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Feminism because why not make a thread for it?
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10648

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 9:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
Yeah, I imagine it probably does make some guys uncomfortable. I like it, though. Smile


considering not scrolling up now
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Finnegan



Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 1080
Location: in that cool mountain air, on an appalachian trail

PostPosted: Mon Jun 17, 2013 10:06 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

as someone who finds themself in a hospital setting fairly often I tend to prefer male nurses. not to sound sexist but there seem to be women nurses who enter the field because it seems socially acceptable for them, but the male nurses seem to be nurses out of a genuine desire to help. (this certainly does not apply to all female nurses, but is just a pattern I've noticed).
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6327

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:31 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hahaha, for once we're NOT talking about something horrific, Michael. Just socialization at work. Let me ruin that for you by bringing up things like gynecologists and whatnot.

Finn: I'd make the worst nurse in the history of ever. A combination of horribly squeamish and not actually that fond of people.

The whole preferring a certain gender in your medical practitioners is definitely a thing that seems to come up. There are a lot of women who prefer male gynecologists for a number of reasons and there are others (like me) that feel pretty mortified by the idea.

I think, ultimately, it's a dick move to make people feel shitty about their choices in medical professionals. It seems like there are really valid arguments on all sides for why people prefer what they do and ALL of it is tainted by societal assumptions in one way or another because society is just like that and it doesn't seem like it would be very practical to nitpick? I don't know if I'm actually making sense.
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Lasairfiona



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 9702
Location: I have to be somewhere? ::runs around frantically::

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 1:47 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had both sexes in the medical profession make me feel uncomfortable. They just shouldn't be skeevy or not talk to me. Or talk to me like I don't know what is going on in my own body (recent male gyno). Or pull my pants down to check my girl parts (female doctor when I was a kid - apparently she thought I was being raped at home so she checked...)

I imagine being in the medical profession is hard but damn they have pissed me off before. Of course, I have also had some really awesome doctors. Yeah...

Derail?

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Before God created Las he pondered on all the aspects a woman might have, he considered which ones would look good super-inflated and which ones to leave alone.
After much deliberation he gave her a giant comfort zone. - Michael
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:01 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Sometimes I wonder if there exists a woman that hasn't had some sort of traumatizing experience with a gyno or nurse practitioner. Like, I visibly recoiled from the computer while reading that, Las. Sorry you had those experiences. I've had some pretty awful ones, too. I mean besides the general apathy towards my special snowflake libido, there was that one that apparently didn't believe me when I told her I was a virgin and made me bleed by being too rough.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's okay to derail a thread that is over 200 pages long already.
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Theia



Joined: 31 May 2013
Posts: 90
Location: California

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:02 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

For more derail: what exactly is going on in your profile picture? @Lasairfiona
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6327

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think the laser beams were from a discussion where someone admitted to pronouncing her name as Laser Fiona in their head? As a result I STILL think of her as Laser Fiona, even though I know it's wrong now.

The original picture comes from El Goonish Shive.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3147
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:07 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've had about equal problems with men and women doctors. I'm no good telling stories, so it's pretty impossible for me to get them to understand the problem. Hence the diagnsis of asthma (which turned out to be social anxiety) stuck around when it clearly wasn't a real thing, but the diagnosis of hypothyroidism a previous doctor had given me was overturned - by the same doctor who decided I had asthma.

I don't feel like sharing the creepy, so instead general complaints. (It really can't be helped, though, because the local poor clinic goes through a lot of doctors who have barely any time to learn about patients.)
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Lasairfiona



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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Location: I have to be somewhere? ::runs around frantically::

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 2:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Theia - What Samsally said. Squeezing the boobs makes the lasers come out.

Samsally - sorry about making you cringe. I rarely remember it happened. I remember being rather angry and irritated. I don't remember being traumatized though we never went back to that doctor again (OBVIOUSLY).

stripeypants - I have a locked text file on my phone specifically for listing specific issues to bring up in front of the doctor. Otherwise I forget or explain it badly. Might help?

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Before God created Las he pondered on all the aspects a woman might have, he considered which ones would look good super-inflated and which ones to leave alone.
After much deliberation he gave her a giant comfort zone. - Michael
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TIAB



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 683

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 4:12 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Reading these horrible experiences just brought something back to me.

When my grandma was in the advanced stage of Parkinson's but still doing well enough to walk with some assistance, I had to bring her in to the doctor. I forget exactly what exactly they were looking for, but they were doing an ultrasound on her chest. A female doctor came in and insisted that I be in the room for this while my grandma disrobed. I averted my eyes out of courtesy and when they were done with the ultrasound, they threw a towel at me in disgust and told me to clean the coupling gel off of her chest before slamming the door. I honestly don't even remember what the doctor looked like, I just remember being horrified at the behavior and embarrassed for my grandmother who was clearly not comfortable with me seeing her this way, let alone actually putting my hands on her to clean her. She had great difficulty speaking at that point, but I could see in her eyes that she understood the situation and after that display, she'd rather it was me cleaning her up anyway. We never went back to that clinic.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
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Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I've tried using a notebook before, doesn't work for me. Like, if I could just write up a thing and have them read it before I get there, that'd be great. Eventually I'll figure something out. I've been pondering just dragging another person in with me, so they can help out.

That is really horrible, Tiab. No real words for how assholish that behavior is.
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
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Location: No.

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 8:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samsally wrote:
I think the laser beams were from a discussion where someone admitted to pronouncing her name as Laser Fiona in their head? As a result I STILL think of her as Laser Fiona, even though I know it's wrong now.

The original picture comes from El Goonish Shive.


That avatar is actually indirectly responsible for my avatar.

