placards and shouting "Hang Rapists" and "Stop Violence Against Women".
(Additional reporting by Anuja Jairam; Editing by Nick Macfie) |
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Dogen
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 9515
Location: Bellingham, WA
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| Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:24 am Post subject: |
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In Iowa you're too sexy for your job, too sexy for your job, job's going to leave you.
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