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The Collected Tales of Awesome People
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Bart



Joined: 22 Jul 2006
Posts: 1572

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh no, the guy in the Volvo saved me from the titty's. Or do you want to write a tale about how cool nympfomanes are ?

And i have no idea wether "nympfomane" is spelled correctly, or if it's even a word in english, but if babelfish doesn't help me out i just guess.
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2891

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 7:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

nymphomaniac?
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Dro



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3854

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 9:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yorick wrote:
I got a flat once in the pouring rain. It was a narrow road and I had to go about half a mile before I could get off of it. So I'm by myself in a school parking lot trying to change a tire for the very first time in my life, in the pouring rain. The tools were greasy or something, so I took off my shirt to wipe everything down. It felt good, the cool water running down my chest, warm from the exertion of getting the tire off. This van pulls up and the driver says "I'll help you with that". The driver gets out, and it turns out it is a woman, wearing the thinnest white t-shirt I've ever seen. "If we work together" she says with a smile as the rain began to soak through her top, "we'll get you going in no time!"

She had one of those "call 1800imhorny" stickers in the car window.
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LittlestMorte



Joined: 29 Jul 2006
Posts: 128

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 10:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, Dro beat me to it, but dammit man, this is art.

Yorick wrote:
On the rainiest night of the year, I was driving along this stretch of quiet backwoods road after a long, long journey when my tire exploded. I had to limp along for another half-mile before I could pull over to the side of the road in an abandoned parking lot. When I saw how much damage was done to my tire, I sank to my knees, pounded my fist on the pavement, and screamed, "You maniacs! You blew my tire up! Ah, damn you! God damn you all to hell!" I took shelter from the rain on the leeward side of my car, cradling my chest and crying to myself.

After about half an hour of this, I hear a huge horn reverberating through the forest and the biggest truck I have ever seen pulled up beside me. Out pops what had to be the shaggiest man in the world. I mean he had his arm hair tied in dreadlocks. He scratched his chest lazily and said "Hey man, got a light?"

He was the love of my life and now he's gone. I will always remember our special night together though. He will always have a place in my heart.
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Egregius



Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 171

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I gots 2 stories, but one is short.

When I was 6 I was on holiday with my parents, in the US. I believe it was evening when we stopped at one of those small magazine/tobacco/snacks/drinks store that were open till late (can't think of the proper name in english atm). While my parents were shopping, the clerk/cashier tried to strike up a friendly conversation with me. Perhaps to his surprise, but certainly to the surprise of my parents, I spoke reasonably fluent english for my age (long live untranslated cartoons!). Anyway, long story short (or actually, hazy memories cut short): the guy eventually gave me a couple of dollar cent coins, from when the tail-side was different. I just looked them up again, one from 1944, one from 1952. I still got them, and perhaps he had a huge bag of these things behind the counter, but to a six year old coin collector, it meant a lot. From what I remember, I kept stammering 'Thanks!', not sure how to sufficiently express my gratitude.

BTW: up till this day, my mother keeps reminding me how important it is to expose your children to foreign language cartoons when they're 5 to 7 years old. I guess it's a phenomenon limited to small language zones. She wishes she had exposed me to french cartoons as well when I was six (and me as well, actually, it would've meant a lot less trouble in highschool).


My other memory of people who were unnecessarily nice that comes to mind right now, is from 2 years ago. I was on a bicycling vacation in Germany with a friend, along the 'Römer route', an old road originally built by the Romans. We arrived in a larger town named Ham at the evening, looking for a hotel to sleep. Being both students, and cheapskates who should've brought a tent and stayed at camping-sites, we were looking for the cheapest place possible. That meant going past most of/all the hotels/inns marked on our map and informing about the prices.

Getting gradually frustrated by the unfindability of some places that were clearly marked on the map, and tired/overheated from all the riding around in the sun, we stopped at a place with an elderly couple outside busy getting stuff out of their car. We asked about a certain hotel that should be nearby, telling them we were looking for a cheap place to stay ('because we're just students after all'). Apparently the hotel, the final on our map we planned on checking up on, having checked on most of the others in reach already, didn't exist any more. We told the elderly couple of our trouble with finding a cheap place to stay, but I guess they took it to mean that it absolutely wasn't an option for us to pay too much. In reality we had already decided among ourselves we would probably be going back to the first hotel, which was expensive compared to the other places we had stayed that vacation, but in comparison to the other hotels was the cheapest.

