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Poetry advice

 
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Secret



Joined: 10 Aug 2006
Posts: 5429

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:11 pm    Post subject: Poetry advice Reply with quote

So, I'm a poet. I've had a lot of ideas that I needed to put down on paper (well, virtual paper) for a while, and now that it's Thanksgiving Break I intend to compose around eight different poems.

My problem is that I don't have much variety in my poems. I've always been fond of ababcdcd, sometimes in the form of a Shakespearean sonnet (with iambs, but without pentameter, which I've never been able to do), and that's showing up as the rhyme scheme in almost everything I write. So I'm looking for some new schemes to use, so that I can construct more varied and interesting poems without being bound enough so that I end up with something like, say, The Raven.

Anyone have some rhyme schemes to suggest, or any other tips?

An example of my poetry:

How quick the summer turns to fall
And slow the fall to summer.
How quick the white frost covers all,
As if in nature’s blunder.
How strange that ice refuse to melt,
As dark succumbs to spring,
And cursed the plant that winter felt,
That new earth dost not bring.
Ah, summer lost with golden heart,
And long-forgotten birth,
As darkness tears the world apart,
And earth returns to earth.
The seasons turn and ages pass, in nature’s way sublime,
While humans as its edges grasp, until the end of time.

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Snorri



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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Location: hiding the decline.

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would suggest not thinking about the rhyming too much, and just go with what sounds good to you.
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Major Tom



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

find one unavoidable thought with meter or lyric or whathaveyou that sings and follow it wherever it goes; do not let it out of your sight.
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MsFrisby



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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Location: a quiet little corner of crazy

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 9:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyme_scheme
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rm



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 4073

PostPosted: Wed Nov 22, 2006 10:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Major Tom wrote:
find one unavoidable thought with meter or lyric or whathaveyou that sings and follow it wherever it goes; do not let it out of your sight.


no, don't do that. people will just berate you.
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Major Tom



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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 2:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

the self-fulfilling prophet speaks
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Secret



Joined: 10 Aug 2006
Posts: 5429

PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 2:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

MsFrisby wrote:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rhyme_scheme


That just gives me a list, that doesn't suggest any.

Although I may create a new poem just to try out Chant Royal...
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HobbesTheTiger



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 2:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Rhyme schemes can be whichever you like- from simple to complex- but the most important part is to have it fit the mood of the poem you're writing. The rhyme scheme shouldn't be the focus of the poem (of course, there's always examples to the contrary, for any rule), but have the rhyme scheme be a compliment to the poem itself.

How I explain rhyme scheme is how I was taught in 10th grade english: letters represent the matching rhymes. Below are a few examples.

aabbcc rhyme scheme:
This scheme is sort of lilting, sing-song- since it's stretch out over a longer phrase, it's somewhat dream-like.

So delicately red-handed we were, fingers intertwined,
biting and bitten by a fruit heavy, hanging on the vine;
rolling in the bloodied grass, tart and sweet and loose:
fingers stained with the blush of guilt and pomegranate juice.
Hands to your lips, you kiss, and fingers warm and slick again, unsteady,
sink and slide to hips, plotting curves, a languid, tumbling eddy.

----------------------------------------

a-a b-b c d-d e-e f g-g h-h f j-j k-k c rhyme scheme:
The dashes between the letters represent rhyming on the same line. This sort of scheme is more tangled, eventually ending up all tied together.

Illness

Blues and greens, at the seams,
seeping in and creeping, dancing and speaking,
"Kid, Kid! Come out and play!"
Drizzle in and drizzle down, all lines frown,
fever cracked and broken, words unspoken:
"What did you ever, did you ever do?"
Bent, now, and wavery, the taste unsavory,
eyes crossed and slipping, tongue tripping,
"Is this what dreams we must wake to?"
Given what's taken, she's all shaken,
mind tied, and changed, self rearranged.
"Whispers carry on, 'Just another day.'"

----------------------------------------

rhyme schemes:
(1st stanza) abbaa cd-deed ffghg iijjkl
(2nd stanza) abbbcc ddeeefffgg
(3rd stanza) abcb d-defghhh ijji

This poem shows how you can be really flexible with the rhyme scheme- instead of sticking with a single scheme throughout. There are slant rhymes in this piece; these are rhymes that work on the ending consonant sounds (like shine and behind). In this poem, the rhyme is bent and broken as the poem flows.

Breakfast Blues

abbaa cd-deed ffghg iijjkl

It's alright, it's okay
in the morning, we'll rise and shine
leave the sun far behind
dark with stormy grays
the perfect backdrop for scrambled eggs.
And when you say
"Oh no, oh no not those"
there's more for me
there's more for me
and just more 'tatoes for you.
Jam it down, drink it all up
a bit more OJ right in the cup
the cars outside don't know
to slow it down
gotta go with the flow.
Plates in the sink, crumbs on the counter
cold wooden floors don't matter
gots me a warm, woven rug
gots me warm, woven rug
a soul in the bed with the blankets pulled up
everything falls to shades of heart.

abbbcc ddeeefffgg

Beneath the sheets
we bring a little night upon ourselves
so right, up on our selves
we knock upon the walls, the shelves
they answer with a tumble
the answer to our fumblin'
a purchase of books, knick knacks,
age old candy, vintage thumbtacks
all fall down on hero and heroine.
Saving dragons, fighting kings
receiving promises of wings
and the sheet comes down
and we all fall down
and our lips come down
with a smile and a laughter
and the closeness that comes after.

abcb d-defghhh ijji

Then the music blends together
we toast to the cresendo and the chord
the wind howls out loud
so loud, she says we'll never be bored.
We settle, settle down to meddle
the breath settles down
married to the errant feathers:
and you're a solemn blanket
and I'm a taut and bony pillow
bent and curved, a willow
to your slowing bellows...
slow smile to the skin
last moment body jitters
and a twining of the fingers-
a wish to bring the Dreaming in.

