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People Say The Stupidest Things...
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trustedfaith



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3366
Location: My own little world...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:09 am    Post subject: People Say The Stupidest Things... Reply with quote

I deal with customers all day long, and sometimes I wonder if they were dropped on their heads as babies with the crap they come up with sometimes.

Exhibit A:

I had a customer ask me yesterday (Monday) to fax them an invoice. I had to explain how our invoices are generated.

When we bill a shipment, it generates an invoice that night, and it can be printed the next day. So if it bills on Monday, the invoice will be ready Tuesday morning to print out and fax.

So he gives me his purchase order number to the shipment he wants an invoice for. It's a shipment that was billing on that day (Monday). So the invoice would be ready Tuesday (today). I explain this to him. He says:

Quote:
Customer: "Well I need it right now."
Jen: "It won't be generated till tonight when the systems update, and will be ready tomorrow."
Customer: "I have to pay this today."
Jen: "I can tell you how much you owe, or I can fax you a copy of the packing list that has your cost and total on it as well."
Customer: "Yeah I guess you can do that. Can't you just give me an invoice number?"
Jen: "...."
Jen: "No sir, the invoice doesn't exist yet, I can't give you a number that doesn't exist yet."


Exhibit B:

A customer called today to find out when a replacement order was shipping. In order for me to find out, I need to find the order. This conversation followed:

Quote:
Jen: "Ok, can you tell me what the purchase order number was for this order?"
Customer: "Uhm... 9547452 is the invoice number that you gave us."
Jen: *stops typing in the 954 number* "Ok, but I need the purchase order number to look up when it's going to ship or when it's shipped."
Customer: "Well this was a credit card order."
Jen: "All orders have a purchase order number ma'am. If you didn't give a specific one, then the date you placed it and your name would have been entered. When did you place the order?"
Customer: "Uhm, a few weeks ago, I think."
Jen: *bangs her head off the wall*


Exhibit C:

And lastly, I went up to the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes about two hours ago. This is the actual conversation at the gas station with the foreign clerk (who's English was just fine):

(Mind you I was using my debit card to get a pack of smokes, and this ensued once I slid the card)

Quote:
Clerk: "Please select debit or credit."
Jen: "Darlin' I come here all the time, you don't need to talk me through this."
Clerk: "Did you select debit? Please put in your PIN number."
Jen: *lofts a brow* "Did you hear me?"
Clerk: *laugh* "Uhh no?"
Jen: "I said, I've done this a million times, you don't have to talk me through this." *punches in her PIN number*
Clerk: "Please select enter when you're done."
Jen: ....


Care to share any other evidence that people say the stupidest things?
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andrew



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
Posts: 4495
Location: the raging sea

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 6:31 am    Post subject: Re: People Say The Stupidest Things... Reply with quote

trustedfaith wrote:
I deal with customers all day long, and sometimes I wonder if they were dropped on their heads as babies with the crap they come up with sometimes.

Exhibit A:

I had a customer ask me yesterday (Monday) to fax them an invoice. I had to explain how our invoices are generated.

When we bill a shipment, it generates an invoice that night, and it can be printed the next day. So if it bills on Monday, the invoice will be ready Tuesday morning to print out and fax.

So he gives me his purchase order number to the shipment he wants an invoice for. It's a shipment that was billing on that day (Monday). So the invoice would be ready Tuesday (today). I explain this to him. He says:

Quote:
Customer: "Well I need it right now."
Jen: "It won't be generated till tonight when the systems update, and will be ready tomorrow."
Customer: "I have to pay this today."
Jen: "I can tell you how much you owe, or I can fax you a copy of the packing list that has your cost and total on it as well."
Customer: "Yeah I guess you can do that. Can't you just give me an invoice number?"
Jen: "...."
Jen: "No sir, the invoice doesn't exist yet, I can't give you a number that doesn't exist yet."


Exhibit B:

A customer called today to find out when a replacement order was shipping. In order for me to find out, I need to find the order. This conversation followed:

Quote:
Jen: "Ok, can you tell me what the purchase order number was for this order?"
Customer: "Uhm... 9547452 is the invoice number that you gave us."
Jen: *stops typing in the 954 number* "Ok, but I need the purchase order number to look up when it's going to ship or when it's shipped."
Customer: "Well this was a credit card order."
Jen: "All orders have a purchase order number ma'am. If you didn't give a specific one, then the date you placed it and your name would have been entered. When did you place the order?"
Customer: "Uhm, a few weeks ago, I think."
Jen: *bangs her head off the wall*


Exhibit C:

And lastly, I went up to the gas station to get a pack of cigarettes about two hours ago. This is the actual conversation at the gas station with the foreign clerk (who's English was just fine):

(Mind you I was using my debit card to get a pack of smokes, and this ensued once I slid the card)

Quote:
Clerk: "Please select debit or credit."
Jen: "Darlin' I come here all the time, you don't need to talk me through this."
Clerk: "Did you select debit? Please put in your PIN number."
Jen: *lofts a brow* "Did you hear me?"
Clerk: *laugh* "Uhh no?"
Jen: "I said, I've done this a million times, you don't have to talk me through this." *punches in her PIN number*
Clerk: "Please select enter when you're done."
Jen: ....


Care to share any other evidence that people say the stupidest things?


I'd contribute, but it sounds like we work at the same place.
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Varst Kolcimb



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Any where I want to be

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

People that think they can swipe their credit/debit cards before I'm done ringing up their fucking order. Where exactly are these places they speak of when they say 'Oh well someplaces I can swipe it any time...' why the fcuk... All these stupid little card swipers on the planet all say 'Swipe Card' when you can swipe your fucking card.

