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ShadowCell
Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 5844
Location: California
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 Posted: Thu Feb 07, 2013 9:37 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Dear sir/madam/business-entity/overlords,
I am writing/emailing/telegraphing you to inform/remind/persuade you of the qualities/abilities/mental health problems of my long-term/short-term/mid-term student/wife/lover/dog .......Dogen..
Working/Digging/Circle-jerking with ....Dogn..... is an exceptional/mediocre/forgettable/regrettable experience which I have always thoroughly enjoyed/regretted/lubricated. His/Her/Its unique qualities - which are very specific to this particular individual/product/instance - make ....Dougal...... what he/she/it is today: a lovely dog with wisdom beyond its years/a great top (and willing bottom)/a well-rounded student with abilities befitting a grad student/an excellent wardrobe for hiding cats in/other, namely ......N/A........
Please handle his/her/its/their/my application/leash/fragile ego/first batch of eggs with care. For all the right reasons (which are too numerous and most of all specific to detail here) ....Martha...... is a fish/applicant/family member deserving of your utmost attention in the selection/breeding/lathering process.
Spitefully/Sincerely,
Dr. Bob |
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SomeGuy411
Joined: 08 Dec 2012
Posts: 76
Location: Lost somewhere in space/time, as far as I can tell. Last known location: Canada
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 5:16 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | I do really enjoy the fact that I called someone creepy for not caring about non-consent and he responded with something about toasters and then continued to rant and rave about the bad science part. |
_________________
Don't presume to speak for me, and I will try to show you the same courtesy.
I acknowledge the possibility that I can be wrong at almost all times.
Any statements I make, unless otherwise marked, are just my opinion.
Have a pleasant day |
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Heretical Rants
Joined: 21 Jul 2009
Posts: 4355
Location: No.
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| Posted: Mon Feb 11, 2013 6:34 am Post subject: |
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^some creepy shit and a few toaster analogies later ---
| S1 wrote: | | Dude, let go of the toasters. Nobody agrees with you about the toasters. |
--- blah blah issue of consent blah toasters blah blah blah creepy shit blah blah loli pillows blah ---
| D1 wrote: | | IN AN ATTEMPT TO BETTER UNDERSTAND THIS THREAD MY PUBIC HAIR IS ON FIRE. |
| S2 wrote: | | you shouldn't have put it in the toaster |
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butts |
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mouse
Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 16508
Location: under the bed
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| Posted: Tue Feb 26, 2013 12:46 am Post subject: |
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| 1st person wrote: |
//Also, I am now for some reason picturing someone being raised by predator drones. |
| 2nd person wrote: | | they were worse than helicopter parents |
it's the imagery that gets me.[/quote]
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aka: neverscared! |
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ShadowCell
Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 5844
Location: California
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| Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 2:58 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Quote: | I do not have to fuck myself I married your mom,I know I should have told you sooner but I did not want to come into your room because of the smell and the fact that we did not want you to move and risk giving your fat 600 pound ass a heart attack.
Hell I even bought you a new beanbag chair. I know that you have a emotional attachment to the old one considering it's now bonded to you symbolically with your sticky sweat and urine stains but maybe we can find a way to cut it out for you. |
It's already been pointed out that your come back has clearly been copypasted from Great Innernet Lols 1994, you fucking clown shoes imbecile, but my mother would shatter your frail pubis into a fine powder, you shitty douche.
Its more likely to be you having a heart attack as she grasps the frail hermit crab you call a cock in her mighty hand, and gives you such a vigorous rub and tug people will mistake it for a nature documentary about piranhas, leading you to ejaculate with such violence your internal organs fire out the sad, weepy end of your pee hole through the air and as you fucking die, you fucking knob bastard horsefucker you will see your internal organs have spelled 'I'M A CUNT' and my mother will stand over you and laugh and you'll be dead.
DEAD. |
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Darqcyde
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 9858
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.