However, the elderly couple took our fate to their hearts. The elderly woman went inside, and phoned all the nearby hotels (including some which were too far to go back and forth to, but were doable if we went there and stayed there), informing about room availability and prices. Meanwhile, the elderly man brought us sprüdelwasser, aka carbonated water, and 2 pieces of chocolate. Given our exhausted, dehydrated and hungry state, we eagerly accepted. (Actually, we both don't like carbonated water, which is all they got in Germany, but since our bidons were empty, and it was a very nice gift, and I was thirsty as hell, I drank most of it anyway)

The lady came out again, telling us that most of the hotels she tried were by now full (dusk was setting in). She went into the house again and tried some others. Meanwhile the gentlemen told a story of how when he was young, and didn't have any money, spent a night voluntarily in a policecell. He simply went into a policestation, and asked wether he could spend the night given he had no other options. It wasn't comfortable, but it was affordable. Given the trouble we would figure that would mean for us, we decided against it for ourselves, though.

The elderly lady came out again, and explained a certain hotel (where we had checked earlier, and deemed too expensive) still had room. Another which was cheaper (the first one we checked! doh!) had run out of rooms in the meantime. We we're in doubt.
After some consultation between eachother, the couple actually offered us to stay in a room some 10 kilometers from their house, they apparently had available somewhere, where their daughter had lived a while back, but which was still in their possession. However, our bikes would either have to stay outside there, or in their garage where we were. Given that it were expensive bikes (mine was borrowed), we didn't consider keeping them outside an option, and walking 10 kilometer in a strange city in the morning to retrieve our bikes before we drove another 100-120 kilometers wasn't ideal either, so we politely declined their incredibly generous offer, explaining why, and said we'd settle for the more expensive hotel instead. I really hope we didn't seem ungrateful, because at that moment, I was wondering why we had deserved to meet such truly generous and great people.

Then they offered to lead us to the hotel, figuring we had trouble finding the right places earlier. Actually, we knew the route to this hotel, but we were unable to politely refuse their guidance; they insisted on taking us there and seeing we 'ended up ok'. So they drove in their little car, slowly, with us following on our bikes, untill we got there. The elderly gentleman accompanied us inside, bargained to try and bring down the price for us (I think he was succesful somewhat), and right before saying goodbye, handed us an envelope.

In it was a 20 euro bill, to help us cover our expenses. I was speechless. We didn't deserve such treatment. We were just 2 tired guys looking for a cheap place to stay, who actually could afford otherwise. But these people genuinely worried we couldn't, and helped us out.


Three days earlier, when we just started our trip and had to find an inn for the first time using our map, I mistranslated 'Gaststätte' as meaning 'hotel'. Instead, it means restaurant. I found out when asking a German lady (a mother, with kids in the back of her car) for directions to what I thought should be an inn very close by in a small village. She told me there wasn't an inn at the location I indicated, but a now closed restaurant. Upon seeing my bewilderment, and after I explained to her and my friend I had confused the words and that it meant riding for another 15 km for us to a place that we weren't sure was open, she promptly blurted out that, if the place wasn't open, we were free to return to this village and sleep at her house.

These 2 incidents combined sort of gave me my faith in humanity back. People being nice to two young, sweaty, perhaps underving, strangers, for no particular reason.
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Dro



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3854

PostPosted: Mon Aug 14, 2006 11:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Those were good stories.

Once, I was going to Alaska for some adventure, and had made it from Washington DC to the Seattle bus station after a long journey. I was waiting outside, thinking about my options, and dead tired. I think I was just dazedly staring off into space, trying to gather my wits and strength for the next steps, when this guy came up and offered me some "crack or hoes". It was incredibly generous, but I declined as politely as I could. We chatted for a while, and after saying where I was from he said, "Whooeee! I bet you got lots of bitches back there!" I still think of that guy, just seeing someone a little down and thinking of ways to lift their spirits.
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