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Feminism because why not make a thread for it?
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3152

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel like an ass but after that story i totally went and checked the craigslist missed connections in your area just to see if he was THAT kind of persistent too.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6071

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, earlier this week I had a guy say hi and I was pretty indifferent about it (you know, generic polite hi back) and before he could go any further this lady (who may or may not have been homeless? it's common for this neighborhood) sat down right between us and started muttering to herself.

He left. I considered thanking her but she seemed pretty invested in that conversation with herself so I respected that and left her alone.

Basically it's not hard to be the anti-wingman and honestly even if someone else had just joined in the conversation to divert attention away from me I woulda been grateful. It doesn't strike me as condescending at all, especially if you can tell from body language that one person is really uncomfortable.
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Samsally the GrayAce
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6071

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Monkey Mcdermott wrote:
I feel like an ass but after that story i totally went and checked the craigslist missed connections in your area just to see if he was THAT kind of persistent too.


Hahahaha oh my god I wouldn't even be surprised.

Well, I'd be a little surprised, but only because there was a whole bit in there that involved him explaining to me how tablet's are ~just like~ cell phones and he's on break but still getting a degree in "computer technology" so.

The details are escaping me now but he did manage to list off what I think was every single class he's ever taken and none of them struck me as the kind of class someone computer-savvy would be bragging about. And then he explained how someone "off the street" would get hired right away because they could pay him whatever they wanted but he's gunna have trouble getting a job because they're gunna have to pay him "what he's worth" even if his work is shitty. This was somewhere around attempt 1 of desperately trying to just play my game and hope he goes away so I wasn't paying all that much attention.

I can't make this up, man, it was the most awkward conversation I've had in a long long time. I guess the time that one guy wouldn't give me my hand back was probably scarier but only because I was alone then and at least I had witnesses in the coffee shop.
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Samsally the GrayAce
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Echo



Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Posts: 230

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 8:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I feel for you. Those situations are horrible and you're forced to either move, leave, have an awkward conversation or confront the guy and have an argument, when all you really wanted was coffee, a bagel and some quiet gaming.
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 16633
Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Fri Jan 10, 2014 10:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

we need to come up with some sort of foolproof conversation-ender. something that just says "i really don't want to have a long conversation with you". except i guess not that explicit, because you don't want to run the risk that they will get nasty.

when you got to the "never say never" thing about babies, i was tempted to suggest something like: "well, the thing is, i have this really horrible genetic disease which is probably going to kill me in the next 5 years and i would never ever want to pass that along", but then you run the risk that he will offer to make your last years the best ever, or something.

maybe learn to palm pepper, so you can fake a sneezing fit?

but really, you - any of us - shouldn't have to play those games. so maybe we can come up with some sort of verbal conversation-ender? although, clearly and pointedly directing your attention to something else (like your game) should have sent the signal, i guess.....

but man, it really feels like there ought to be something you could say that isn't an outright lie but still sends a strong 'you really want to walk away from this table NOW' message.
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jwing



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 2115

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

You could always follow the example of Jenna Marbles and do The Face.

This link goes to YouTube.
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
Posts: 4499
Location: No.

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Awkward conversations, people who tie you in to their agendas, rape apologists, and annoying v-loggers?

Just the last few pages of this thread are well on their way to outlining the broad spectrum of reasons I avoid even cursory contact with human beings in general whenever possible.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 8:57 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

If I didn't have awkward conversations I'd never get to talk to anyone. Sad
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:37 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, there's good-awkward, and then there's bad-awkward.

Good-awkward can be incredibly fulfilling! Although, in this context, "incredibly" often only means "somewhat" or "at least it fills the gnawing emptiness of our temporal existence."
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fritterdonut



Joined: 24 Jul 2012
Posts: 1082
Location: Hedonism

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 9:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly, I'm pretty fucking flabbergasted that people actually do that.

I mean, and I'm saying this as a guy, I could never, ever see myself just walking up and introducing myself to someone and trying to flirt (or even have a conversation) with someone.

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a very solitary person but Jesus the idea of trying to talk to some random person with no kind of connection (like a mutual friend, coworkers, etc) just makes my skin crawl. Much less flirt with them. Confused
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 5:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

fritterdonut wrote:
Honestly, I'm pretty fucking flabbergasted that people actually do that.

