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2013-05-25: Hand And Penis
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 11274
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 9:41 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, someone else mentioned looking it up... I'd never heard of it.



Oh look, Mikewee is ranting again. Sky is blue.
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Flavius Maximus



Joined: 07 May 2011
Posts: 1100
Location: The Wrong side of the Reality Zone Sign

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 10:20 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Poetry. Nice
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Yinello



Joined: 09 May 2012
Posts: 3456

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 10:25 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

roses are red
violets are blue
wtf is this wall of text
i need more booze
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Leohan



Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 1679

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 10:33 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Is Mikewee doing parody, some weird joke or just ranting?

In any case, it's plain weird.
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Rune



Joined: 08 Oct 2011
Posts: 1815

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 11:05 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Maybe he's following the theme of what happens when you give a wanker a stage.

HEYO!
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fritterdonut



Joined: 24 Jul 2012
Posts: 1445
Location: Hedonism

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 12:17 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I thought I recognized Mikewee's speech, then I realized it was the Major's war speech, from the Hellsing Manga. Original text:

Quote:
My friends, it has often been said that I like war.

Friends, I like war.

No, friends, I love war!

I love holocausts. I love blitzkriegs. I love defensive lines. I love sieges, charges, I love mop-up operations, and retreats.

Wars across prairies, in streets, in trenches, in grasslands, in frozen tundras, through deserts, on the sea, in the air, I love every act of war that can occur upon this earth.

I love blasting the enemy to smithereens with artillery salvos that thunder across the lines of battle.

My heart leaps with joy whenever a soldier is tossed into the air and cut to pieces by well placed sniper rounds.

And there is nothing like a tank operator using a Tiger 88 to destroy enemy tanks. And the feeling that comes when a soldier runs screaming from his blazing tank only to be mowed down by heavy machine gun fire, is such an exquisite feeling.

Like when ranks of infantry brandish their bayonets rushing into the enemy line. It moves me deep within my heart to watch a fresh recruit stabbing over and over into the bloated chest of a long-dead enemy.

The sight of deserters being strung up from a street lamp is an irresistible pleasure. And there is nothing more arousing, than the sounds made by prisoners of war dropping like flies, screaming in agony as they're mowed down by ear piercing schmeissers!

When a band of pitiful resistance fighters makes their final stand with nothing but small arms, only to have their city smashed to atoms block by block by 4.8 ton bombshells, I'm in ecstasy.

I love it when my forces are ravaged by a Russian armored division. It's so sad to see towns and villages that were supposed to be defended at all costs, being laid to waste, their women and children being raped, and killed.

I love to be squashed under the heel of the British and American war machines. The humiliation, as my men crawl around like vermin, ducking the yark bombers flying overhead.

Gentlemen... All I ask for is war, a war so grand as to make Hell itself tremble. Gentlemen, I ask you as fellow brothers in arms, what is it you really want? Do you wish for further war as I do? Do you wish for a merciless, bloody war? A war whose fury is built with iron, and lightning, and fire? Do you ask for war to sweep in like a tempest, leaving not even ravens to scavenge, from this Earth!?

Very well. Then war is what you shall have. We are a clenched fist, ready to strike down all who oppose us, with our might. But... After enduring over half a century wallowing in the darkness, for us, a simple "ordinary" war will no longer be sufficient. We need a MASSIVE war! A war beyond any other that man's history has ever known!

We are but a single battalion... The remnants of a defeated army numbering less than a thousand strong. However, I believe that each of you old warriors is worth a thousand of their sickly soft children! We represent a force that could easily defeat an army of a million and one men! It is time for us to awake the ones who sent us screaming into oblivion, and who now lie sleeping. Let's drag them out of bed by the hair, and remind them of what we are! We will remind them of what it feels like to live in fear. We will remind them of the sound our jackboots make against their throats. We will remind them, that there are more things between Heaven and Hell than are dreamt of in their philosophy.

Our Kampfgruppe of one thousand battle-hardened warriors will burn this world down to ash. Yes, my friends! Soon, Europe's charred remains will illuminate the night sky! I have brought you all back just as I promised I would. Back to our favorite battlefield. Back to our beloved war!

