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Life's Horrors
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 17588
Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh Varst, i'm so sorry about your dad!

did he leave a will? that would probably be the only thing that can give you any legal standing - well, depending on what your state says about common-law marriage (like, if he was even in one). but that brings on its own level of pain, and unless a will made specific mention of things, it may not get you anywhere anyway.

at least you can maybe look forward to not having to deal with her any more...
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jwing



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PostPosted: Fri Feb 14, 2014 9:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Big hugs, Varst.
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Vox Raucus



Joined: 31 Oct 2007
Posts: 1266
Location: At the Hundredth Meridian

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Losing your dad sucks. Losing your dad, and then having to deal with greedy asshole relatives sucks even more.

Sorry Varst.
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

oh, varst Sad

I'm so sorry. I hope everything goes okay.
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10657
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 2:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Varst Kolcimb wrote:
My dad died on Monday and everything sucks.

I'm sad and depressed, I miss my pops.

My stepmother is a nightmare, I hate her more than words can describe and she's making me wish there was actually a hell so she would go to it.

She wasn't legally married to my father and is claiming a bunch of his things were 'given away' at various points and some of them make sense and others don't.

She says he gave some things to her grand daughter and then asked me if I was going to take things away from a little girl.

That's really fucking low shielding yourself with a kid you crazy fucking lady.

First off, I'm sorry for your loss.

Some advice: get angry, it can help cancel out the sadness and clear your mind, at least enough so to deal with these vultures. And speak your mind, you have every right to. As long as you remain honest, fuck being nice and others' feelings -- doesn't seem like she is taking yours into consideration at all.

My wife's father died when she was sixteen and her all but estranged half brothers and sisters swooped in like vultures. They took all kinds of stuff, mostly to pawn for money. I lost track of how many times she's told me tales like "Yeah my dad had this and this from this trip" and "Yeah, I made my dad this, but it's gone forever now." She regrets most of all not saying the things to those crappy family members when she had the chance.

Edit: Sorry if I went off, but few things make me angrier (and I'm sure people know I'm capable of being pretty angry) than seeing people take advantage of family by using the idea of family as a shield and/or crutch to do so.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
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Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

It is really hideous when people do that, I see no reason not to get angry.
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Varst Kolcimb



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1041
Location: Any where I want to be

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 3:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thanks everyone.

I keep getting crying jags over stupid things that set me off by reminding me of dad but it's been a lot easier to handle things with the clarity that anger has brought me.

My dad has never been a materialistic man and doesn't have much and certainly nothing worth much money but have a huge amount of sentimental value.

I asked her for the license plates of the car my dad and I had owned together and worked on and fought about, 'I don't know where they are.'

Well bitch you better find them or I'm coming down on your ass with a lawyer over a canada dry box and some license plates!
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eureka00



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2002
Location: Pretzel City

PostPosted: Sat Feb 15, 2014 4:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Varst Kolcimb wrote:
Thanks everyone.

I keep getting crying jags over stupid things that set me off by reminding me of dad but it's been a lot easier to handle things with the clarity that anger has brought me.

My dad has never been a materialistic man and doesn't have much and certainly nothing worth much money but have a huge amount of sentimental value.

I asked her for the license plates of the car my dad and I had owned together and worked on and fought about, 'I don't know where they are.'

Well bitch you better find them or I'm coming down on your ass with a lawyer over a canada dry box and some license plates!


So sorry, Varst! I can't even imagine your grief. Sad Unbelievable that family can get like that isn't it? Basically I would just say get me these few things, and then I'll be out of your hair for good.

When my one grandma died, my great uncle/aunt came in and demanded that they get her china closet so it could stay in the family. Um excuse me? We all have the same last name and my great uncle (who was the actual blood relative) had no children! Funny thing was my grandma must have anticipated they would try to get it because she had a note inside the china closet that said it belonged to her son. It was written in sharpie on the inside of the door to boot LOL.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sorry Varst
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

My sympathies, Varst. It's hard enough to lose a loved one without it turning into a family dispute.
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Varst Kolcimb



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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Location: Any where I want to be

PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

eureka00 wrote:

Funny thing was my grandma must have anticipated they would try to get it because she had a note inside the china closet that said it belonged to her son. It was written in sharpie on the inside of the door to boot LOL.


It's weird how things magically work themselves out like that.

Dad's memorial was Saturday. Everything's okay now with dad on the mantle. Can't afford an urn to put him in so it's a bag in a box but that's fine, as long as he's here.

My dad's last girlfriend before crazy step-monster came to the service and sat and comforted me for a while. She might be a bit batty but she's always been there for me.

Then while we were sitting off to the side she told me that she had something for me and that my father told her that she would know when to give it to me. She took a ring off her finger and told me that it was my grandmother's wedding ring. Pops had told her to make sure it made its way to me.

So it's weird how at peace I feel with the world now knowing how my dad was always thinking of me.
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Usagi Miyamoto



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Varst Kolcimb wrote:
My dad's last girlfriend before crazy step-monster came to the service and sat and comforted me for a while. She might be a bit batty but she's always been there for me.

Then while we were sitting off to the side she told me that she had something for me and that my father told her that she would know when to give it to me. She took a ring off her finger and told me that it was my grandmother's wedding ring. Pops had told her to make sure it made its way to me.

So it's weird how at peace I feel with the world now knowing how my dad was always thinking of me.

This is a true moment of awesome. I'm so sorry for your loss, Varst, but I'm also pleased there are some bright spots like this amid the dark. Stay well.
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Varst Kolcimb



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 3:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thank you. I'm trying to look forward to brighter days.
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eureka00



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 4:35 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, that ring story is really really sweet.
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Mini J



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1170
Location: Toronto, ON

PostPosted: Mon Feb 17, 2014 8:50 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm sorry for your loss Varst, and glad to hear there is some good things for you too. big hugs.
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