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Major Tom

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 7562
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:07 am Post subject: |
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the writer has many tools in his or her kit.
it is good to remember that they are not all hammers. |
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Willem

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 6306 Location: wasteland style
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 12:23 pm Post subject: |
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| Darqcyde wrote: | | Willem wrote: | Skimming over your post, only one thing caught my eye: "Ellennara Jokahna Illustremius Fordikinnen Ralastriel Allmartanus IV".
I am not reading your story. |
The name is said by a bureaucrat you're supposed to hate. If it's cumbersome, ridiculous and unwieldy then it's doing it's job. |
"Jokahana Ralanus Hillford" is the actual name. That's also not good. _________________ attitude of a street punk, only cutting selected words out of context to get onself excuse to let one's dirty mouth loose |
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Sam the Eagle
Joined: 02 Oct 2006 Posts: 2276 Location: 192.168.0.1
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 1:12 pm Post subject: |
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Add me to the naysayer list. Both stories strikes me as a mix up of writing styles.
1st story: John Kennedy Toole had unprotected sex with Sartre.
No point in the story, looser hero. Rythm changes too often.
2nd story: Harlequin meets Harry Potter, while Kafka is wanking nearby.
Jokana, seriously?. Is it a comedy, a drama?. _________________ Meu aerobarca esta cheoi de enguias |
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Arc Tempest

Joined: 28 Jan 2007 Posts: 4568 Location: Oregon
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Posted: Tue Nov 09, 2010 3:58 pm Post subject: |
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You know what I love about The Black Company? It's a good fantasy with character names that aren't retarded. Months later I can recall the names of even tertiary characters because they were short, concise, and descriptive. _________________ The older I get, the more certain I become of one thing. True and abiding cynicism is simply a form of cowardice. |
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