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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 17175
Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Mon Jan 07, 2013 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i will third the poisoner's handbook - fascinating picture of the early days of not only only criminal forensics, but what could be considered consumer protection. and i always love reading about hard-working scientists, and the things they do to try to get answers.

still working on henrietta lacks, but it is a fascinating subject, and a lot to think about in terms of medical ethics.

right now, the non-fiction book i seem to be reading is one about sea monsters (seriously!), but it's a bit old. also, samsally provoked me into finding a copy of the unfashionable human body. why do i have to spend so much time doing things like work, instead of getting to spend all my time reading?
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10224
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 11:16 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

WheelsOfConfusion wrote:
I haven't read the book, but I've known about Henrietta Lacks and her (in)famous HeLa cells for years. Utterly fascinating phenomenon by itself, but I only know bits and pieces of the social context.


Same boat.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10682

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm on a bus towards that boat
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 6052
Location: California

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 5:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

they gave that book out to the entire transfer class when i first transferred to UCLA in fall 2011, in hopes that we'd all read it together and share our brilliant insights about it

i don't know of anyone who so much as opened it

in our defense we had books that needed reading more urgently
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10713
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Tue Jan 08, 2013 7:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

When I transferred schools they gave everyone a copy of "The Battle Over the Meaning of Everything." It was really good. I didn't know giving away books was a college thing, though.

You should read it now. All the cool kids have already done it.
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Usagi Miyamoto



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2225
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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2013 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I didn't care for The Immortal Life of Henrietta Lacks. It was an interesting story, but it made me sad and annoyed. Then again, the same was true of The Life of Pi, and I didn't care for that either.

I'm currently reading something that is directly applicable to Vox' situation: How Children Succeed, by Paul Tough. I'm only about 40 pages in, but it's a though-provoking read so far, with a big thumbs-up for the positive lifetime effects an attachment parenting style. There's more, but I haven't gotten to it yet.
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jwing



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 4:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

How can I help my youngest fight depression?
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10713
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 9:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

What are we talking about? General grumpiness, malaise, or "doesn't want to get out of bed or eat?" Does it come and go? Is it in response to something that happened?

If she's depressed over something specific, then time and emotional support will usually make her right as rain. Just encourage her to maintain social contacts, as time spent in rumination tends to increase feelings of depression (here's a whole book on the relationship).

If this is an issue she's been dealing with for a while, take her to see someone who specializes in working with kids. Seattle has one of the best clinical psychology programs in the country, and an excellent medical school, so finding someone shouldn't be hard. Go to several until you find one that she and you guys both like. That's always the best advice.

There are also things you can do physiologically in general to support her emotionally. Is she involved in any sports? Human brains work better when they get regular exercise. Exercise helps the body release emotional tension and also causes the release of mood-elevating hormones. It typically involves social contact, which in non-clinical depression is also an effective treatment. Make sure she's getting enough water, as dehydration is linked to degradation in concentration and mood, and not taking in too much caffeine (which can increase feelings of anxiety). Also, make sure she's getting plenty of sleep (which may go back to cutting out caffeine). Sleep is tied closely to mood stability (2), and people who get more sleep tend to be more healthy, both emotionally and physically.
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Vox Raucus



Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 1261
Location: At the Hundredth Meridian

PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*thumbs up for Dogen's answer*

Usagi Miyamoto wrote:
I'm currently reading something that is directly applicable to Vox' situation: How Children Succeed, by Paul Tough. I'm only about 40 pages in, but it's a though-provoking read so far, with a big thumbs-up for the positive lifetime effects an attachment parenting style. There's more, but I haven't gotten to it yet.

I have several close friends who are devoted to attachment style parenting and their kids are terrible. Ironically, they are the least confident and socially adjusted kids I know. I don't know if they're doing it wrong or what, but it doesn't inspire confidence in the method. Also, the parents have almost completely lost a sense of self-identity - their entire lives revolve around nothing but their kids. They won't go out and they don't see their friends.

While I'm certainly willing to give it a read, I've been soured on attachment parenting from what I've seen. In my view, parenting is pretty simple - you do everything you can to let your kids know that you love them no matter what, you model the kind of behaviour you want them to emulate, and encourage and foster creativity and learning. Pretty straightforward.

EDIT - Update on what I'm reading. I'm a hundred pages into "Thinking, Fast and Slow" and loving it. Brilliant recommendation! It's already changing how I interact with my coworkers.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 9:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know what "attachment style parenting" is, but in developmental psychology they describe different types of attachment. Secure attachment correlates with the most positive psychosocial development.
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jwing



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 10:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks. Wing2 has decided that she should have been a he, and I'm sturggling to keep the pronouns correctly. Even as they change, I'm still talking about wing2.

