Sinfest

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm a part of insert major religion here and what you will notice most startlingly about my individual loving interpretation of insert major religion here is that I have selectively interpreted it based on a combination of pathological routes towards excusing my own needs-based and opportunity advantages and action in combination with ignoring the parts of the religion I don't like.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm atheist and I believe that in honor of prophet Carl Sagan (PBUH) I shall post this shitthatdidnthappen.txt transcript of a conversation with an Xtian or possibly a facebook thread to r/atheism on reddit and advance humanity out of the dark ages.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I am a stunningly impersonable and slightly insane person who writes rationalist headcannon of harry potter on lesswrong, with harry himself acting the part of obvious mary sue, and am dedicated to creating the transhumanist technological AI singularity and turning myself into pure illuminated data. If you don't sign up for cryonics you are an idiot and if you don't sign your kids up for cryonics you are a bad parent, categorically. I'm a hero and you should recognize that.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm a unitarian universalist and I really think that communitarian living without power structure of any sort is really going to work and I really think that jesus is totally a hoopy frood who would be down with that sort of thing, I'm also completely nonviolent unless at an Occupy protest and I pretty legitimately never bathe and I have no idea why my kids could not get away from me fast enough.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm a Seventh-Day Adventist and I consider myself a legitimate modern-day prophet and am ironically (given my sect's history) legitimately never able to tell that my predictions are always turning up wrong and this is due to my elegant refinement of cognitive dissonance. I believe that there is a literal anti-meteor shield made purely of angels that deflect space rocks with the power of pure benevolence, and that if America in particular legalizes gay marriage, God's gonna have a snitfit about it and turn it off so that we all get vaporized.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm a Mormon with a temple recommend and I did all that crazy shit like take the pledge to cause suffering and ruin upon America because of that whole thing that went down with polygamy but I'm not supposed to talk about that or the whole baptism by proxy thing and I really do legitimately wear the for serious magic underwear and have a secret name. I really don't understand why people think they have the right to mock my beliefs and yesterday I called a transsexual a monster borne of molestation that intends only to corrupt children.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm an Orthodox Jewish woman who is also homosexual and I'm part of a group of modern-day Kahanites which pretty much wants to exterminate the Palestinians who don't leave the second we tell them to because g-d says this is our land bitch eat it. Strangely while on 99.9999999% of issues if you disagree with orthodox rabbanical teachings about judaism I will tell you you are completely wrong and it is not subject to review and there is absolutely no room for convenient re-interpretations no matter what. However because I'm a lesbian I somehow think it should be okay for orthodox frum to let women have sex with women. But not men having sex with other men, that's obviously right out. Anyway let's talk about likud.

fritterdonut · Joined: 24 Jul 2012 Posts: 269 Location: Krieg ohne Hass.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

I'm an Objectivist who absolutely believes that when Ayn Rand, a coke addict and rape fetishist who died poor and on welfare, was pretty much totally right about everything and I know this because I read really terribly written capitalism porn where free thinking bootstrappy individuals are totally proven right and sneering socialists are always wrong and usually die with their terrible anti-freedom sneers on their damn faces. She said things like A=A and man qua man which are absolutely totally right because of reasons, and no amount of critical ethical, logical, sociological, economic, or philosophical review of the base unsubstantiated tenets of her pseudorational ideal is allowed to change that fact because dagny and also free markets, okay? Anyway if you get sick and can't pay for surgery so what life isn't fair you should be left on the sidewalk to die.

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

WheelsOfConfusion · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10741 Location: Unknown Kaddath

I'm a Jackist. I believe we are all part of the greater Jack, who is also known as the All-Jack or Jack-All, and that we each have our purpose in the design of Jack-All. The most important part of this religion is discovering who you are, and what your purpose is in Jack-All.
I am Jack's raging bile duct.

WheelsOfConfusion · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10741 Location: Unknown Kaddath

Michael · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10264

I am so not a foreigner :(

Michael · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10264

Seriously, how dare you?

Michael · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10264

I live here, you know?