At last, the sea lion has crossed the ocean and is heading up the hill! Attention soldiers of the Millennium battalion, this is a message from your commander:

Friends... let's bring them Hell.

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Last edited by fritterdonut on Sat May 25, 2013 12:23 pm; edited 1 time in total
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Yinello



Joined: 09 May 2012
Posts: 3456

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 12:20 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

It was long
did not read
yes i have
attention span of flea
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firezdog



Joined: 23 Mar 2010
Posts: 34
Location: Shan Dong, China

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 7:04 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would be amused (though certainly I shouldn't be!) to see an argument that masturbation is a form of rape.

...Actually I heard the Catholic Church tried to make that argument.

I'm sure you could pretty easily make an argument that it's connected to rape culture, though.

Embarassed Twisted Evil Razz Razz Razz Razz
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Ronald



Joined: 16 Sep 2007
Posts: 3456

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 7:28 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

jrdelirio wrote:
Huh... so Slick has taken the age-old advice, "write what you know".


Like the saying goes, he knows it like the palm of his hand.

Intimately.
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 4741
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 7:56 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I think Mikewee has to be judged like nature - not good, not bad, just there.
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Leohan



Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 1679

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:24 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

firezdog wrote:
I would be amused (though certainly I shouldn't be!) to see an argument that masturbation is a form of rape.

ACTUALLY...

I've been trying to find an excuse to bring up this topic and I haven't found a better one so let's cling to this.

I found myself in the particular situation of having to define what virginity is... Which was kinda easy, really. "Somebody that has never had sex." My happiness could not last long, though, as a far bigger question appeared:

What the fuck is sex?

I mean, the traditional definition of losing one's virginity is "A penis penetrated a vagina and your genitals were involved." But that has been antiquated for several decades now, since there's no questioning the fact that a gay man used to both 'giving' and 'receiving' is most certainly not a virgin.

And if we limit it to penetration only then women that limit themselves to lesbian relationships are all virgins... Unless strap-ons count, I guess. Speaking of, do strap-ons count? If they do count, it means that a third agent was involved, so it's almost like masturbation... Does assisted masturbation count, even?

A rule of direct genital contact (for at least one party) could be employed, and that even manages to include tribadism to the equation, but that's ridiculous at this point because of the popular usage of condoms... So if we accept that there can be layers that divide the agent, what about rubbing through clothes?


...Finally I realized that, as per usual, I was being far too pragmatic and dealing with absolutes, which perhaps is not the way to go here. So in need of more open-minded people, this forum immediately came to my mind.

Can anyone tell me what the limits of virginity are? And what sex is, for that matter?

Sorry for attempting to derail this thread for my own interests. Also thank you in advance if you answer... And if you don't, yeah, I don't blame you. This is a weird topic and I brought it out of nowhere.
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 20 Jul 2009
Posts: 5344
Location: No.

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Wow, you just brushed upon a whole jar of idiocy that our society has normalized, and it was all triggered by the (completely fair) questioning of a mostly useless concept. Good job.

Here, have a cookie.




My answer is that the safest thing is to leave the definition of those terms up to the participants.
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Last edited by Heretical Rants on Sun May 26, 2013 12:08 am; edited 2 times in total
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 11274
Location: PDX

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:34 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Oral sex (fellatio or cunnilingus) is sex. Vaginal sex is sex. Anal sex is sex. Other things may be sex, but it doesn't really seem important...

Finally, English made something easier!
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Heretical Rants



Joined: 20 Jul 2009
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PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Your list is incomplete.
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Leohan



Joined: 26 Mar 2007
Posts: 1679

PostPosted: Sat May 25, 2013 8:39 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Heretical Rants wrote:
Wow, you just brushed upon a whole jar of idiocy that our society has normalized, and it was all triggered by the (completely fair) questioning a mostly useless concept. Good job.

Here, have a cookie.




My answer is that the safest thing is to leave the definition of those terms up to the participants.

I do like that concept.

Also I dunno if you were being sarcastic or not. Sorry Sad
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