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Mr Gary

Joined: 30 Apr 2009 Posts: 6165 Location: Some pub in England
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:44 pm Post subject: The Terrible Joke Thread |
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Hi guys, so I believe we once had a terrible joke thread, but fuck knows where it went. If I might be so bold ...
Q. What type of cheese would you use to hide a small horse?
A. Mascapone.
So I went to the market the other day, and this dude starts chucking cheese at me, just throwing cheddar at me and everything. I pulled him up, said 'Oi. That's not very mature, is it?'
Dude starts throwing all kindsa milk and butter at me, cream, everything. How dare he!
I walked past the fridge before, man I could swear I could hear onions singing Bee Gees songs. Don't worry, it was just chives talkin'.
So my friend told me he thinks he's the brightest star in the night sky. Don't worry though, I don't think he's being Sirius.
Hey, when does cheese get taken off you? When it's ... NACHO CHEESE!
etc _________________
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ShadowCell

Joined: 03 Aug 2008 Posts: 5275 Location: California
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:48 pm Post subject: |
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| What's the opposite of Christopher Walken? Christopher Reeves. |
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Mr Gary

Joined: 30 Apr 2009 Posts: 6165 Location: Some pub in England
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:50 pm Post subject: |
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I'm writing a song about tortilla bread. Well, it's more of a wrap actually. _________________
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Michael

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10432
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:51 pm Post subject: |
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| Mr Gary wrote: | | I'm writing a song about tortilla bread. Well, it's more of a wrap actually. |
WIN |
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Mr Gary

Joined: 30 Apr 2009 Posts: 6165 Location: Some pub in England
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Posted: Thu Sep 01, 2011 11:57 pm Post subject: |
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I was at the beach the other day, couldn't help myself, stole an inflatable. Best lilo for a while. _________________
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Snorri

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10706 Location: hiding the decline.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 1:44 am Post subject: |
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man I heard the best joke today. _________________
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Oneponytoruleall
Joined: 02 Jan 2011 Posts: 3114
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 2:08 am Post subject: |
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| Mr Gary wrote: | | I was at the beach the other day, couldn't help myself, stole an inflatable. Best lilo for a while. |
I heard about that. |
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Darqcyde

Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 9086 Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.
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Posted: Fri Sep 02, 2011 8:08 pm Post subject: |
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Gary's mum is a really nice lady that no one can say anything bad about.
Yeah, i thought that was pretty unfunny too _________________
...if a single leaf holds the eye, it will be as if the remaining leaves were not there.
http://12ozlb.blogspot.com |
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Atrophy Annie

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 1596 Location: Your Mom
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 2:01 am Post subject: |
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Horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?"
A sandwich walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food here." _________________ Way to kill the conversation, Patty.- Trevor |
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Sam

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8840
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 9:25 pm Post subject: |
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here, I've got a bad joke for you:
"Wearing clothes that attract attention for the purpose of attracting attention stems from a desire on the side of the woman for love, if not actual sex. She may be married, or have a significant other, but if she is alone at a bar wearing those clothes she still has a desire for love (from a person she approves of, of course). Now men see this desire and *will* respond in kind. This is a known danger, and if a woman didn't expect attention from sexually minded guys then she is an idiot as much as the person who decided not to wear a seatbelt. What happens from there may not be under her control, but she put herself in that position and should have thouht a little before doing so."
- Mellowfish, circa 2006 |
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Snorri

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10706 Location: hiding the decline.
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Posted: Sat Sep 03, 2011 10:26 pm Post subject: |
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| Sam wrote: | here, I've got a bad joke for you:
"Wearing clothes that attract attention for the purpose of attracting attention stems from a desire on the side of the woman for love, if not actual sex. She may be married, or have a significant other, but if she is alone at a bar wearing those clothes she still has a desire for love (from a person she approves of, of course). Now men see this desire and *will* respond in kind. This is a known danger, and if a woman didn't expect attention from sexually minded guys then she is an idiot as much as the person who decided not to wear a seatbelt. What happens from there may not be under her control, but she put herself in that position and should have thouht a little before doing so."
- Mellowfish, circa 2006 |
Good times. _________________
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tinkeringIdiot

Joined: 13 Oct 2008 Posts: 1057
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:43 pm Post subject: |
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Q: How did the hipster burn his mouth?
A: He ate his dinner before it was cool. |
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Flavius Maximus

Joined: 07 May 2011 Posts: 717 Location: The Wrong side of the Reality Zone Sign
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Posted: Sun Sep 18, 2011 9:56 pm Post subject: |
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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
The bartender turns to them, takes one look, and says, "What is this - some kind of joke?" _________________ Awesome Happens |
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LD!

Joined: 11 Nov 2006 Posts: 1140 Location: Just west of the Atlantic
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Michael

Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10432
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Posted: Mon Sep 19, 2011 3:59 am Post subject: |
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I'm just gonna rerun my google+ account here, seems entirely appropriate
*cough*
ahem!
Oh Monday! Tuesday and of course Wednesday. Thursday & Friday. Saturday! And who could forget Sunday?
Ah those were the days.
Those were the days. |
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