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2013-03-30 Are you blind?
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6072

PostPosted: Mon Apr 01, 2013 4:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mercian wrote:
And you don't need a reason - you are who you are. Just cause you got a garage, doesn't mean you need a car...

Assuming you have a...

Never mind. This is the worst metaphor ever, and my only excuse is that I've been driving all night, and...really driving. Not metaphorical driving...

Shutting up, now.

Hahahaha, okay this had me almost snort coffee out my nose at work. Thanks for the chuckle! Also, thanks for the sentiment behind it. Very Happy

ktern wrote:
Samsally wrote:
I just need to somehow integrate it into my head that I'm really not the only person in the world with almost no libido. It's... stupidly hard to imagine. Stupid because sheer numbers and statistics say otherwise, but hard because lived experiences pretty much tell me I'm a huge freak.


an ex of mine was like that. sadly, i didn't handle it very well because that was back in high school

Everybody does stupid shit in high school. It's part of growing up. The important part is being able to reflect back on it, acknowledge it was wrong, and not do it again. Very Happy

stripeypants wrote:
Many guys have decided I was a lesbian, so they would say, "You just need to give men a chance." Meaning the bearer of that message, naturally.

Some guy's attitudes towards lesbians (or even perceived lesbians, in your case) is truly sad. The amount I don't understand the mentality behind that kind of behavior could fill a stadium. I don't often see it personally, but I've had enough friends tell me about it that I'm just like "oh my god, what."
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Samsally the GrayAce
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Mercian



Joined: 27 Feb 2013
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 9:49 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samsally wrote:

Some guy's attitudes towards lesbians (or even perceived lesbians, in your case) is truly sad. The amount I don't understand the mentality behind that kind of behavior could fill a stadium. I don't often see it personally, but I've had enough friends tell me about it that I'm just like "oh my god, what."


Ha - I remember going to talk to people on a 'combating homophobia' course for work (representing for the gayfolk yo) and there were two guys who had just come out of the army and were retraining to help run a young offenders home. And part way through the talk, one of them put a hand up and asked, completely seriously "if you like butch women with short hair, why don't you just look for a man instead?"

Well, I laughed so hard my nipples almost exploded right off my chest.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6072

PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 10:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

UUUGH. As a woman who once sported 'butch' hair can I just bang my head against the wall a little?

I'm glad you got a laugh out of it, because it probably woulda just pissed me off, lol.
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 16633
Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

well, at least they are _trying_ to understand.

probably best if their buddies don't find out that they think men are just like butch women with short hair, though.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
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PostPosted: Tue Apr 02, 2013 11:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Best question ever: "But what can women do for each other?"
- asked by a straight, married female coworker, inquiring about the sex lives of lesbians.

Yes. What could they do indeed.

I hear they can make waffles in the morning.
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khan



Joined: 10 Feb 2013
Posts: 77

PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mercian wrote:
Samsally wrote:

Some guy's attitudes towards lesbians (or even perceived lesbians, in your case) is truly sad. The amount I don't understand the mentality behind that kind of behavior could fill a stadium. I don't often see it personally, but I've had enough friends tell me about it that I'm just like "oh my god, what."


Ha - I remember going to talk to people on a 'combating homophobia' course for work (representing for the gayfolk yo) and there were two guys who had just come out of the army and were retraining to help run a young offenders home. And part way through the talk, one of them put a hand up and asked, completely seriously "if you like butch women with short hair, why don't you just look for a man instead?"

Well, I laughed so hard my nipples almost exploded right off my chest.


If you want an actual answer they might understand, try explaining that men lack the body parts you are seeking. Even homophobic men might accept that you like boobs and a vag, to be vulgar.
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Mercian



Joined: 27 Feb 2013
Posts: 86

PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samsally wrote:
UUUGH. As a woman who once sported 'butch' hair can I just bang my head against the wall a little?

I'm glad you got a laugh out of it, because it probably woulda just pissed me off, lol.


I think I'd have ripped him a new one if I thought he was trying to be obnoxious, but he was genuinely perplexed. I had to walk him very gently through the idea that I was no different than him (well, I have better tits), and that my personal concept of attractiveness was just as individual to me as his was to him. He did stick around after the session and say thanks for opening his eyes, because he'd 'never spoken to a lesbian before'.

So I smiled and asked him how he knew.

mouse wrote:
well, at least they are _trying_ to understand.

probably best if their buddies don't find out that they think men are just like butch women with short hair, though.


I had to cut them some slack - they'd voluntarily come to the session to learn more about homophobia so they could support the young LGBT people in their custody, so as you say, at least they were trying. A bit clueless, but trying.

stripeypants wrote:
Best question ever: "But what can women do for each other?"
- asked by a straight, married female coworker, inquiring about the sex lives of lesbians.

Yes. What could they do indeed.

I hear they can make waffles in the morning.


Oh yes - that came up at the session, too! "How do lesbians have sex?"

I told them "Magnets", and left it at that.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6072

PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh I suppose, it is easier to not be upset when they aren't being condescending.

I can tell, though, as I get older I get less and less tolerant of ignorance. I should probably work on that.
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 12:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

it's always important to distinguish between ignorance and determined stupidity. every one starts out ignorant; anyone who tries to change that should be encouraged.

those who refuse to change that are the determinedly stupid; those, you don't need to tolerate.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Apr 03, 2013 1:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I find I become more tolerant, though I'm not always successful with calmly explaining. I can manage if I'm expecting it, but when it comes out of nowhere, I get thrown off.
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