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The Character Name Clearinghouse for Idiots
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 21 Jul 2009
Posts: 5344
Location: No.

PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

David Ryder parachuted into the war zone, a smug grin on his face. He turned to one of his subordinates. "Pemdywhoops, you're on reconnaissance!" he barked.

"But sir, I've only been trained as canon fodder!"

"Today, you rise above that position, private! Now get moving!"

Ryder stood with his hands firmly on his hips, watching as his underling scurried off, and a single tear rolled across his chiseled cheek as Barack Obama cheerfully cartwheeled into position. "Ready to engage," Obama said, his energy beam already charging and ready to fire.

"Shoot him down, sir. We can't let him fall into enemy hands," Ryder ordered the president calmly, steeling his heart as he turned away from the scene and marched off toward enemy territory. A low hum followed by a zap marked the end. He did not look back.




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oh noes I went over the word limit
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WheelsOfConfusion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 13809
Location: Unknown Kaddath

PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 8:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Once upon a time, there was a young girl named Crapsatchel Smith. She grew to resent her parents very much.
The end.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 4728
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Fri Oct 18, 2013 9:31 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hwypdy Poglegymper
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WheelsOfConfusion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 13809
Location: Unknown Kaddath

PostPosted: Sun Mar 19, 2017 6:26 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Having creamed her competition and buttered up the right heir, one Ms. Besby Dayton had risen to the top of the dairy magnate's family business. But she was still not rich enough. Determined to milk the curdled old fool for all he was worth, she now prepared her dress and recited the vows. Soon, very soon, she would be Mrs. Besby Dayton-Baudelle. And then it would be only a matter of time before the groom's expiration date arrived.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 11033

PostPosted: Sat Mar 25, 2017 2:01 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aston Villa
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Taemon



Joined: 08 Aug 2013
Posts: 1282
Location: Europe

PostPosted: Tue Mar 28, 2017 11:46 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm not sure what this thread's about, but there's a Dutch journalist by the name of Wierd Duk. This cheers me up immensely.
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