Sinfest

Secret · Joined: 10 Aug 2006 Posts: 5429

1. Pasta is delicious and fun to play with.

2. Only the FSM could create such a wonderful food.

4. ANYONE WHO DISAGREES WITH ME IS UTTERLY WRONG AND I HOPE THEY SEE THE LIGHT OR ELSE THEY WILL STAND HUMBLED BEFORE THE BEER VOLCANO.
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WheelsOfConfusion · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 10742 Location: Unknown Kaddath

If Pastafarianism wasn't true, that means no beer volcanoes and strippers in the afterlife. Thus I appeal based on this consequence of belief.

Mizike · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 5084 Location: Iowa City

FSMism can also account for the THEORY of gravity, something that Christians and Newtonites can't.

For those of you who don't know, the FSM holds us down, lovingly with his noodles, which he does not let us see.
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Scire aliquid laus est, pudor est non discere velle
"It is laudable to know something, it is disgraceful to not want to learn"
~Seneca

Sam · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 8567

Non-pastafarians cannot be expected to understand flying spaghetti monsterism, and are thus unqualified to mount disagreement with His noodly existence.

Major Tom · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 7561

there is a common love for carbs among men of all societies, therefore pasta must exist outside of man, else how could he enjoy eating it?
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Does anyone really believe that politicians and bureaucrats in Washington can successfully steer a multi-national corporation to economic viability?

John Boehner

rm · Joined: 25 Jul 2006 Posts: 4073

does the fsm include rice noodles?
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DesolationRow · Joined: 10 Oct 2006 Posts: 232 Location: Pennsylvania

A thread about the FSM could not be made if he was not real, therefore, he exists. ALL HAIL HIS NOODLY APPENDAGE!
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Twister87 · Guest

Especially one as supportive as this. FSM rocks my socks.

Flion · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 1:53 am Post subject:

Omigawd! You people have completely opened my eyes. How could I have not seen the truth before? ... I'd like some of the same drugs you're on, please. Wink

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jsimpleton · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 2:01 am Post subject:

beer volcano sounds yummy
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"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in."--homer simpson

jsimpleton · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 2:03 am Post subject:

what happen to #3?
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"I saw weird stuff in that place last night. Weird, strange, sick, twisted, eerie, godless, evil stuff! And I want in."--homer simpson

Major Tom · Joined: 09 Jul 2006 Posts: 7561

5. we don't talk about what happened to #3
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Does anyone really believe that politicians and bureaucrats in Washington can successfully steer a multi-national corporation to economic viability?

John Boehner

jeep · Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 501

Yarrrrrr!!!!

I're be bringin' ta truth, me matey's! Ye watch'in this, y'or ye be walkin tha plank! Bask 'n His noodley goodness, ya saltey sea dogs.

http://fsmexploits.ytmnd.com/

jeep · Joined: 11 Jul 2006 Posts: 501

Yarrrrrrrr!!!!

More plunder and booty be unto you all!!!!

http://www.fsmvaxjo.se/mp3/wherepirates.mp3

The Flying Spaghetti Monster's Eight I-Really-Rather-You-Didn'ts (otherwise known as "Commandments" or erroneously "Condiments")

1. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Act Like a Sanctimonious Holier-Than-Thou Ass When Describing My Noodly Goodness. If Some People Don't Believe In Me, That's Okay. Really, I'm Not That Vain. Besides, This Isn't About Them So Don't Change The Subject.

2. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Use My Existence As A Means To Oppress, Subjugate, Punish, Eviscerate, And/Or, You Know, Be Mean To Others. I Don't Require Sacrifices, And Purity Is For Drinking Water, Not People.

3. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Judge People For The Way They Look, Or How They Dress, Or The Way They Talk, Or, Well, Just Play Nice, Okay? Oh, And Get This In Your Thick Heads: Woman = Person. Man = Person. Samey - Samey. One Is Not Better Than The Other, Unless We're Talking About Fashion And I'm Sorry, But I Gave That To Women And Some Guys Who Know The Difference Between Teal and Fuchsia.

4. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Indulge In Conduct That Offends Yourself, Or Your Willing, Consenting Partner Of Legal Age AND Mental Maturity. As For Anyone Who Might Object, I Think The Expression Is Go Fuck Yourself, Unless They Find That Offensive In Which Case They Can Turn Off the TV For Once And Go For A Walk For A Change.

5. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Challenge The Bigoted, Misogynist, Hateful Ideas Of Others On An Empty Stomach. Eat, Then Go After The Bastard

6. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Build Multimillion-Dollar Churches / Temples / Mosques / Shrines To My Noodly Goodness When The Money Could Be Better Spent (Take Your Pick):
Ending Poverty
Curing Diseases
Living In Peace, Loving With Passion, And Lowering The Cost Of Cable.

I Might be a Complex-Carbohydrate Omniscient Being, But I Enjoy The Simple Things In Life. I Ought To Know. I AM the Creator.

7. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Go Around Telling People I Talk To You. You're Not That Interesting. Get Over Yourself. And I Told You To Love Your Fellow Man, Can't You Take A Hint?

8. I'd Really Rather You Didn't Do Unto Others As You Would Have Them Do Unto You If You Are Into, Um, Stuff That Uses A Lot of Leather/Lubricant/Las Vegas. If the Other Person Is Into It, However (Pursuant To #4), Then Have At It, Take Pictures, And For The Love Of Mike, Wear a CONDOM! Honestly, It's A Piece of Rubber. If I Didn't Want It To Feel Good When You Did It I Would Have Added Spikes, Or Something.

MellowFish · Posted: Mon Oct 16, 2006 4:53 am Post subject:

Imitation is the truest form of flattery. I am touched. Realy. And I ate your god about an hour before reading this thread. So there.
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Those who profess to favor freedom, and yet depreciate agitation, are men who want crops without plowing up the ground. -- Frederick Douglass