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Write Gary a letter of reference
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10954
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:42 pm    Post subject: Write Gary a letter of reference Reply with quote

So Gary is applying for jobs, and I told him we would all be a reference for him. Feel free to write a nice reference for him here, so he can direct prospective employers to read them. I'll start.

Letter one:
Have you seen his cock? Me either, but if it would get me a beer I'd let him show me.

Letter two:
I love Gary more than he loves LiLo, and I have the sore wrist to prove it.

Letter three:
I would totally let Gary fuck my mom, even though history tells us he wouldn't call her later.

Letter four:
Of all the people who defended rape jokes, his were definitely the funniest.
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CTrees



Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Posts: 3772

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 7:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I'm pretty sure Gary isn't a lizard person. Unless that would help him get the job, in which case I'm pretty sure he is.
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“Yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation”
yields falsehood when preceded by its quotation.
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ShadowCell



Joined: 03 Aug 2008
Posts: 6185
Location: California

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 8:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i have seen Gary's birth certificate and can attest to its validity
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10749

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

If someone even _mentions_ Gary, I immediately want to start drinking
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10749

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This one time we were in Amsterdam and we had been drinking and Gary - who was off work - had also been drinking, and then these English guys shouted at us from across the road (through a window) asking if we wanted poppers but Gary didn't want any. Because he's responsible like that.
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Halen



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1883
Location: England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 9:59 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I once drove Gary home. He was really drunk. So was I, but he said he was really impressed.

Then I made bread.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10954
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:02 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Letter five:
I would drink anywhere Gary works. I would go out of my way to drink there. When I'm soused and no one else will serve me, I can always count on Gary.

Letter six:
Gary knows how to tap profitable new markets, like underage teenagers. My friend and his underage girlfriend love drinking with Gary.
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"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10749

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

This one time I saw a guy in the street that looked liked Gary but I wasn't sure it was him so I asked. "Who wants to know?" He said. Always cautious, that Gary.
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Mr Gary



Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 6316
Location: Some pub in England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 10:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Aw you guys, you shouldn't have! No, really, you shouldn't have.

I'm going to have to bleach the internets now.

Not really though. It's just that my cum really smells of bleach. It has a real bleachy smell to it.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10954
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:00 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Letter seven:
Gary's semen can cure diseases, because of all the meds he takes. At least that's what he told me when I asked about the smell...

Letter eight:
Any time I need a boob-related nickname for a girl I call Gary. He's always got one. Like my current girl, Hooty McBoob. He's a genius!
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"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. I’ll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman
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Mr Gary



Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 6316
Location: Some pub in England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
Letter seven:
Gary's semen can cure diseases, because of all the meds he takes. At least that's what he told me when I asked about the smell...


Hey, it's like homeopathy. If a bunch of it at one time makes you sick, perhaps you should just regularly take a lil' bit of it.

Also Dogen, I can't believe you're still dating Smelly McTitface. You're better than that, man. You're better than that.
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Snorri



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10878
Location: hiding the decline.

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:15 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Gary puts great value on discretion and never mentions the time he helped me bury that dead hooker.
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Mr Gary



Joined: 30 Apr 2009
Posts: 6316
Location: Some pub in England

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Hey man, no probs. If I started talking shit about that online, Marnix would know which one of his mattresses to throw out.

Safe, innit.
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Michael



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10749

PostPosted: Mon Jan 14, 2013 11:35 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

We will support you all throughout the job finding process! Every single step!
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Martian Kyo



Joined: 12 Jul 2006
Posts: 1534

PostPosted: Tue Jan 15, 2013 12:17 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mr Gary wrote:
Hey man, no probs. If I started talking shit about that online, Marnix would know which one of his mattresses to throw out.

Safe, innit.


yeah about that.... she's not IN the mattress anymore.

so yeaaaaah.
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