...
Okay I'm done.
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Gawzz



Joined: 25 Jul 2006
Posts: 26

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:14 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Whenever a customer yells out for their order as they're watching me bring it towards them. They must of forgotten what they ordered. Rolling Eyes
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lily



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 1531
Location: worcester, ma

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:39 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Varst Kolcimb wrote:
People that think they can swipe their credit/debit cards before I'm done ringing up their fucking order. Where exactly are these places they speak of when they say 'Oh well someplaces I can swipe it any time...' why the fcuk... All these stupid little card swipers on the planet all say 'Swipe Card' when you can swipe your fucking card.

...
Okay I'm done.


well, you can swipe it before the ringing up is done at cvs. (a drugstore... kinda like walgreens). it says on the screen 'swipe card at any time'. so those people, while possibly stupid, are not lying.
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3333

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:55 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heh, we get this one all the time at work

employee answering the phone: High street brewery and cafe this is <employee's name> how might I help you?

Customer on the phone: Are you the mcmenamins down by the river?

(High street is nowhere near the river, it doesnt intersect or come anywhere near the river, in fact, its right near down town)
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Yorick



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 12101
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 12:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I dunno if it counts as saying stupid things, but it drives me nuts when I identify my place of work when people call here, and they immediately hang up (presumably because they called the wrong place.) What ever happened to politeness? Is it really so difficult to say "sorry, wrong number" and not PISS ME OFF?!?!
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Flion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Varst Kolcimb wrote:
People that think they can swipe their credit/debit cards before I'm done ringing up their fucking order. Where exactly are these places they speak of when they say 'Oh well someplaces I can swipe it any time...'


Um, every grocery store? Rolling Eyes But we won't add your post to the list for that, because it's their fault for not reading and following instructions. I find the 'self check' systems at groceries (and now at Home Depot) to be hilarious. People can't follow simple directions like "please place item in bagging area". I watched one person fill up a bag and then put it in their cart and could not understand why the machine was complaining. Better still are the ones who don't understand why their produce won't scan. But, while those are stupid acts, it is not necessarily stupid people who do these things. I know an anesthesiologist who has problems with these machines; she is a mensan and former merchant marine engineer and has made up her mind how they should work - and it's their fault for not working that way. Rolling Eyes
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trustedfaith



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3366
Location: My own little world...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

The same guy in 'Exhibit A' called me this morning. Before he asked about the invoice that hadn't been generated yet, I faxed him two that had. This was Monday. It's now Wednesday:

Quote:
Customer: "Hi, can I get another invoice faxed to me?"
Jen: "Sure, what's the packing list number."
Customer: "51398527"
Jen: "..."
Jen: "I faxed that invoice over to you Monday morning."
Customer: "You did?"
Jen: "Yes with invoice number 9278653. Did you need that one re-faxed as well?"
Customer: "Oh no, I got that one."
Jen: "...."

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Fhqwhgads



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 1337
Location: sfcaus

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I do IT support. Nuff said, I think... but here's a winner.

Actual conversation, actually had by me and a floor supervisor:

Supe: "Hi, my arrow's broken."
Me: "Your... you mean your mouse?"
Supe: "Yeah, my arrow."
Me: "Oookay... [messes around a bit] ...have you tried rebooting your system yet?"
Supe: "Oh yeah, several times."
Me: "No, not the TV part, I mean the box underneath. Did you turn that bit off and back on?"
Supe: "..."
Me: "Let's try rebooting, mmkay?"
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trustedfaith



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3366
Location: My own little world...

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 1:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fhqwhgads wrote:
I do IT support. Nuff said, I think... but here's a winner.

Actual conversation, actually had by me and a floor supervisor:

Supe: "Hi, my arrow's broken."
Me: "Your... you mean your mouse?"
Supe: "Yeah, my arrow."
Me: "Oookay... [messes around a bit] ...have you tried rebooting your system yet?"
Supe: "Oh yeah, several times."
Me: "No, not the TV part, I mean the box underneath. Did you turn that bit off and back on?"
Supe: "..."
Me: "Let's try rebooting, mmkay?"


Hahaha!
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DigitalVirtuoso



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 66
Location: Houston, TX

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This is a webgem I have to share.

http://www.filecabi.net/video/microsoft_support_center.html

Microsoft Tech support outsourcing for the win.
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Fhqwhgads



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 1337
Location: sfcaus

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 2:43 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*groan* Ah-yup.

"Tank yoo fo calling Dell Tech Support, dis is Lakshminarayana-- I mean... Bob..."

EDIT: Oh, and go here and play Tech Support 2 and 3 (looks like 1's been taken down).
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Neo.Shroom



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 367
Location: Canaduh

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 5:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote


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BoySetsFire



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 374
Location: Rex Kwan Doe enthusiast

PostPosted: Wed Jul 26, 2006 7:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Fhqwhgads wrote:
I do IT support. Nuff said, I think... but here's a winner.

Actual conversation, actually had by me and a floor supervisor:

Supe: "Hi, my arrow's broken."
Me: "Your... you mean your mouse?"
Supe: "Yeah, my arrow."
Me: "Oookay... [messes around a bit] ...have you tried rebooting your system yet?"
Supe: "Oh yeah, several times."
Me: "No, not the TV part, I mean the box underneath. Did you turn that bit off and back on?"
Supe: "..."
Me: "Let's try rebooting, mmkay?"


unrelated, but it made me thing of THIS

a kite that looks like an "arrow."


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