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Marriage?
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How do you feel about getting married? (Not to me, just in general)
I am a happy, happy married person.
15%
 15%  [ 12 ]
I am an unhappy married person.
2%
 2%  [ 2 ]
I would definitely like to get married someday to the right person.
34%
 34%  [ 26 ]
I could be married, but I can also see myself just living with someone or dating too.
30%
 30%  [ 23 ]
I don't really want to be married. Someone would have to be seriously tricky to get me to marry them.
11%
 11%  [ 9 ]
The "M" word! *FLEE*
5%
 5%  [ 4 ]
Total Votes : 76

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Yorick



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 12101
Location: In the undersnow

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

"I could be married, but I can also see myself just living with someone or dating too."

Marriage is a social construct. I personally feel it's outlived its usefulness. People don't take the spouse's name anymore, divorces are exceedingly common, whole classes of people aren't allowed to be married, many are choosing to raise their children themselves without a spouse. I think "civil unions" would be of more use.
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Marik



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 1234

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 1:24 pm    Post subject: and fairies and leper-cauns. Reply with quote

Marriage is so fucking romantic! It's beautiful with rainbows and moonbeams and shit. I'm serious.

Of course, I think this way because any possible marriage situation for me essentially represents having found someone who's perfect as a life partner, someone who can change and better you. Without that component, it doesn't exist as an option.
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2891

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 2:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yorick wrote:


Marriage is a social construct. I personally feel it's outlived its usefulness. People don't take the spouse's name anymore, divorces are exceedingly common, whole classes of people aren't allowed to be married, many are choosing to raise their children themselves without a spouse. I think "civil unions" would be of more use.


.... okay, none of that actually supports your claim that it's "outlived its usefulness." of -course- marriage is a social construct. so are money, language, and the government. that doesn't mean that any of them are invalid.
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bun bun
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

So my nickname here is appropriate in all sorts o' interesting ways. As in, I have a tendency to be skittish. For example:

*fightfightfightfight*
*scared I've messed up/don't want to deal with cleanup/feel uncared for*
*feel need to flee*

If I were to get married, I'd have to be in a relationship where, for whatever reason, that feeling of OMYGAWDIT'SHEADEDINTOTHETOLIETFLEE would never happen.
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10290
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 4:48 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

I just remembered the best advice I've ever heard. I was bitching to my friend Tim one time about how any girl I was ever interested in always seemed to have a lot of baggage. He said "Omar, everyone has baggage, so the answer is finding someone who's baggage compliments your own; in other words you both need to have matching luggage."
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bun bun
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:10 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Darqcyde wrote:
I just remembered the best advice I've ever heard. I was bitching to my friend Tim one time about how any girl I was ever interested in always seemed to have a lot of baggage. He said "Omar, everyone has baggage, so the answer is finding someone who's baggage compliments your own; in other words you both need to have matching luggage."


<3

the solution to my relationship problems.

hoorah for the internet! someone's dad i've never met can cure my romantic life! wheeeeheehee! woooohoo!
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2891

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 5:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Darqcyde wrote:
I just remembered the best advice I've ever heard. I was bitching to my friend Tim one time about how any girl I was ever interested in always seemed to have a lot of baggage. He said "Omar, everyone has baggage, so the answer is finding someone who's baggage compliments your own; in other words you both need to have matching luggage."


i bought a card once that said "i may have emotional baggage, but at least it's really cute and matches."

=)
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Xilonen



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 465
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 6:39 pm    Post subject: Re: and fairies and leper-cauns. Reply with quote

Marik wrote:
Of course, I think this way because any possible marriage situation for me essentially represents having found someone who's perfect as a life partner, someone who can change and better you. Without that component, it doesn't exist as an option.


i agree. i don't want to end up contributing to the rising divorce rates and fully agree that people should really really examine themselves and their relationship before ever deciding to get married. it's not just for fun and it's not "the thing to do" and if there are any valid reservations it just shouldn't happen until the issue is resolved.

unlike in generations past, marriage isn't just a mutually beneficial union for the families of those involved, so the groom's family gets a dowry or the woman's family gains status. now that marriages aren't necessarilly expected or arranged people seem all too willing to jump into something believing they're in love forever and (thanks to the ability to divorce) don't seem to look at marriage as a forever kinda deal.

ANYWAY, as cool as i am for marriage being about love and flowers and all, and i'd much rather it be that way than to have my family see me as a bargaining chip with richer, more influential families with single sons, i also think that means it's a much bigger decision that should be made with a lot more care.
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crossbow
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PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 6:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i figure i should marry a smoker, so that their projected lifespan isn't so much longer than mine Razz
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2891

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:14 pm    Post subject: Re: and fairies and leper-cauns. Reply with quote

Xilonen wrote:

unlike in generations past, marriage isn't just a mutually beneficial union for the families of those involved, so the groom's family gets a dowry


depends on your family... my cousin's family paid a dowry & they live in the us. i think my parents might do that too.
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andrew



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
Posts: 4495
Location: the raging sea

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Pending meeting her, I will marry.
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Seraphine



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 496
Location: In flux

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

*sigh* Marriage.... *sulks*
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Mini J



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1164
Location: Toronto, ON

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:25 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Mawwiage. Mawwiage is what bwings us togethaw today.

I will only get married as long as I know she's my twue wove. Without that, wife is meaningwess.
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Seraphine



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 496
Location: In flux

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Good reference, 5 points.
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Xilonen



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 465
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2006 7:33 pm    Post subject: Re: and fairies and leper-cauns. Reply with quote

sporko wrote:
Xilonen wrote:

unlike in generations past, marriage isn't just a mutually beneficial union for the families of those involved, so the groom's family gets a dowry


depends on your family... my cousin's family paid a dowry & they live in the us. i think my parents might do that too.


generally.. generally.

actually, a girl in my dorm was killed last year for backing out of an arranged marriage. her 'fiance' stabbed her to death and then jumped off a freeway overpass in eastern washington. =\
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