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Monique - does she even have a personality any longer?
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Yorick



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 12101
Location: In the undersnow

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 4:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Istancow wrote:
Ah. Well... I attended Julliard...
I'm a graduate of the Harvard business school...
I travel quite extensively.
I lived through the Black Plague and had a pretty good time during that.
I've seen the EXORCIST ABOUT A HUNDRED AND SIXTY-SEVEN TIMES, AND IT KEEPS GETTING FUNNIER EVERY SINGLE TIME I SEE IT, NOT TO MENTION THE FACT THAT YOU'RE TALKING TO A DEAD GUY, NOW WHAT DO YOU THINK?

...

You think I'm qualified?


are you 6'2" with 5% body fat and a Ph.D.?

'cos if not, then no.
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Istancow



Joined: 30 Jan 2013
Posts: 1103
Location: Hel

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh smeg. I'm 5'6''.

So much for my dreams of becoming the Executive Farting Dicknose. I just don't measure up to the competition these days.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3429
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 8:11 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Feminism to me is a dictionary where I look up a meaning I know, and I find a label for it. The rest is analysis based on those

The batshit crazy laws being pushed by batshit crazy politicians regarding rape victims, contraception, abortion (et all)do not make me want to remove my brain and party.

The amount of sexual violence in the US military does not inspire me to sing.

The fallout friends and relatives have from sexist actions, harrassment and violence inspires me to despair, because I can try and help but I peronally can not undo what happened or fix it.

I do smile and laugh and find excitement in life. Life is beautiful.

Pardon me for being unable to find worth and humor in jokes that dig at the wounds me and mine get to live with.

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.

I wonder how many people readong this won't believe I make childish jokes at every opportunity. Particularly about dicks. Or that I put sprinkles on everything I can get away with. And that I put hearts, ponies and dinosaur stickers on the envelopes of bills, since I figure the people opening them could use a smile.
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Zhuinden



Joined: 02 Jul 2012
Posts: 290

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

stripeypants wrote:

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.


Wait, what?
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Rune



Joined: 08 Oct 2011
Posts: 1055

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 5:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Zhuinden wrote:
stripeypants wrote:

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.


Wait, what?


Many, MANY "romantic film" norms are really quite creepy, abusive, manipulative and/or illegal.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18756_6-romantic-movie-gestures-that-can-get-you-prison-time.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6575

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 9:41 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rune wrote:
Zhuinden wrote:
stripeypants wrote:

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.


Wait, what?


Many, MANY "romantic film" norms are really quite creepy, abusive, manipulative and/or illegal.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18756_6-romantic-movie-gestures-that-can-get-you-prison-time.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html


I recently watched The Swan Princess movie because apparently I'm that person that watches old-ass movies in her free time just to get angry about shit. With that in mind I'm about to completely spoil a cartoon movie that was made in 1994 so if you get mad at me you only have yourself to blame.

Anyway, it was doing SO WELL... Like, Odette was putting her foot down and making it totally clear that the prince wanting to marry her on looks alone after spending literally their entire lives despising her company was actually Not Cool.

And then it all went to hell. Because at some point she gets traumatized by the villian and suddenly the Jerk Princeling is her ONE TRUE LOVE and literally NOTHING is resolved between them. They spend the entire rest of the movie flailing pathetically to get back together.

To add insult to injury, the Jerk Princeling nearly kills her by vowing to love a fake he was too self absorbed to notice wasn't the real deal. A fact which is also NOT RESOLVED IN ANY WAY. He literally just cries over her almost dead body and suddenly she's okay again.

I want to rewrite this movie so hard it pains me and I am pretty sure it's going to end with their parents getting married and the Jerk Princeling fucking off to go hunt shit or something while Odette learns how to be an actually competent ruler.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3429
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Wed Jun 19, 2013 11:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The worst of the 'romantic' things for me still has to be ELF with Will Ferril. Because it is so god damned wrong that the creepy as fuck shower scene is treated as charming. Endearing. Not creepy stalker behavior.


Yesterday I started making a list in my head of all the Little Stripeypants stories I could remember versus the actual (mostly Disney) stories that were there.

