Sinfest

Dennis J. Squidbunny · Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:22 pm Post subject:

Penny McNichols folded the children's clothes gently, placed them in a cardboard box. She walked the cardboard box down the hall, through the basement door, and put it on the top shelf of an old wooden cupboard. When she came back upstairs, a car back fired, and she screamed.

Dennis J. Squidbunny · Posted: Sat Dec 22, 2012 9:26 pm Post subject:

"The Slanchman's have been growing corn here for four generations, and we're not moving now!" said Whanesley, patriarch of the Middlehook Slanchmans."

Middlehook County Bank's head of resposessions, Meaureguard Codgebert seethed, his round bald head turned the colour of a good beet, and his teeth snapped through the end of his guitar.

"Whanesley!" he said, "I don't give a God god damn about corn! I just want you to hold me!"

Heretical Rants · Joined: 21 Jul 2009 Posts: 2507

Mr Gary · Posted: Sun Dec 23, 2012 2:58 am Post subject:

Joshua 'Joystick' Elephantisis, philanderer and yachtsman.
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WheelsOfConfusion · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10741 Location: Unknown Kaddath

The world may not have ended on December 21st, 2012, but Donald Poon was now wishing it had. Weary of constant troubleshooting, he finally gave the venture up. Carefully putting away his tools, he consigned the non-functional Doomsday Machine to the curb for garbage collection, and poured himself a drink from the small bar he'd installed in his basement lair. "The Man Cave," he'd described it to his wife. "The Poon Cave," he'd called it in his heart of hearts.
Perhaps "Super Villain" was not the hobby for him, after all.

Heretical Rants · Joined: 21 Jul 2009 Posts: 2507

A chill sprang up from the base of Lloyd's neck, and he twitched, the box of children's clothes tumbling from his arms. He stopped, looking down at his upturned palms, quivering from some unknown fear.

His collection of children's clothes had grown, certainly. Perhaps he would finally win some recognition from the Foundation. But still, Lloyd couldn't shake the feeling that he had made one too many enemies.

He swore that he would quit tomorrow, and got to work categorizing the socks.
Outside, a car backfired, and Lloyd Limoney's eye started twitching uncontrollably for the first time in many years.
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butts

fritterdonut · Joined: 24 Jul 2012 Posts: 269 Location: Krieg ohne Hass.

Brimly Wahrnacht the Third was a troubled man. He was driving a stolen car. A stolen car that happened to have a body in the back seat and $500,000 in stolen silverware in the trunk. Silverware that happened to be stolen from Buckingham palace.

These were, however, the least of Brimly's worries; As the Rolls Royce flew off the cliff edge and in to the wild blue yonder.

WheelsOfConfusion · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10741 Location: Unknown Kaddath

Merv Scamperson and Eddie van Tillplunder thought they were in the clear. They assumed that daybreak would see them enjoying their ill-gotten 8 million simoleans on the beaches of Cozumel, sipping overpriced fountain drinks from frosted glasses with tiny parasols stuck in them (the drinks, not the two bandits). What they couldn't have foreseen was that their heist had upped the dander of the one man who could bring them to justice. As their getaway Weinermobile sped off into the distance, Maxlaw Snacklord donned his pursuin' hat and prepared to give chase.