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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10223
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 10:36 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I have a question on proper handling of a request.

My cousins birthday is coming up. For her birthday her mother has asked everyone in the family to, instead of giving gifts, write her a letter with a favorite memory of her. I immediately was filled with dread. I like that side of the family a lot, always been on good relations, however my cousin is not a favorite of mine.

I could sit here all day listing awful things shes done. Calling my uncle ugly to his face (uncle from the other side of the family who was at the time going through a divorce), refusing to eat dinner at the family table because my grandfather was "sitting in her seat", at the age of 20 something covering her ears and shrieking at the table because my dad mentioned he was going hunting, etc. And everyone loves her. Don't forget she's on government support because she can't hold down a job, while talking about all the lazy people who soak up welfare.

I'm really at a loss here. I tried to ignore the request and play it off that I never got it, but my aunt now knows I saw it. I could just man up and say no, I suppose.
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Jinx



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3620
Location: America, fuck yeah!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You have a cousin who is at least 20-something, and you still give birthday presents? Are you that close to her?

Also, her mother is directing what to give a 20-something for her birthday?


None of which addresses your dilemma. I just needed to toss those out there.

Could you play it off saying, "Yeah, I'm not really comfortable writing stuff like that. I decided to go with X instead," OSLT?
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10223
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It's her 40th birthday.

I've mentioned shes spoiled?
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Felgraf



Joined: 10 Jul 2012
Posts: 709

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeD CHiKn wrote:
It's her 40th birthday.

I've mentioned shes spoiled?


WHAT.

... Man I don't expect birthday stuff from my family these days, and I'm like 27. (.. I do still sometimes get stuff, which sort of surprises me...)
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10223
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Felgraf wrote:
WHAT.


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Felgraf



Joined: 10 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 5:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeD CHiKn wrote:
Felgraf wrote:
WHAT.



Damn you I heard that in his voice. XD
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"No, but evil is still being --Is having reason-- Being reasonable! Mousie understands? Is always being reason. Is punishing world for not being... Like in head. Is always reason. World should be different, is reason."
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Hydro



Joined: 21 Dec 2007
Posts: 478
Location: Under the boiling summer southern sun

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 6:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

hi everyone

Tell your aunt you already got something for her and give a gift instead?

I've usually had gifts that I bought out ahead of time backfire... Like I got my mother the newest book by her favorite author. Someone else gave it to her (and I'm usually the one who gets her these books) and guess what? Walmart can't take returns of books!
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3248
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 7:33 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could say, "I'm not good with that sort of thing" and then not do it. There are people who don't even sign cards if they're expected to say something, because they just have too much trouble with it, so it is a viable excuse. And it is true - you have trouble coming up with some bullshit pleasant thing you remember about them because there are no such memories to be pulled up.
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Arc Tempest



Joined: 28 Jan 2007
Posts: 4893
Location: Oregon

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Sorry, I already got her a present, it's a 'grow the fuck up' card."
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Atrophy Annie



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'd go with Arc's idea, to be honest.
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i am guessing the woman has some serious issues, and one can feel sorry for her... but that really doesn't mean you should have to make up some happy memory of her. if everyone else loves her, she will have plenty of letters, so she probably won't even miss yours. i say, if her mom keeps pushing you on it, tell her you aren't comfortable doing it (i hope you don't have to go to the extent of actually telling her the memories you _do_ have, 'cause that could get ugly). DO NOT buy her a gift, and don't go to the party.
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Jinx



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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Location: America, fuck yeah!

PostPosted: Wed Aug 14, 2013 9:45 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Arc Tempest wrote:
"Sorry, I already got her a present, it's a 'grow the fuck up' card."


Where's that "Like" button?
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10223
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 10:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Asked my dad if he was gonna do it.

"I think I'll write about the first time she acknowledged my existence when she was 30."
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10277
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jinx wrote:
Arc Tempest wrote:
"Sorry, I already got her a present, it's a 'grow the fuck up' card."


Where's that "Like" button?


This.
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Jinx



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3620
Location: America, fuck yeah!

PostPosted: Thu Aug 15, 2013 12:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is my AV broken for everyone else? I haven't changed it recently, so I'm not sure why it would have stopped working.
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