She was diagnosed with depression several years ago. Six months of therapy only didn't help, so we added meds. We've had to adjust his dosage a couple of times. He improved to the point where her therapist and he decided he was good to go. Then the meds weren't working as well; we adjusted again. Then he started wearing a bc patch to stop her periods and things got moody again. Doctor determined it wasn't the bc but was SAD. We got him a light therapy lamp and sleeping pills to fight the insomnia. He also got a new mattress (she's been sleeping very well ever since, but the thought of self-harm and suicide haven't stopped)

He has an appointment this week with a therapist to help with the transition, but I'm going to ask for recommendations for another one. This current one isn't working for me, and apparently wing2 knows more about the whole transition process than the therapist does. I am encouraging him to do fun things with friends, but she keeps sabotaging their outings and saying that she's grown apart from them, they hate him, and just won't try.

As for the exercise, I will try doing stuff with him when I get home from work. He's a couple of months shy of being able to go to the weight room at the gym I teach at, but we can go walking or bowling or something together. I'm also thinking of just inviting her friends over to play kinect.

He's drinking more water lately, which is a good sign.

I'm just at my wit's end. Every time I relax, thinking things have improved, I get a text or email from him saying he wants to kill himself or go somewhere to die where he won't be a burden on anyone, and the whole process starts over again. I have to spend a lot of time getting her to relax and ignore that lying voice in his head that tells her she's ugly and useless and a failure and a monster, without overstepping my bounds and having him shut me out. I contemplate quitting my job so there's someone there when he gets home from school (I can't have wing1 babysit all the time); I text her obsessively until he assures me she won't kill himself. I point out positive things every time they happen. Eventually, he starts smiling more and having good days. He'll cuddle me on the couch. She'll let me watch her draw. More often than not, her friends will be over when GeekBoy and I get home from work. Then something happens (or doesn't happen) and *bam* back to square one. It's like one step forward, five steps back.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 12, 2013 11:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That's a lot to handle. Adolescence is difficult for the best of us, and wing2 has a lot of added stress from his situation. You definitely need a professional who understands the specific needs of wing2, someone you're both comfortable with and in whom you both trust. Most therapists won't be offended by having you come in for a trial run. The therapeutic alliance depends on your being able to work together, and that involves a certain amount of compatibility. They know this.

Routines are pivotal for a lot of mental health concerns. With regards to both exercise and sleep, try to make them consistent. Try to make exercise a part of whatever routine you guys have. Getting 30-60 minutes of good exercise in every day may help even out his moods (though it's not a panacea). It can be organized sports, a bike ride after school, swimming, whatever, but an exhausted child is generally a happier child (this goes for adults, too).

You might also see if there's a group in the area that supports transgendered people and their families. In the progressive metropolis of Seattle I bet there is. It may help wing2 to have people who can sympathize with what he's going through, and who can act as role models. Like the "it gets better" campaign for gay youth, having people who have been through what he's going through may help him cope. I imagine he probably feels insanely isolated from his peers at times, struggling with issues neither they nor you can understand.

Best of luck, jwing.
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eureka00



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1994
Location: Pretzel City

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 4:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Quote:
You might also see if there's a group in the area that supports transgendered people and their families. In the progressive metropolis of Seattle I bet there is. It may help wing2 to have people who can sympathize with what he's going through, and who can act as role models. Like the "it gets better" campaign for gay youth, having people who have been through what he's going through may help him cope. I imagine he probably feels insanely isolated from his peers at times, struggling with issues neither they nor you can understand.

^
I would think talking to someone who has been through a similar situation would be beneficial, but I'm certainly no expert either. I can't even imagine how hard this is on you, jwing. :/
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zeezee



Joined: 08 Jul 2007
Posts: 4409
Location: saint louis

PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

from google: seattle transgender therapist

hope this helps! my heart goes out to you, jwing...
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jwing



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Jan 13, 2013 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We're going to Lambert House tomorrow night for a meeting for transgendered kids. I hope that will help wing2. However, I have always maintained that no matter what gender my child is, there is something inside that will make her unhappy with who he is. He could transform her body into the perfect ideal, but the underlying bit will always feel wrong to him. I want to focus on that first, so she can be happy whoever she is, but a lot of the time, my caution is viewed as lack of support and blocking his path to happiness.

Thank you, everyone. zeezee, I'm calling tomorrow to see if there's a therapist available in my insurance network. Thanks for the list.

Depression is a bitch and the lyingest liar that ever lied and I want it to leave my child now.
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