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Flash fiction. Ready, Set, Go!
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MsFrisby



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3966
Location: a quiet little corner of crazy

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 7:14 am    Post subject: Flash fiction. Ready, Set, Go! Reply with quote

Tell me a story with no more than 150 words. Make it good. Use more than one character. Setting, a hotel in the off-season. You can have your characters interact with other characters, linking a story to someone else's.

Go! Smile
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Mindslicer



Joined: 04 Sep 2006
Posts: 2545
Location: North of the People's Republic of Massachusetts

PostPosted: Sun Nov 26, 2006 8:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was a Tuesday afternoon in March at the Holiday Inn. The place was dead. Mark, the assistant manager, was standing behind the front desk idly playing Minesweeper on the hotel computer and, surruptitiously he hoped, watching Karen in her office as she was on the phone with the regional manager.

Karen was educated, attractive, and independent. She was also about ten years older than him, and married -- to a directionless twit who seemed to change career paths the way most people change socks. Six months ago he was an electrician, then he got a job selling washing machines at Sears, and in a week he was starting a new position as an armored car guard. Somehow this guy couldn't stick with a job for longer than a month, but could keep Karen's love for five years. It wasn't fair.

Then it happened! He won Minesweeper for the first time!

...

150 words exactly. Very Happy
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Uncle Benny



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 8129

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 8:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today's a damn weird day for weather, first it's hot, then it's cold, then it's warm with a minor stab at humidity, then it's drowning dogs and cats.

It all wouldn't have been so bad, but then the weather melted an apple pie truck.

everything went to hell from there.
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Dro



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3911

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 10:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The attic was warm, and the air felt thick in his lungs. He hadn't been up here in 30 years. What was I doing? Moving the bunk beds up? Are bunk beds plural, or is it just bunk bed? Some rugs were piled in the corner, and the old dining room chairs nearby in a jumble. Ahh, the chest. He slid each drawer out carefully, riffled the papers inside. Bank statements, grade reports, retirement accounts, medical bills. THESE are important documents? Finally, the drawer with the little black notebook inside. He opened the front cover and paused at the envelope inside. To: Edward Martins. From: Mary Hintham. She didn't like having to take my name, too alliterative, she thought. He opened the envelope then lifted the letter gently to his forehead. Oh God, Mary, what is left for me?

edit: Sorry, I didn't pick up on the hotel in offseason bit.


Last edited by Dro on Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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PinkSpider43



Joined: 15 Oct 2006
Posts: 1800
Location: Connecticut

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 1:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The breeze was cool, as Daniel looked up from the balcony of his second floor room. Oftentimes, at nights, he would come out and stare... at nothing in particular. But it gave him a good feeling, being outside, being a part of the world. Out here he could hear all the sounds unfiltered, perhaps see something interesting, maybe meet someone new... or meet someone again, who he knew years ago.
But more than anything, he could get away. Away from the warm prison of his life. The loneliness, the expectations, the miserable days spent squandering his life away on the road... they didn’t exist out here. Out here he could just... be
But, in the end the night was too short, and he would have to go back inside eventually. His peace was never but a moment. But in that moment, that single moment, Daniel was free.

Edit: I *also* didn't catch the setting. Luckily, "apartment" and "hotel room" aren't that hard to interchange


Last edited by PinkSpider43 on Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:13 am; edited 1 time in total
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donut3point5



Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 940
Location: The Bakery of Blood Gulch.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Today I was bored at my hotel room, and the weather fluxxed a lot, so I drowned some cats and dogs. I think someone saw me so I ran up to him and hit him with a dead puppy. I heard him saying as I left, "This day has gone to hell."
--donut3.5--
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Funkentelechy



Joined: 08 Oct 2006
Posts: 1818

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

His new boss led him to the sorting room, moving all in lurches and staggers. He was unusually top-heavy, like a gorilla. Sweat waxed the birthmark on his bald scalp. The sorting room was poorly ventilated. The birthmark glistened and evoked Gorbachev.
“You’ve got the outgoing,” said the boss. “The mail comes down that chute. District mail in this bin, outta state in this bin, international in the outta state.” He pointed at each bin he indicated. A sign over the chute read “CAUTION” in red. “When they’re full you wheel ‘em to the loading room.”
“What do I do at the end of my shift?” Nick asked.
“Wheel ‘em all to the loading room.”
“Where is the bathroom?”
Behind the loading room.” He turned to leave.
“Wait! Where do I get empty bins from?”
“The loading room.” The boss left. It was Nick's big conversation for the day.
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nathan



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6316

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 9:58 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The slanting hotel slumped beside the empty desert road like the carcass of a deer hit by a passing Chevy. Around it the moonlit valley stretched out toward mountains that felt like foothills just beyond the fingertips. Places like this will do that to a person. Distance is a desert's favorite lie, and the ones who believe it walk away from idling cars that idle alone until they eventually cough and silence, and that's how things end out here. Uncertain, alone and unfinished, still waiting.