Google -> HAF -> Sinfest -> Lasairfiona -> EGS -> Dan Shive -> MLP -> and here we are
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Adyon



Joined: 27 May 2012
Posts: 1160
Location: Behind my Cintiq

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 8:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samsally wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if there exists a woman that hasn't had some sort of traumatizing experience with a gyno or nurse practitioner.

I know. It's so annoying. It pisses me off about laws that are in place, such as with birth control. And of course my wife feels EXTREMELY strong about this, because she had a horrible scarring experience.


Sorry this is LONG, but it's a very personal experience my wife and I had wanted to share in a place where it would be better received.

My wife got on birth control about 16 years old, not because she needed it for birth control, but because she has HORRIBLE periods that are pretty much crippling PLUS she had 2 weeks off and then a 10 day period. She'd been miserable for years. With the patch, she could leave it on for 3 months then have a 7 day period, then another 3 months, so only 4 periods a year. Unfortunately, at 18, her doctor had left, and basically her Mom told her she would need to be examined if she wanted to get birth control. Her mom was a bit awkward about actually talking to them about things, so she never really did. She never really told her or prepped her for what they'd do. Then when she was in there, she had a horrible experience where the woman doing it was a newbie who was not gentle, pretty much distant and ignored her. She wasn't really ever asked if she was ready, prepped for what was going to happen, AND she didn't realize at the time she could even say no. Nor did she really have an option seeing as she needed birth control to stay sane.

After that experience, which for all intent and purposes psychologically amounted to rape, she not only had constant PTSD for a couple years, but she had to deal with the fact that if she wanted to continue birth control, she HAD to visit once a year. Because...you know...somebody made it a law that they need to check that. Yet as my wife has researched and learned extensively, they don't even check for the actual side-effects of the drug. Everything they're checking for occurs from having random sexual partners. So, basically the law is written that if you're on birth control, it must be because you're having sex. You can't talk to them and tell them you're not. You just get to go or no birth control. So, it felt to her like having to BE voluntarily "raped" every year if she wanted to not be miserable. I can't tell you how much I cried wanting to help her and not knowing how. There wasn't anyone else (it felt like) who really sympathized with her to help either. Even her own mother pretty much thought she was just being over-dramatic and wrote her off.

Finally, I did manage a solution. After like 2-3 years of having to go in and the increased response to her PTSD after each time, I finally found a way. I basically sent in her prescription to a Canadian pharmacy. After it ran out, I proceeded to Photoshop the date on the prescription and continue to get it there. I'd never felt better to be able to help her. Everything got better after awhile. We did that for several years, and she slowly got to get over her actual dreadful fear of it. But even now, because of that, years later, she still has problems, most of which will only fade but never vanish. Maybe. Honestly, finally we did something a couple months ago that has made her feel like a new lease on life. We got her a partial hysterectomy. After years of her Mom (and EVERYONE else) telling her no one would do it, because she's too young (25 now) and never had a kid, we forced the issue and went looking through her Aunt's help. First doctor was more than happy to if she was sure she never wanted to give birth. So, it's done. I was so happy after to see the change in her of relief. I'm almost about to cry thinking about it. >.>

And as much as I am happy at the outcome, I'm more annoyed by the hurdles that came to this. Her Mom and Sister acting like she was some monster for not wanting to have kids. Other people reacting surprised and wondering why too. And of course the guilt...Sure I WOULD want a kid. She was depriving me of my children. /rage I swear I had more people consoling ME about her doing the surgery than her. I was like, "I...DON'T...CAREEE! One, it's her body. Two, I want HER, not what she can offer me. And THREE, we're a great couple! WE HAVE TALKED ABOUT THIS EXTENSIVELY!" We figure that when the time comes, we'll adopt. Plus we knew that if it comes down to it and we decide we have to have our own, we can do a surrogate. It costs more to have someone do that, but it's worth it to preserve the love of my life's sanity! Besides we both knew she wouldn't be able to have kids, because she'd be forced to go to the doctor all the time, PLUS child birth now scared the hell out of her.

Anyway, back to the happy note. She's better, feeling like she was reborn, and we're extremely happy! Yay!


Sorry. We'd needed to share that more, and this is a decent place to be able to share this story where people will ACTUALLY understand instead of the usual "Eh, it's no big deal" response I get from most people. Cause..."everyone does it", so it's alright.
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Finnegan



Joined: 01 May 2007
Posts: 1080
Location: in that cool mountain air, on an appalachian trail

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 9:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Samsally wrote:
Sometimes I wonder if there exists a woman that hasn't had some sort of traumatizing experience with a gyno or nurse practitioner. Like, I visibly recoiled from the computer while reading that, Las. Sorry you had those experiences. I've had some pretty awful ones, too. I mean besides the general apathy towards my special snowflake libido, there was that one that apparently didn't believe me when I told her I was a virgin and made me bleed by being too rough.

Also, I'm pretty sure it's okay to derail a thread that is over 200 pages long already.


In my limited experience from various girlfriends in the past, all have expressed awkwardness, discomfort/ uncomfortableness, and a general sense of violation at gynecological visits. I don't know if any of that translates to a traumatic experience but there was always significant reluctance to keep appointments. I'm somewhat embarrassed to admit that it always super creeped me out to think of men going into gynecology until I finally realized that they probably got into the field focusing on obstetrics and most likely weren't sleazy like I had thought. In my defense, though, that impression was imparted to me by girlfriends with not so great experiences with male gynecologists.
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 6327

PostPosted: Tue Jun 18, 2013 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oh my god all these horrible stories I'm so sorry everyone that went through that stuff. All of this has reminded me I'm long over due for a yearly and aaaaaaah I don't want to go.

In completely unrelated news, this made me giggle a lot.
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