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Life's Mixed Bag
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Felgraf



Joined: 10 Jul 2012
Posts: 730

PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:37 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

That is perhaps one of the most depressing superpowers ever.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10793
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 3:51 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Yeah, it's not super fun to think you're just going to hear about how they argue over chores and then twenty minutes later you're really hearing about how her cousin raped her when she was 9. It's dark.

But it also needs to be excised and reprocessed (with a professional) to get over the lingering emotional scars, so it's not exactly a bad thing, if I get to be the person who points them in a positive direction (toward a professional, which I am not yet). It's just heavy.
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Felgraf



Joined: 10 Jul 2012
Posts: 730

PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2013 4:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
Yeah, it's not super fun to think you're just going to hear about how they argue over chores and then twenty minutes later you're really hearing about how her cousin raped her when she was 9. It's dark.

But it also needs to be excised and reprocessed (with a professional) to get over the lingering emotional scars, so it's not exactly a bad thing, if I get to be the person who points them in a positive direction (toward a professional, which I am not yet). It's just heavy.


Oh, I agree, and it definately needs to be excised/told to another person so they don't have to carry that pain around, all bottled up. And it is good that you can get people to open up!

(And you're AWESOME for doing this sort of thing, by the way.)
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"No, but evil is still being --Is having reason-- Being reasonable! Mousie understands? Is always being reason. Is punishing world for not being... Like in head. Is always reason. World should be different, is reason."
-Ed, from Digger
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10227
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 12:03 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
So I have a magic power. If you talk to me about your relationships for long enough, you will eventually tell me all about any molestations you may have experienced as a child. It's happened three times this month.


I have a family friend who is a human lie detector. As in, she is trained to do so by the NSA. The shit she gets people to tell her is staggering.

It's usually the opposite of what people are telling you though.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10793
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 3:30 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Does she tell you she's a human lie detector? Because a) that sounds awesome, and b) my understanding is research hasn't really supported that you can train people to do that.

I'd like to meet her and put her through lots of rigorous tests, is what I'm saying. I would buy her a beer, even (for the trouble of flying to Portland so I can experiment on her and everything).
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DeD CHiKn



Joined: 04 Aug 2006
Posts: 10227
Location: Baltimore, Maryla*gunshot*

PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2013 4:09 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

She's never said it flat out, I think she's far too humble.

But basically the gist is she talks to you, judges your tics, asks you questions, judges your tics, etc.
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 17275
Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:24 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeD CHiKn wrote:
She's never said it flat out, I think she's far too humble.

But basically the gist is she talks to you, judges your tics, asks you questions, judges your tics, etc.


of course, now that you know she's a human lie detector, you must be acquiring an interesting selection of tics....
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Samsally



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:54 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I always wonder what people that can do that would think of me, then I remember I'm way too boring to need to lie about much, anyway. Like, even boring every day stuff, the worst I do is pretend to like people I don't and that's kind of expected to function in a work environment.

Basically it takes absolutely no skill at all to get me to talk about shit and it's something that's bitten me in the ass enough times I may as well own it at this point.
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
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Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:56 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
So I have a magic power. If you talk to me about your relationships for long enough, you will eventually tell me all about any molestations you may have experienced as a child. It's happened three times this month.

Yeah, this is definitely mixed bag. It's sounds horrible, but after a certain point you start to be able to pick these people out long before they actually tell you about their being molested. I've found them opening up to you usually involves lots of listening and not judging, coupled with a readiness to speak frankly and honestly about your own self. When I was in high school, I thought it was because I hung out with the "freakier end" of the the social spectrum (the punk rockers, ravers, druggies, Marilyn Manson wannabes, etc.), but after first going to college, I learned that was not true at all; they came from all walks of life and backgrounds. It's even happened more recently.

And it always amazes me when they say "You know, I've never really talked about this with anyone" or "I've only ever told a few people a bout this" or "I don't know why, but I feel ok telling you this", even when I've known them for only a short while.

There was a good stretch of time, years ago, when I pretty much became a hermit because I kept having this same scenario play itself out over and over again. It really weirded me out.
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Dogen



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 10793
Location: Bellingham, WA

PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 12:59 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

DeD CHiKn wrote:
She's never said it flat out, I think she's far too humble.

But basically the gist is she talks to you, judges your tics, asks you questions, judges your tics, etc.

Yeah, that sounds like FACS, the system the TV show "Lie to Me" was based on. Developed by Paul Ekman, it's been both interesting and controversial. The largest use of training people to use the system - the TSA's SPOT program - was criticized in a report as being no more accurate than flipping a coin to guess whether a person was lying.

It's still a fascinating science, I'm just on the fence about everything that's really cool until there's more/better data. Maybe the NSA does a better job of training people than the TSA does... that certainly wouldn't surprise me.

Send your friend my way!
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"Worse comes to worst, my people come first, but my tribe lives on every country on earth. Iíll do anything to protect them from hurt, the human race is what I serve." - Baba Brinkman
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Darqcyde



Joined: 11 Jul 2006
Posts: 10558
Location: A false vacuum abiding in ignorance.

PostPosted: Wed Sep 04, 2013 4:13 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

Dogen wrote:
DeD CHiKn wrote:
She's never said it flat out, I think she's far too humble.

But basically the gist is she talks to you, judges your tics, asks you questions, judges your tics, etc.

Yeah, that sounds like FACS, the system the TV show "Lie to Me" was based on. Developed by Paul Ekman, it's been both interesting and controversial. The largest use of training people to use the system - the TSA's SPOT program - was criticized in a report as being no more accurate than flipping a coin to guess whether a person was lying.

It's still a fascinating science, I'm just on the fence about everything that's really cool until there's more/better data. Maybe the NSA does a better job of training people than the TSA does... that certainly wouldn't surprise me.

Send your friend my way!

Unless, of course, your father was the world champion of Sicilian liars Wink
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stripeypants



Joined: 24 Feb 2013
Posts: 3429
Location: Land of the Grumpuses

PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 5:04 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

I get excited about all the technological innovations that will save lives, especially cancer research. It's good - but remembering all the specific people I know who won't be able to benefit is really something. Numbing. Same for other scientific breakthroughs in progress; they are really great and will help so many people - but so many people have to miss out on the benefits.
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2892

PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:21 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just helped a friend [on whom there exists a mutual crush going on] get things straightened out with the commissioner of revenue/DMV down here (he's currently away). it felt nice to be able to help out, but then my roomie said "you are the nicest non-girlfriend ever" and um i don't know why but that kind of made me feel like i was being a sucker. :/

sigh. so..yay, but maybe i'm being a sucker. i ended up missing class for it but it was on a subject i've dealt with for 5 years now and with a prof i get frustrated with, so honestly it's probably better that i didn't go.

idk
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sporko



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 2892

PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 8:22 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

just helped a friend [on whom there exists a mutual crush going on] get things straightened out with the commissioner of revenue/DMV down here (he's currently away). it felt nice to be able to help out, but then my roomie said "you are the nicest non-girlfriend ever" and um i don't know why but that kind of made me feel like i was being a sucker. :/

sigh. so..yay, but maybe i'm being a sucker. i ended up missing class for it but it was on a subject i've dealt with for 5 years now and with a prof i get frustrated with, so honestly it's probably better that i didn't go.

idk
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mouse



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
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Location: under the bed

PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2013 9:32 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

i don't think you are a sucker to help out a friend, even if he isn't a bona-fide boyfriend. it doesn't sound like it really cost you anything, and it made you feel good (and helped your friend). appreciate the good feelings all around, and don't worry about the rest.

unless he starts borrowing money. and not paying it back. then you can feel like a sucker.
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