A single light shone out through the front office window, which was longer and wider than the other nine and had a fat crack down one side that was visible from the road, made more prominent by the duct tape feebly attempting to cover it. "Vacancy" was painted in large simple letters on the wall underneath. Nate stepped out of the car, leaned against the open door, and lit a crooked cigarette. Fris is so fucking in charge next year.
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Dro



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3911

PostPosted: Mon Nov 27, 2006 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The leaves had long vacated the branches. Soon it will be time to put up lights. It irked him. The only guests at this time of year were businessmen and their secretaries, pretending to be in Saginaw for a week of meetings with axle suppliers. They aren't going to take a break from fucking in order to promenade around the pool in the cold and look at the lights in trees, for chrissakes!

The trowel pressed against something harder than dirt. One more dahlia to store for the winter. He liked digging. After a few minutes of work the vibrations of the trowel communicated to the hand like an extension of the fingers themselves.

The tap on his shoulder startled him, but he didn’t flinch. Why do I take such pride in that? “Brad, Hi…” Is she still uncertain if she is intruding? He sat back and smiled. “Hey.”
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PinkSpider43



Joined: 15 Oct 2006
Posts: 1800
Location: Connecticut

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Daniel watched the man as he looked around the hotel. He figured that he was probably the owner. It must be exciting to be a hotel owner. More exciting than his own retched life. What was he even doing here? He'd been here two days now, and he hadn't gotten any work done at all. Maybe it was the depression, but he couldn't just stay in one place for a week with nothing to show for it. His company would never accept that.
Daniel noticed a woman go up to the man, and the two started talking. Everyone seemed to have more luck than him in that area too. His jealousy left a bad taste in his mouth, and he suddenly found himself wishing he was somewhere else. The serene peace of the balcony was broken, and he moved inside in disgust.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11068

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 3:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was everything she'd ever dreamed of.
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MsFrisby



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3966
Location: a quiet little corner of crazy

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 6:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

“That fucking bitch,” Jimmy groaned as he got out of his car to head toward the hotel office. He had to sleep; it had been two days since he’d dumped that cunt beside the road and fled. His shoulder was red and swollen where she’d stabbed him. He could barely move his left arm at all. He hoped she was dead this time. He hadn’t recognized the waitress he and two of his boys had had some fun with for a few hours thirteen years ago. He had pretty much forgot her when they’d splashed her into the lake. He would never have realized it was her if she hadn’t told him right before she stabbed him. His two buddies had gone missing in the past week. It was probably that bitch’s fault.

“I need a room.”

The clerk looked up, blanched at the bloody shoulder on the sweating man.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11068

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:39 am    Post subject: Apologies to all concerned Reply with quote

"Hey - fuck you too man!" He said as he reloaded his rifle. Sam said nothing an started down the slope. "You know what though? I never thought she'd have done it. I mean, come on". People surprise you, was all Sam could think of, but hesitated to say. "Do you think this is what Cheney felt like?" he giggled. Kilgore flicked back to reality. "It flew into my sight just when I was pulling the trigger! I didn't spin around and fucking shoot behind me! Come on man that's totally unfair and you know it!". Sam knew, but that wasn't gonna keep the grin off his face. "I didn't even know they had pigeons out here".
"If I'd a known we'd be duckhunting I would've brought a dog",
"You own a dog?"
Sam looked puzzled. "I never said that"
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Casey



Joined: 28 Nov 2006
Posts: 25

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 7:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Bunny rolled her eyes. "Stop being such a child, Brad."
"Bunny, baby doll, sweety, I know where we are."
Under her breath: "Whatever."
Brad's eye twitched. He smiled. This is a 1980 Camero, he thought to himself. And it's fucking awesome.
Out of the corner of his eye he saw something. "Ooh! Look Bun, a deer!"
"GAWD. Just get us to a motel before the sun fucking sets, OK Brad? Can you handle that?"
"Sure, babe. I can handle that. You'll be soaking in a hot tub before you..."
"LOOK OUT!"
Brad swerved to miss the second deer and rolled his awesome 1980 Camero straight down the side of a three hundred foot embankment into the parking lot of the TOUREST MOTEL. There were vacancies.
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Merc



Joined: 22 Nov 2006
Posts: 176
Location: Eighth Circle of Hell

PostPosted: Tue Nov 28, 2006 1:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He let out a long drag of his cigarette, the smoke curling slowly toward the sky as he looked over the balcony. The man behind him took another step forward, further revealing his impatience.

"I said 'It's time', John. We need to be going."

With a sigh, he flicked the cigarette off the balcony and turned, nodding. He hated this kind of work. It always left him with nightmares, visions that haunted his dreams for weeks. Then again, he thought, it was small penance for the life he led.

The man handed him his coat and turned toward the door, motioning, eager to leave. John took one last look around the place, and had one thought before leaving there forever. I wonder what special place they'll keep for me in Hell...

P.S. I left the second character purposely mysterious, and his interaction minimal. Any of you are welcome to write the story from his alternate perspective. I would like to see where it leads.
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