Mulan: A young transman tries to figure out wtf to do and how to get along in his society. (I chopped off the ending, because it wasn't relevant.)

Cinderella: A poor woman gets magic powers by proxy and a sparkly dress. Neither she nor the prince seemed to actually show any emotions when dancing and whatnot together, so I didn't pay any attention to the romance bit of it. It was totally all about saying 'fuck you!' to parents and moving up in the world.

Sleeping Beauty: A bunch of faeries live in a cabin in the woods, sew, bake, and have epic battles with other faeries. And there was berry picking! The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.

Robin Hood: The romance in this film was not boring or creepy and I didn't mind it. But most importantly it was all about stopping the corrupt asshats so minorities (poor, disabled, etc) people could live. Was clearly tailor made for tiny Stripeypants.

Pocahontas: A creative artist fights jerkass invaders. Clearly this film had no racism, and was actually a huge slam both against the US government for not honoring treaties and against the people who still are racist against native americans. Little Stripeypants also did not understand why everyone else hadn't concluded that clearly all white people need to clump together more closely so that all possible land could be given back to as many tribes as possible.

Peter Pan: Flying is fun! And Tinkerbell is an attempted murderer! Also GLITTER EVERYWHERE!

I forget the rest of things.
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Rune



Joined: 08 Oct 2011
Posts: 1055

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:06 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stripeypants wrote:
The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.


!!!

Me too.
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Snorri



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10878
Location: hiding the decline.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Monkey Mcdermott wrote:
MUST BEAT HIM TO THIS LINK


This is the best thing ever.


fuck the rest of the thread. This shit is golden.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3429
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:27 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rune wrote:
stripeypants wrote:
The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.


!!!

Me too.


Omg! We should collaborate on a recipe for it, and make a website dedicated to Merriwether's Biscuit.
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10626
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 1:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rune wrote:
Zhuinden wrote:
stripeypants wrote:

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.


Wait, what?


Many, MANY "romantic film" norms are really quite creepy, abusive, manipulative and/or illegal.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18756_6-romantic-movie-gestures-that-can-get-you-prison-time.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html

I've been goin' on about this kinda stuff for years. It's the dark side of romantic fantasy that everyone just laughs away.
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3333

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 2:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Snorri wrote:
Monkey Mcdermott wrote:
MUST BEAT HIM TO THIS LINK


This is the best thing ever.


fuck the rest of the thread. This shit is golden.


still like this one better
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Istancow



Joined: 30 Jan 2013
Posts: 1103
Location: Hel

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 3:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Istancow wrote:
And a wee bit of Grigori Rasputin!


WOO

Monkey know's what's up.
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Rune



Joined: 08 Oct 2011
Posts: 1055

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

stripeypants wrote:
Rune wrote:
stripeypants wrote:
The strongest image I recalled from this film: A biscuit one of the fairies ate. It was fascinating to me for some reason, and while I don't think I have synesthesia, I have a strong association of what that thing tastes like.


!!!

Me too.


Omg! We should collaborate on a recipe for it, and make a website dedicated to Merriwether's Biscuit.


Indeed! Though, it could turn out we have very different ideas what the taste is.

I'm thinking some sort of brown-sugar cookie. Soft and just a little crumbly.
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Theia



Joined: 31 May 2013
Posts: 90
Location: California

PostPosted: Thu Jun 20, 2013 4:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rune wrote:
Zhuinden wrote:
stripeypants wrote:

Excuse me for having experienced stalking and gaslighting and abuse, and thus finding the common romance film ought to be reclassified as horror.


Wait, what?


Many, MANY "romantic film" norms are really quite creepy, abusive, manipulative and/or illegal.

http://www.cracked.com/article_18756_6-romantic-movie-gestures-that-can-get-you-prison-time.html

http://www.cracked.com/article_19285_5-romantic-movie-gestures-that-were-actually-dick-moves.html


that's really, really creepy. My friend was actually talking about how she adores The Notebook, but after reading the part about The Notebook I'm not entirely sure I want to watch it? Is the rest of the movie as unrealistic?
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