----------------------------------------


I hope this helps and wasn't too much Smile. This barely scratches the surface of rhyme schemes and what is possible.
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rm



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 4073

PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 4:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Major Tom wrote:
the self-fulfilling prophet speaks


ok.
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Major Tom



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 5:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

why must you berate me so???
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rm



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

is there a problem?
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Secret



Joined: 10 Aug 2006
Posts: 5429

PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 8:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

HobbesTheTiger wrote:
Rhyme schemes can be whichever you like- from simple to complex- but the most important part is to have it fit the mood of the poem you're writing. The rhyme scheme shouldn't be the focus of the poem (of course, there's always examples to the contrary, for any rule), but have the rhyme scheme be a compliment to the poem itself.

How I explain rhyme scheme is how I was taught in 10th grade english: letters represent the matching rhymes. Below are a few examples.

aabbcc rhyme scheme:
This scheme is sort of lilting, sing-song- since it's stretch out over a longer phrase, it's somewhat dream-like.

So delicately red-handed we were, fingers intertwined,
biting and bitten by a fruit heavy, hanging on the vine;
rolling in the bloodied grass, tart and sweet and loose:
fingers stained with the blush of guilt and pomegranate juice.
Hands to your lips, you kiss, and fingers warm and slick again, unsteady,
sink and slide to hips, plotting curves, a languid, tumbling eddy.

----------------------------------------

a-a b-b c d-d e-e f g-g h-h f j-j k-k c rhyme scheme:
The dashes between the letters represent rhyming on the same line. This sort of scheme is more tangled, eventually ending up all tied together.

Illness

Blues and greens, at the seams,
seeping in and creeping, dancing and speaking,
"Kid, Kid! Come out and play!"
Drizzle in and drizzle down, all lines frown,
fever cracked and broken, words unspoken:
"What did you ever, did you ever do?"
Bent, now, and wavery, the taste unsavory,
eyes crossed and slipping, tongue tripping,
"Is this what dreams we must wake to?"
Given what's taken, she's all shaken,
mind tied, and changed, self rearranged.
"Whispers carry on, 'Just another day.'"

----------------------------------------

rhyme schemes:
(1st stanza) abbaa cd-deed ffghg iijjkl
(2nd stanza) abbbcc ddeeefffgg
(3rd stanza) abcb d-defghhh ijji

This poem shows how you can be really flexible with the rhyme scheme- instead of sticking with a single scheme throughout. There are slant rhymes in this piece; these are rhymes that work on the ending consonant sounds (like shine and behind). In this poem, the rhyme is bent and broken as the poem flows.

Breakfast Blues

abbaa cd-deed ffghg iijjkl

It's alright, it's okay
in the morning, we'll rise and shine
leave the sun far behind
dark with stormy grays
the perfect backdrop for scrambled eggs.
And when you say
"Oh no, oh no not those"
there's more for me
there's more for me
and just more 'tatoes for you.
Jam it down, drink it all up
a bit more OJ right in the cup
the cars outside don't know
to slow it down
gotta go with the flow.
Plates in the sink, crumbs on the counter
cold wooden floors don't matter
gots me a warm, woven rug
gots me warm, woven rug
a soul in the bed with the blankets pulled up
everything falls to shades of heart.

abbbcc ddeeefffgg

Beneath the sheets
we bring a little night upon ourselves
so right, up on our selves
we knock upon the walls, the shelves
they answer with a tumble
the answer to our fumblin'
a purchase of books, knick knacks,
age old candy, vintage thumbtacks
all fall down on hero and heroine.
Saving dragons, fighting kings
receiving promises of wings
and the sheet comes down
and we all fall down
and our lips come down
with a smile and a laughter
and the closeness that comes after.

abcb d-defghhh ijji

Then the music blends together
we toast to the cresendo and the chord
the wind howls out loud
so loud, she says we'll never be bored.
We settle, settle down to meddle
the breath settles down
married to the errant feathers:
and you're a solemn blanket
and I'm a taut and bony pillow
bent and curved, a willow
to your slowing bellows...
slow smile to the skin
last moment body jitters
and a twining of the fingers-
a wish to bring the Dreaming in.

----------------------------------------


I hope this helps and wasn't too much Smile. This barely scratches the surface of rhyme schemes and what is possible.


THANK you!
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HobbesTheTiger



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Thu Nov 23, 2006 10:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Secret wrote:

THANK you!


You're very welcome. I hope you post the results of your poetic excursions Smile. I'd be interested in reading them.
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