I mean, and I'm saying this as a guy, I could never, ever see myself just walking up and introducing myself to someone and trying to flirt (or even have a conversation) with someone.

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a very solitary person but Jesus the idea of trying to talk to some random person with no kind of connection (like a mutual friend, coworkers, etc) just makes my skin crawl. Much less flirt with them. Confused

Yeah... I talk to people all the time.* But never like that. He needs to be sent back to kindergarten to learn social cues. I think it's great when people are willing to put themselves out there generally, but there needs to be a signal light you can turn on when you need someone to run in and say, "You're freaking this person the fuck out, step away from the table!"

* I guess not really like that... I strike up conversations with baristas, other people in queues, bank tellers, or people sharing a bus stop. So there's a context. The only time I approach people out of the blue is if they look lost.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6071

PostPosted: Sat Jan 11, 2014 7:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Honestly it would have been totally fine if the conversation had just been about my tablet and then ended. I have conversations like that a lot with strangers and I have no problem with them, even if they are kind of out of the blue. I'll even strike them up myself if there's something about any given situation worth commenting on. Sometimes people really are just friendly and that's totally cool with me. I'm not going to swap phone numbers and become besties but it ends up being something small to brighten the day.

This was just not that.
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Samsally the GrayAce
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Thy Brilliance



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3440
Location: Relative

PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:19 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
fritterdonut wrote:
Honestly, I'm pretty fucking flabbergasted that people actually do that.

I mean, and I'm saying this as a guy, I could never, ever see myself just walking up and introducing myself to someone and trying to flirt (or even have a conversation) with someone.

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a very solitary person but Jesus the idea of trying to talk to some random person with no kind of connection (like a mutual friend, coworkers, etc) just makes my skin crawl. Much less flirt with them. Confused

Yeah... I talk to people all the time.* But never like that. He needs to be sent back to kindergarten to learn social cues. I think it's great when people are willing to put themselves out there generally, but there needs to be a signal light you can turn on when you need someone to run in and say, "You're freaking this person the fuck out, step away from the table!"

* I guess not really like that... I strike up conversations with baristas, other people in queues, bank tellers, or people sharing a bus stop. So there's a context. The only time I approach people out of the blue is if they look lost.


Man, if you are a businessman/salesman you have to approach random people all the time and convince them to buy your product.

There are people that are comfortable talking to the entirety of humanity in almost any situation imaginable.

Their jobs depend on that very skill.
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Monkey Mcdermott



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 3152

PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 1:40 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Thy Brilliance wrote:
Dogen wrote:
fritterdonut wrote:
Honestly, I'm pretty fucking flabbergasted that people actually do that.

I mean, and I'm saying this as a guy, I could never, ever see myself just walking up and introducing myself to someone and trying to flirt (or even have a conversation) with someone.

Maybe it's just the fact that I'm a very solitary person but Jesus the idea of trying to talk to some random person with no kind of connection (like a mutual friend, coworkers, etc) just makes my skin crawl. Much less flirt with them. Confused

Yeah... I talk to people all the time.* But never like that. He needs to be sent back to kindergarten to learn social cues. I think it's great when people are willing to put themselves out there generally, but there needs to be a signal light you can turn on when you need someone to run in and say, "You're freaking this person the fuck out, step away from the table!"

* I guess not really like that... I strike up conversations with baristas, other people in queues, bank tellers, or people sharing a bus stop. So there's a context. The only time I approach people out of the blue is if they look lost.


Man, if you are a businessman/salesman you have to approach random people all the time and convince them to buy your product.

There are people that are comfortable talking to the entirety of humanity in almost any situation imaginable.

Their jobs depend on that very skill.


And the vast majority of people in america at least, fucking hate cold calling salesmen with a fiery passion.
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Echo



Joined: 18 Jul 2013
Posts: 230

PostPosted: Sun Jan 12, 2014 8:32 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

The tactics of this particular guy, thinking about it, seem more like those of a Pick Up Artist than a salesman to me. Which puts him in a whole new level of creepy.
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