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| Posted: Sun Mar 03, 2013 3:05 am Post subject: |
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SC, you fucker, you beat me to it!
_________________
...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.
http://12ozlb.blogspot.com Now in book form: http://amzn.to/14E6OFy |
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Darqcyde
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 9858
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.
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| Posted: Mon Mar 04, 2013 6:28 pm Post subject: |
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| SC wrote: | | S wrote: | | *Many of my uses of "I" up here refer to the entire crack team of argumentologists of which I am part. |
in 2011 a crack argumentologist team was sent to prison for a crime they didn't commit. these posters promptly escaped from a maximum-security stockade to Sinfest. today, still wanted by the government, they survive as posters of fortune. if you have a problem...if no one else can help...and if you can find them...maybe you can hire...the I-Team. |
_________________
...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.
http://12ozlb.blogspot.com Now in book form: http://amzn.to/14E6OFy |
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Black Kitty
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 704
Location: Under your bed.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 05, 2013 6:05 am Post subject: |
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| FunnyDood wrote: | | Noob wrote: | Tat doesn't care at all for his audience.
And is happy to sling crap at them.
So, basically ...
He's just masturbating.
Not that there's anything wrong with that. |
I'm not sure you're masturbating correctly... |
_________________
Live to laugh. |
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Yorick
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 12099
Location: In the undersnow
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| Posted: Thu Mar 07, 2013 3:49 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Lord knows things could use some freshening up in here but you totally nailed one of the things I won't shove up my ass. |
_________________
Currently experiencing: winter. |
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Desire
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 566
Location: AK
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| Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 12:19 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Boner-induced force lightning may have some unfortunate implications, and I'm not really sure if the world is prepared for porn-powered psychokinesis. |
_________________
"Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her. " |
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ShadowCell
Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 5844
Location: California
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| Posted: Sat Mar 09, 2013 4:01 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | Hey, I just logged in
and this is crazy
but here's my art blog
so visit maybe |
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Darqcyde
Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 9858
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.
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| Posted: Sat Mar 16, 2013 8:44 pm Post subject: |
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| House Speaker John Boehner, on Rob Portman changing his stance on gay marriage, wrote: | "Rob's a great friend and a long-time ally. And I appreciate that he's decided to change his views on this," Boehner said. "I believe that marriage is the union of one man and one woman…It's- it's what I grew up with. It's what I believe. It's what my church teaches me. And I can't imagine that position would ever change."
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| a fester with pants wrote: | | I'm glad we're going with 'what people grew up with' as basis for law. I look forward to the five second rule finally being legally allowed in restaurants. |
_________________
...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.
http://12ozlb.blogspot.com Now in book form: http://amzn.to/14E6OFy |
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Heretical Rants
Joined: 21 Jul 2009
Posts: 4355
Location: No.
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| Posted: Tue Mar 19, 2013 10:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Quote: | | Wow, Desire's back. |
You think that's impressive? Check out Desire's front! |
_________________
butts |
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Desire
Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 566
Location: AK
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| Posted: Wed Mar 20, 2013 5:04 pm Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Mouse, you must need more vices; alternatively-hued fauna in aerodynamically improbable scenarios are the rewards of a life properly ill-spent. |
_________________
"Her kisses left something to be desired -- the rest of her. " |
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Heretical Rants
Joined: 21 Jul 2009
Posts: 4355
Location: No.
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| Posted: Sat Apr 06, 2013 6:34 am Post subject: |
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| Quote: | | Quote: | | Well obviously it's not the haggis-eating that determines a Scotsman, it's whether they would commit violent sex-mania crimes while eating sugared porridge or not. |
No true Scotsman would deign aught but treacle satisfactory. The crimes I cannae speak to, but ye ken the sheep didnae lodge any complaint wi' the polis. |
| Quote: | | Quote: | | I think the moral of the story is that no good comes of insults. |
That moral is stupid, you fucking idiot. |
_________________
butts |
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