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A Respectful Conversation about Rape Culture
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Finnegan



Joined: 01 May 2007
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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know for a fact that I still have my tenderheart bear and funshine bear stuff animals, as well as my pretty bit popple and butterbear wuzzle.

...and it's only right now that I realize how many "girly" toys I had growing up, especially when you add in the rainbow brite figures. and to be honest I'm pretty far from the poster child of growing up to be a manly man despite having feminine toys but just the idea that men have to be "manly" is a big part of the problem. I also used to routinely sneak out the the house during rainstorms to play with my tonka trucks in the mud pit that would form at the edge of our yard. toys and books are supposed to be fun for kids, that's really all that's important about which ones that they choose: that they enjoy them.
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DeD CHiKn



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The Carebears in the Land with Feelings scared me, because of these guys.



They were once children who stopped caring.
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Finnegan



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 6:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I was creeped out by the evil book from the movie.


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Finnegan



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 8:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yinello wrote:
Finnegan wrote:
Legitimate Rape Pharmaceutical Ad


Definitely trigger warning here, but humorous nonetheless.


yeah, sorry, I am working on trying to be more aware of things like this.
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Last edited by Finnegan on Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:00 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Yinello



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We're all here to learn. :3
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Sam



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PostPosted: Mon Apr 29, 2013 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i'm not
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Mini J



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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 7:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finnegan wrote:
I know for a fact that I still have my tenderheart bear and funshine bear stuff animals, as well as my pretty bit popple and butterbear wuzzle.


I still have my Bedtime Bear at home, though sadly his head tore most of the way off (NB: Don't pull on them when they're stuck under something heavy.)

In a side note, No-Heart (below) gave me the heebie-jeebies, and strongly resembles my mental image of Lord Voldemort.


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Finnegan



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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

so, I think what we can all take away from this respectful conversation we've been having about rape culture is that the care bears had some creepy ass villains for a kids show.
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Felgraf



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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 9:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finnegan wrote:
so, I think what we can all take away from this respectful conversation we've been having about rape culture is that the care bears had some creepy ass villains for a kids show.


When you think about it, a LOT of shows from that era had dark, dark themes.

I mean, in the Transformers Movie, Optimus Prime DIED. And there wasn't any of this "AND HE COMES BACK FROM THE DEAD", I don't think? (I was not a transformers person, I admit, it is just something I have been made aware of.)

Heck, even in the 90's, there was some heavy, heavy stuff. Like Dinobot sacrificing himself in Beast Wars.

We should make an Old TV Show Nostalgia Thread now, shouldn't we.
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Finnegan



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PostPosted: Wed May 01, 2013 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure that most of the internet (the part that isn't pron, anyway) is essentially one big nostalgia thread.

but, yeah, I could get behind that.
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DeD CHiKn



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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 10:21 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finnegan wrote:
I was creeped out by the evil book from the movie.


Don't forget the spiteful multi-headed street lamp thingie.

That whole movie was terrifying. Then again, I was a fragile child.
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TIAB



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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 9:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I grew up in a religious family, one that strongly encouraged abstinence before marriage. I think there is a strong correlation between that practice and developing some serious fucked up ideas about sex. I don't fault the practice itself but rather the complete lack of discussion about sexual impulses and expression and a total absense of explanation of why abstinence is encouraged. Even for the devout, "Because God said so" resolves as much emotional conflict as "Cuz." At best we might get offered the explanation that you don't want to have kids too early, but that just justifies contraception or other forms of sexual intimacy; it fails as an argument for abstinence.

So a young person is left with this obligation to be abstinent and no emotional understanding of sex at all and this overwhelming perception that premarital sex is evil. So their sexual desires must also be evil, right? That's the only conclusion they are left with, leaving them to feel ashamed of their sexual desires which only perverts their ideas about sex further. This leads down a long and twisted road of rationalizations and feelings of "forbidden fruit" towards anything remotely sexual. In this mental place, reason is virtually absent and anything is justifiable because they no longer identify with their sexual impulses. Those are just evil and that's not who they really are, so personal responsibility is gone.

When I finally got married, it was an ongoing and brutal process to break down all of the bullshit walls I had built for myself as a defense against sex. I look back at all of it and realize just how unnecessary it was to build up all of that in the first place. I mean, if anyone had talked to me about the emotional connection that can take place through having sex, the trust that's required to let someone in that close to you, physically and emotionally, about what sex means to your partner or other people and that the impulses are natural and mean nothing other than impulses, I would have had a healthy attitude about sex overall and could have reasonably dealt with being abstinent. But as a rule, that's not how religion is taught.
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mouse



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PostPosted: Thu May 02, 2013 11:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Finnegan wrote:
so, I think what we can all take away from this respectful conversation we've been having about rape culture is that the care bears had some creepy ass villains for a kids show.


actually, the bears themselves turn out to be pretty creepy, when you really think about it.
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Black Kitty



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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 4:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So far, dating advice I've gleaned from this article. Don't. Hire a prostitute. And if you want to be 100% sure that you won't be paying child support, stick it in her butt. Because sex is about your gratification, after all, and emotional connection is for losers who won't get anywhere in life.

The 20 Mistakes You Don't Want to Make in Your 20s.
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Finnegan



Joined: 01 May 2007
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PostPosted: Fri May 03, 2013 4:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

TIAB wrote:
I grew up in a religious family, one that strongly encouraged abstinence before marriage. I think there is a strong correlation between that practice and developing some serious fucked up ideas about sex. I don't fault the practice itself but rather the complete lack of discussion about sexual impulses and expression and a total absense of explanation of why abstinence is encouraged. Even for the devout, "Because God said so" resolves as much emotional conflict as "Cuz." At best we might get offered the explanation that you don't want to have kids too early, but that just justifies contraception or other forms of sexual intimacy; it fails as an argument for abstinence.

So a young person is left with this obligation to be abstinent and no emotional understanding of sex at all and this overwhelming perception that premarital sex is evil. So their sexual desires must also be evil, right? That's the only conclusion they are left with, leaving them to feel ashamed of their sexual desires which only perverts their ideas about sex further. This leads down a long and twisted road of rationalizations and feelings of "forbidden fruit" towards anything remotely sexual. In this mental place, reason is virtually absent and anything is justifiable because they no longer identify with their sexual impulses. Those are just evil and that's not who they really are, so personal responsibility is gone.

When I finally got married, it was an ongoing and brutal process to break down all of the bullshit walls I had built for myself as a defense against sex. I look back at all of it and realize just how unnecessary it was to build up all of that in the first place. I mean, if anyone had talked to me about the emotional connection that can take place through having sex, the trust that's required to let someone in that close to you, physically and emotionally, about what sex means to your partner or other people and that the impulses are natural and mean nothing other than impulses, I would have had a healthy attitude about sex overall and could have reasonably dealt with being abstinent. But as a rule, that's not how religion is taught.


I was raised in a strict irish catholic family and despite shedding religion in high school I have no doubt that that upbringing is responsible for the distorted view of sexuality I struggled with in my late teens/ early 20's. (not so much with sex itself but with my own sexuality)
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