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Looking for honest feedback on my hobby project

 
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jwadd



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 6:09 am    Post subject: Looking for honest feedback on my hobby project Reply with quote

http://www.happyspooky.com

please be brutally honest.


Also how does one network in the wonderful world of webcomics?
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3448
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think I see what you're going for, though as someone who doesn't keep up with every tech related thing, I'm probably not your audience.

I think your characters don't look excited enough by their wacky hi-jinx, and you need to do more to make the hijinx actually seem wacky. I think you're almost there.

I also think you should not copy/paste your characters from one panel to the other. That can work, but I think you need more going on in the panels for that.

You seem to have a handle on not just doing talking heads, which is great. I'd suggest playing with camera angles sometime, and not being zoomed up all the time.

With this strip:
http://happyspooky.com/comic/comic-004/
I think there wasn't enough room for your joke. It feels disjointed. I get that you're building up the Oculus Rift character to be off-kilter, but you didn't do enough to set up panel 2. I expected panel 3 to have something more to do with his plans, but nothing happened.

I'd like the characters to look at each other. They stare down or at the camera, or off to the side somewhere. If they're talking to each other, they should look at each other.

Good luck! I hope you can stick with it!
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jwadd



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 7:29 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Would larger backgrounds with more detail work for wacky hijinks? computers as big as houses?

For comic 4 i was thinking of redoing it with 6 panels for pacing. yes nothing happens cause there may be dialogue that got cut.

copying and pasting panels is out of time contraint.

I wanted this to be a kind of 'talking heads' with slow slow character development. IDK if thats actually a thing.

while we're on it, do you think it would benefit greatly from color? and also since you said you're not the target audience, if there was a greater variety of comics about movies and gaming would you be more likely to read more?
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3448
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 8:08 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think backing up from the characters might help. I don't know. I think XKCD does really good with sparse backgrounds and barely distinguishing features for the characters. It's something to play around with.

Fair enough. I think if you at least could move the pupils around to show the characters are looking at stuff and each other, that would help.

A slow development talking heads thing could be cool. Can't remember any comics that do that off the top of my head, but it'd be good to look at some that exist and see what you think they did that worked.

I don't think it needs color, it's fine in black and white. I don't see many films or keep up with pop culture as much as a lot of people. So for me, I'd just read it for what the characters do. I used to read Checkerboard Nightmare, which had a lot of references I didn't get at the time, but the characters were easy to understand and really enjoyable to me.

It looks to me like you're developing the characters and trying to establish what they are like, which is good.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10954
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:46 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know anything about comics. I like this one. I think the cut-n-paste gets me, because the characters have enough features on their face to make it seem like they should be expressing emotion, but then they express the same emotion through multiple panels. So, I guess what I'm saying is I'd like it if they varied more (I assume it would also help to carry jokes - looking curious in panel one but incredulous in panel two, etc). I agree comic 4 needs more space to get the point across. I didn't immediately get it the way I got the Segway/Occulus joke.
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jwadd



Joined: 26 Jun 2007
Posts: 146

PostPosted: Sat Sep 13, 2014 5:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

awesome thanks
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