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Jabberjay



Joined: 31 Jul 2012
Posts: 259

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Echo wrote:
Yeah, humanity may be afraid of wolves but that doesn't make them an immediate deadly threat that can be lured and their behaviour controlled with animal fats and pheromones.

Incidentally, does anyone else find the "urine from a bitch in heat" thing introduces an incredibly creepy sexual element into that murder fantasy?


It's an attractant. They can smell it further away than the blood and will be drawn to it more strongly. The blood and fat are just seasoning once they realize that there is no bitch in heat to be found.

I know its a flawed plan but since I don't actually plan on doing it that isn't as much of a problem. The most hilarious of all of the theoretical failure scenarios involves the wolves finding the victim and just licking all of the blood and fat off of them, then leaving them alone. After they starve out for a few days they might be scrawny enough to get out of their bonds and make it to the backroads where they may be picked up by some good Samaritan.

If I was serious about just killing somebody and getting away with it I wouldn't leave them anywhere still alive. I'm not a goddamn Bond villain.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

You are super creepy, though.
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 5:38 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Echo wrote:
Yeah, humanity may be afraid of wolves but that doesn't make them an immediate deadly threat that can be lured and their behaviour controlled with animal fats and pheromones.

Incidentally, does anyone else find the "urine from a bitch in heat" thing introduces an incredibly creepy sexual element into that murder fantasy?

I bet Vale would use that phrasing.
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

no u
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the only thing funnier than watching an Internet Tough Guy preen and strut about how he'd totally kill somebody is when his plan to totally kill somebody turns out to be stupid
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:29 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not stupid enough to tell you about a plan I would consider actually using. I'd only ever tell you the stupid plans that I wouldn't actually bother with.

A clever criminal might be able to use obfuscating stupidity to their advantage. I don't think I'm that clever, so really I wouldn't tell you about the stupid plan, either, unless I was in a situation where it would be more suspicious to not come up with any plan at all.


If I was just enjoying thinking about the plan and wouldn't follow through with any version of it, I might conceivably talk about it with people who could provide a degree of human interaction in that, or who might reciprocate with similar plans of their own.
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WheelsOfConfusion



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:50 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

And then steal their ideas, crowdsourcing The Perfect Crime!
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 8:53 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, no. Such plans wouldn't be optimised for efficacy. Rather, they'd be optimised for storytelling.
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Echo



Joined: 18 Jul 2013
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heretical Rants wrote:
If I was just enjoying thinking about the plan and wouldn't follow through with any version of it, I might conceivably talk about it with people who could provide a degree of human interaction in that, or who might reciprocate with similar plans of their own.


Possibly a semantic point but I would question the level of humanity in an interaction involving the swapping of murder fantasies.
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WheelsOfConfusion



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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heretical Rants wrote:
Well, no. Such plans wouldn't be optimised for efficacy. Rather, they'd be optimised for storytelling.

If it's not a good story, it's not The Perfect Crime!
"I threw a rock at him!" might well be the perfect crime, but it's a lousy story. Even if it was a big rock.
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Echo wrote:
Heretical Rants wrote:
If I was just enjoying thinking about the plan and wouldn't follow through with any version of it, I might conceivably talk about it with people who could provide a degree of human interaction in that, or who might reciprocate with similar plans of their own.


Possibly a semantic point but I would question the level of humanity in an interaction involving the swapping of murder fantasies.


the human mind is a helluva lot better at fantasizing about things than any other extant known mind is
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fritterdonut



Joined: 24 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heretical Rants wrote:
Echo wrote:
Heretical Rants wrote:
If I was just enjoying thinking about the plan and wouldn't follow through with any version of it, I might conceivably talk about it with people who could provide a degree of human interaction in that, or who might reciprocate with similar plans of their own.


Possibly a semantic point but I would question the level of humanity in an interaction involving the swapping of murder fantasies.


the human mind is a helluva lot better at fantasizing about * than any other known mind is

"If this car were to burst into flames while doing 80km/h and I had to jump out, would it be better to bail out feet first or try to curl into a ball and roll?"

-my brain yesterday while driving with a friend

If you just let your mind wander a bit you can get to thinking about some really bizarre scenarios
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Jabberjay



Joined: 31 Jul 2012
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 9:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Perfect crimes are always contextual, and "how would you murder" is a mental exercise. It's right up there with "zombie apocalypse survival plan" and "what would your superpower be and how would you use it?"

I guess I just travel in different social circles. Honestly my answer isn't even the most fucked up one. I once had this woman, more than 20 years my senior, tell me how she would keep a person alive and sensate while being vivisected. She knew which chemicals to use, which nerve clusters to target in which order with which instrument... some real creepy modern Jack the Ripper shit. Funny thing is she is one of the nicest people I know.

Plenty of people have fantasies about illegal and/or immoral things. Realism only plays into it if they make it real and the vast majority don't. We have much better sense than that. The cop should have had better sense than to write the equivalent of a fucking book about it and leave it lying around, though. Plus there's hypotheticals and then there's obsessing. He probably should have found a better hobby.
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jabberjay wrote:
Echo wrote:
Yeah, humanity may be afraid of wolves but that doesn't make them an immediate deadly threat that can be lured and their behaviour controlled with animal fats and pheromones.

Incidentally, does anyone else find the "urine from a bitch in heat" thing introduces an incredibly creepy sexual element into that murder fantasy?


It's an attractant. They can smell it further away than the blood and will be drawn to it more strongly. The blood and fat are just seasoning once they realize that there is no bitch in heat to be found.

I know its a flawed plan but since I don't actually plan on doing it that isn't as much of a problem. The most hilarious of all of the theoretical failure scenarios involves the wolves finding the victim and just licking all of the blood and fat off of them, then leaving them alone. After they starve out for a few days they might be scrawny enough to get out of their bonds and make it to the backroads where they may be picked up by some good Samaritan.

If I was serious about just killing somebody and getting away with it I wouldn't leave them anywhere still alive. I'm not a goddamn Bond villain.


no it is a bad plan not ONLY for the reasons you are cognizant of but because you literally have no idea how wolves work and so every other element of your plan is completely wrong as well
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 9556

PostPosted: Mon Aug 11, 2014 11:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jabberjay wrote:
Perfect crimes are always contextual, and "how would you murder" is a mental exercise. It's right up there with "zombie apocalypse survival plan" and "what would your superpower be and how would you use it?"


for instance, if i wanted to kill someone, my plan is to show them your posting
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