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Uwe Boll, FTW!
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Dr. Awkward



Joined: 05 Aug 2006
Posts: 74

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 2:53 pm    Post subject: Uwe Boll, FTW! Reply with quote

http://www.kotaku.com/gaming/clips/clips-uwe-boll-pushing-lowtaxs-face-in-202896.php

Quote:
And here's the video of Uwe Boll beating up Richard 'Lowtax' Kyanka. Lowtax should have just used his 'wit' and started making Jeff K. jokes, which judging from Something Awful's forum community has the direct effect on the brain of a massive, debilitating concussion. Uwe would have been down for the count by the first hysterical "Number One instead of an Exclamation Point" joke.

To be fair to Lowtax, though: Uwe is a complete cunt. He told everyone that it was this fun PR stunt, then almost put one guy in the hospital. He refused to fight someone with boxing training. He promised training to all the fighters, who never got it. He changed his mind moments before the fight and claimed he was going to try to win by 'knockout'. Check out Lowtax's comments on the fight after the jump. Florian Eckhardt

' Okay I am done drinking, and I'd like to post some more info before I forget it:

1) There was an actual real critic who sparred with Uwe Boll a few nights ago, who was a real amateur boxer. Uwe refused to fight the guy in the ring; obviously he only wanted people with no boxing experience.

Anyway, when Uwe was sparring with the dude, the critic / amateur had to quit sparring because Uwe "was taking it too seriously" and really trying to beat the shit out of the guy. So he just said fuck it and left.

2) Apparently when we were in another room, Uwe declared he was going to beat the crap out of all of us and try to "win by knockout." You know, like kinda the OPPOSITE of "this is all a PR stunt we will have fun my movies don't suck" that he was saying before.

3) Like I mentioned before, Uwe said we would get training, boxing equipment, and lessons beforehand. None of us received any of this, which didn't quite worry us at the time since he kept saying it was just a PR stunt and he wasn't really going to box for real for serious blah blah blah. NEVER trust a German. Three of the guys didn't even have cups to protect their balls; the only reason I had a cup was because my wife bought me one.

4) The dude after me was throwing up and had an EMT by his side for about an hour. He eventually had to have an oxygen mask on. The dude after him was all bloodied up and looked like crap. They too made the mistake of believing Uwe Boll when he said it was just a PR thing, since neither really trained.

Regardless, I don't regret anything and think it was a real learning experience. For example, I learned Uwe Boll is a lying dickhead who makes shitbag films, and he deserves all the shit he gets from folks on the Internet. I'll write an update about all this when I get back, but I'm trying to put the most major things here so I do not forget them.

OH and the high point of the day was when I met DAVID FUCKING CROSS and hugged him and gave him a "Doom House" DVD. That was fucking awesome and made the whole Uwe Boll fiasco worth it.'


This man never ceases to astound me with his insanity.
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CTrees



Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Posts: 3772

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:12 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, that's floating around everywhere now. The videos shows just how intentionally uneven Uwe made the matches. I've no doubt that this was his intention all along, to simply set up the worse beatings he could. Incredible asshole, Uwe.

I thought the clips were funny until I read how he mislead the critics. I mean, they were assholes in large part, too, but the deceptive nature of it makes it a lot less fun to watch.
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kame



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
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Location: Alba Nuadh

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 3:40 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Beating the snot out of geeks does not make you a better film maker. This really is a stupid idea/publicity stunt.
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WheelsOfConfusion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 12384
Location: Unknown Kaddath

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:44 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Isn't there something about breach of contract being illegal?
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CTrees



Joined: 21 Jul 2006
Posts: 3772

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 7:52 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

He's a German and this was in Canada. Thus, no.

Don't question it!
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
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Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Tue Sep 26, 2006 10:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

None of this however changes the fact that Uwe himself needs a good, sound beating.
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BoySetsFire



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: Rex Kwan Doe enthusiast

PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 2:47 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

the dumbass critics that got into the ring with the whackjob are at least %50 percent, if not more, responsible for the beatings they took.

they honestly believed that Uwe Boll would keep his word, especially after all the shit they've been saying about the guy for years? i mean, seriously? i say, you willingly get into a ring with a nutjob, especially one that you've beeb verbally crapping on, then you deserve whatever he dishes out.
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The Victim Here



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:14 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

For his next stunt, I want to see Uwe fight Mike Tyson.
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Valp



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 4:57 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Nah I'd rather see him try to take on one of those scrawny old masters of Muay Thai that Martial Arts magazines writes stories about.

Because it's funnier to see a 50y.o thai knock him out with a jumping knee to the face then have Mikey just maul him with one punch
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Willem



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:08 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Just don't tell the truth when they ask if you've had any boxing/fighting experience.

- Do you practice some form of martial art?

- No *strokes beard* I do not.

- All right. Get ready to fight.
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CTrees



Joined: 21 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 5:11 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Well, if it was set up as another boxing match, it'd technically be a loss by disqualification, but it would so be worth it (not to mention not being any more deceptive than what Uwe himself pulled, thus fairly justified).
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CTrees



Joined: 21 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 27, 2006 6:36 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Lowtax speaks out

It's just bashing Uwe's movies, though. Presumably part two will have a rant about the fight. It's not exactly funny, per se, instead just standing as a steaming pile of anti-Boll hatred (totally understandable, but equally overdone).
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Amilam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Fri Sep 29, 2006 8:00 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I would agree that Bowe is a pretty pathetic human being (as oppossed to just being a pathetic director), but yes those critics were pretty foolish to take him at his word. When he refused to fight the actually trained critic they should have all walked out.
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Teh Digital Dragon



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 1:48 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

CTrees wrote:
Lowtax speaks out

It's just bashing Uwe's movies, though. Presumably part two will have a rant about the fight. It's not exactly funny, per se, instead just standing as a steaming pile of anti-Boll hatred (totally understandable, but equally overdone).

I had the same thought when I read it, hopefully in his second update he'll have slightly more of a sense of humour about getting the shit kicked out of him.
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The Bomb Dick



Joined: 01 Sep 2006
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PostPosted: Sun Oct 01, 2006 2:30 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I don't know, Lowtax says a lot of bad about Boll, but doesn't say much good about himself either. I would guess he's probably embarresed by the whole thing. And Uwe Boll deserves everything people are saying about him. How he could believe any of this reflects well on him makes me wonder if Uwe really is out of his mind.
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