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jwadd



Joined: 25 Jun 2007
Posts: 160

PostPosted: Sat Feb 06, 2016 6:43 pm    Post subject: Long time lurker sometimes poster Reply with quote

I'm not sure if this would be better in another thread but here goes:

In my 20s. Have had real bad luck making friends / meeting girls. Mostly at work, college, etc etc.

Lately the only thing I enjoy is trying new kinds of hash (not smoking every day, I literally only get excited when I've just bought some new hash I haven't tried yet) or a new microbrew IPA (never drinking to excess, at most i have 3 beers a week).

I have hobbies and shit but theyre all introverted hobbies.

I'm posting this because I'm not sure what my next step is. I wanted to post on an internet forum because I feel most at home on internet forums and its where I perceive there to be 'like minds.'

So in the spirit of Slick and nique and squigs, whats my next step?
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Yinello



Joined: 09 May 2012
Posts: 3384

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 1:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I guess the question is: What do you want? And I mean not in the sense of wanting friends but what is it you're seeking right now? Do you simply need people you can talk to about stuff? Or do you want them to be around you? Do you want them to join your hobbies or make you try new things? Do you want to make friends to fight the loneliness or because you feel you have to?

Also having online friends can be just as good as offline friends. I've gotten more support from my online friends in the past for bad issues because it was easier to talk to them about it. And over the years, some of those online friends became offline friends.
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Pineapple



Joined: 01 Jan 2015
Posts: 331

PostPosted: Mon Feb 08, 2016 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

my irl social group is ten times as large as it's ever been before
more friends, more lovers, etc etc

and yet
I never stopped
feeling
fucking
lonely

all.
the.
time.
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Mr Gary



Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 6858
Location: Some pub in England ... Uh, I mean, Scotland ... Uh, I mean, Spain ... Uh I mean Scotland again ...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 9:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yinello hits the nail right on it's head: what friends are you seeking?

Informed type advice: smoking, and/or drinking, are excellent gateways to meeting people, insofar as they lower your inhibitions and etc. But as alone type activities, they are the worst. They'll induce depression and dullness. Smoke up & slam beers communally. Which is I guess what you might be getting at in a like 'but how?' way - I guess that only because whatever.

But yes, going to the outside places, where the people are, alone, is a nasty and depressing business. Here, we need to rely on the trite and shopworn ideas: join a book club, a cooking class, a sex party. Arrive sober, leave exhausted.

Yet you have an advantage: you're in your twenties: it's the 21st century: it's getting weird as fuck. Jesus, I bet searching "I'm a weird fucker in my 20's WLTM similar in *NAME OF TOWN*" has a billion hits.

Actually, on reflection, I can't believe there's any kind of reason not to treat 'online friends' as friends. And build from there. I don't know, I'm pretty wasted. But it's the same way everyone on Sinfest Forum found Halen as a beautifully slippery sex partner.

Yeah, so I'm sat here with barely any pals, at nearly five am, failing to advise you on how to collect friends. I guess the thing I see in my popular pals is they don't worry about whether they're winning friends and influencing people.

"You will care way less about what other people think of you when you realise how seldom they do."
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Mr Gary



Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 6858
Location: Some pub in England ... Uh, I mean, Scotland ... Uh, I mean, Spain ... Uh I mean Scotland again ...

PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It occurs to me now that you might not know who 'Halen' is. He's basically an international sex dolphin. I say 'basically'. I mean 'exactly'.

He is exactly an international sex dolphin.
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 7271
Location: California

PostPosted: Mon Feb 15, 2016 10:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

don't worry though, like a regular dolphin, an international sex dolphin can be mollified and distracted with offerings of fish
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10887

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 10:43 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

ahh, it takes me back
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11028

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:38 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Any time I've met Halen, he's always been a gentle man
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11028

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Apart from that, Gary's spot on. Go to places where you might meet people but never for the sole purpose of meeting people. Or do. Just don't push it too hard
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11028

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 11:44 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Also friends, family and coworkers are a big part of not being lonely. Don't pin your hopes on a disney soulmate
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10887

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:54 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

grow a shit beard and sit in the most hipster coffeeshop you can find and awkwardly read books like Thus Spoke Zarathustra or The Fountainhead at an angle 'cleverly' designed to make sure any passing fe-males can see clearly the title of the book you are reading. occasionally clear your throat and say something like "AH HOW HEIDEGGERIAN" followed by a smirk that ensures people know how awesome you are at philosophical hermeneutics.

drink only deconstructed cold-press breve and dine on small kombucha pickle plates. dress like waldo/wally would in a Robert Wiene movie. listen solely to bands that are shitty efforts to be Boards of Canada and steer any conversation towards allowing yourself to name them in full to your quarry.
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Sam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10887

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 3:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

it's working for me so well that if i died tomorrow i would be mourned briefly by the deputy who crowbars my door open to fulfill an eviction order and finds my months-dead corpse hunched over a remaindered macbook, fingers still stiffly perched on the keys, rigored in the midst of my sole postmortem post, solely consisting of "i am posting in this high quality thread" in solid lowercase

if that is not living richly i do not know what is
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 7271
Location: California

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 7:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

that's ridiculous sam, we all know you would be posting "buttz" and various permutations thereof upon everything
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 4717
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Tue Feb 16, 2016 8:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jwadd - What are some of your hobbies? There might be social groups that have something to do with them.
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Mr Gary



Joined: 29 Apr 2009
Posts: 6858
Location: Some pub in England ... Uh, I mean, Scotland ... Uh, I mean, Spain ... Uh I mean Scotland again ...

PostPosted: Wed Feb 17, 2016 2:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Jwadd, are you posting in high quality threads? If not, ridiculation may be too much for you. Also, the other memes.

#2%bodyfat
#greatestwhiterapperalive
#dogstandingupwearingalabcoatforsomereason
#mashtags

Also, people to ask: not us. Because we're your friends.
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