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2013-06-12: Beautiful Day
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Yinello



Joined: 10 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes you just have a down day.
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Adyon



Joined: 27 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

fritterdonut wrote:
Tell that to the people who called me a fat fuck on a daily basis for a solid 5 years, and only stopped in senior year because they were scared of me at that point.

Mostly, I'd say that is a lot more to do with School-age BS. Most of it stopped by like 10th grade in my area, but basically before that, it was all cliques and peer pressure to make fun of others so you feel better. It's never fun...and it's never right. But it happens.

However, it's true that what was said, that women feel that pressure more, as their worth is often equated to it by the media. You see unattractive successful guys, or even in Hollywood, unattractive guys...that are funny. But women of the same? Not to discredit how much society shames everyone not fit to standard, but as a whole, society places it's actual "value" on women based on their looks. It only "favors" men who are prettier. That's the main difference.

It's not that either sex probably gets told things more than the other when overweight/unhealthy. Because they do. But society places a stigma that signifies women's overall worth with body image, where as guys can get places with looks, but it's not the first thing always.

Also, there's the fact that society expects guys to look "in shape" where as the "shape" it wants for women isn't something you can work out and eat better to achieve. (MAYBE if you don't eat...thought that's not "better") Unless you're lucky like my wife is, where like some, she was simply born with a specific body type, it's pretty much impossible to achieve what society dictates women should look like. And that's not fair to anyone. It's not fair that society pretty much says the worth of any woman who can NEVER achieve that shape is less than one who can. And it's not fair that people like my wife get disrespected by other women (and men sometimes) who are mad that she got lucky with genetics and act like she's the cause of their problems...or immediately call her bulimic, obsessed with her looks, shallow, un-intelligent, etc. How often by comparison do you see men born with good genes in a situation where they're ridiculed for having the looks? Not very often at all, because it doesn't carry the same societal worth. It's just a bonus.
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Yinello



Joined: 10 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 5:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've met a few too many girls who had perfect weight and truly believed they were fat.
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Istancow



Joined: 30 Jan 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

And the pressure on women to maintain beauty standards persists long after they reach adulthood.

It seems as though society is more tolerant of 50-year-old men who put on weight than with 50-year-old women who put on weight.

And with the way the human body decays with age, it has to be depressing to remain under pressure to meet beauty standards long past your youth.
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Adyon



Joined: 27 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Indeed. That's very true too.

Yinello wrote:
I've met a few too many girls who had perfect weight and truly believed they were fat.

And that. v_v We knew a girl who pretty much HAD my wife's body type, and she starved herself because of experiences with it and the pressure to never look bad. (Particularly started after she got pregnant...by rape no doubt...to make that story just a little worse. =/ Joy.)
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Yinello



Joined: 10 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Adyon wrote:
Indeed. That's very true too.

Yinello wrote:
I've met a few too many girls who had perfect weight and truly believed they were fat.

And that. v_v We knew a girl who pretty much HAD my wife's body type, and she starved herself because of experiences with it and the pressure to never look bad. (Particularly started after she got pregnant...by rape no doubt...to make that story just a little worse. =/ Joy.)


;.; That's so sad!

I admit, these kind of stories make me want to go all up and vigilante nonsense.

My mother told me when she was young she and her friends were just walking on the street when a man kneeled in front of them of them, looked towards her friend and said: "Wow, you're really ugly." And left. They were too stunned to reply. Also they were 12. And the friend got anorexia. :///
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Istancow



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

What sort of nutter goes around telling little kids that they're ugly?

Who the hell does that?

Grr.
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Adyon



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Seriously...WTF. That's totally F'ed up.
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Yinello



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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 6:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I know right! It just made me go HULK SMASH but without the green and the actual smashing because I don't want to destroy other people's property. Surprised
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's not really surprising that women, according to multiple longitudinal studies, have lower self-esteem on average across the entire lifespan than men. Sometimes I see stuff and I'll point it out to whoever I'm with and half the time I have to explain why it's fucked up ("Umm... the ad copy literally refers to her as a one of the hottest 'things' in America"). There's so much pressure to be attractive and sexual all the time... guys want to be hot, but we're raised to make money, and stupid and ugly people can still do that. Not everyone can be financially successful, but it's certainly easier for someone to make money than to have a perfect body (especially when that "perfect" body is unreasonable).
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cleocatra



Joined: 30 Mar 2007
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 7:26 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I couldn't count the amount of times my mum has told me to, "Just stop eating." My partner has an almost perfect female body-shape, and this has caused them to be cat-called and worse through their life (they also grew up in a shitty area) to the point that they're just generally afraid/pissed off by skin to skin contact. Plus they've had doctors actually forcing them to eat. I had one doctor who told me, "You're not walking fast enough." when I'd put on some weight though I mostly eat vegetables and walk everywhere. My current doctor has done some blood tests (they've not come back yet).

Also my mum recently cut out part of her stomach to get her to lose weight, this also means now she has to eat really carefully because some foods can now cause her to vomit during the night. She has lost weight (and couldn't do this through exercise due to www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/health-topics/topics/lam/‎ ) but it's completely fucked up that she actually got to the point where body image is so bad that surgery is an option at all. It would have been much better for her to just get treatment for compulsive eating disorder. (which is sorta what she had)
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Ennis



Joined: 09 Jun 2013
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

This may be of relevance to the fat-related talk: http://thisisthinprivilege.tumblr.com/

Also the money vs looks thing, I was once talking about feminism with an (ex) friend of mine who was saying that men had it worse because they were pressured to make money, but women could just make themselves pretty and sponge off a guy, so obviously men had it worse. *epic facepalm*
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Yinello



Joined: 10 May 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 8:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I really hate that. It's insulting to both genders too.

Also models work really freaking hard for their money.
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diagram12345



Joined: 08 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 9:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Istancow wrote:
I am sorry you feel so much pressure to have a bodybuilder's physique. I have never been under such pressure from anyone except myself.


Me too. I try not to eat fattening/unhealthy foods and I try to exercise often because I don't want to make my body weak and flabby when I could be making it strong and firm. But as a grown woman, that's all my own pressure on myself.
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Leohan



Joined: 27 Mar 2007
Posts: 1045

PostPosted: Wed Jun 12, 2013 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, men have to deal with that as well. I've been called so many creative shapes of fat that it's ridiculous. If I hadn't decided to stop giving a fuck altogether I'd probably have severe problems of depression. Instead, I have severe problems of being unable to give a fuck anymore. Guess it's generally better, though.
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