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Flion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 589
Location: Don't look up! (Damn pigeons...)

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:19 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, true story from my teenage years: I worked as a manager for a convenience store, which meant I often covered shifts. We had one of those refrigerated counters where ice-cream was displayed in front of the counter to tempt shoppers as they checked out. One day a hot blonde from my school walked in and was standing in the short line checking out. She was idly doodling in the fog on the counter doors and I was sneaking looks while dealing with customers. She happened to look up just as I looked at her, our eyes met and, to cover the awkwardness I guess, she said, "Boy, these coolers are really sweating." I was horrified to hear myself reply, "If you were leaning on me like that, I'd be sweating too." The other customers fell out, and I quickly finished checking people out while trying to think of a painless way to die. Aftermath: she came back and we dated for a few weeks, but quickly lost interest (ahhh, teenage attention span...). I couldn't have planned that and I'd never have had the nerve to say it if I wasn't busy and distracted. Laughing
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crossbow
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PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 2:42 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

was your father a thief?

...becase i saw him stealing candy from k-mart.

flion's was cute. relevence is key.
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Spanky



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 842
Location: Rockville, MD

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Was your father a terrorist?
Because you are DA BOMB!
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MsFrisby



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3966
Location: a quiet little corner of crazy

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 4:55 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Literary/Library pickup lines:

Pardon me, could you tell me what kind of card I need to check YOU out?

You must have been burning books cuz you look HOT!

Libraries should allow food in the building because right now I could just eat you up.

I know what I need to access the internet, but what do I need to access your heart? (I can't even type this one without laughing.)

What book would you recommend to help me sweep you off your feet?

Do you have any overdue library books? Because you have the word "Fine" written all over.

Hi, I'm writing a term paper on the finer things in life. Can I interview you?

I've put my heart on Reserve for you.

I'm checking you out, can I get your call number?

You're studying Life Sciences? Want to find out where babies come from?

I'd catalog you under "Desirable!"

Check out my "Table of Contents" and see if there's anything you like.
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Valp



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 1513
Location: In a big swedish social experiment

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 5:05 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Let's go home to me, I can guarantee* you a screaming orgasm.

*at least if you have vodka, kahlua and baileys at home
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Amilam



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 922

PostPosted: Mon Nov 06, 2006 6:18 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Baby, don't you ever go outside.

Why?

Just promise me baby that you'll stay indoors where it's safe.

Why is that?

"Cause it might rain honey and sugar melts in the rain.


I saw a homeless guy who called himself "Rebel aka street Jesus" using that one.
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PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:07 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

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recycled-bastard



Joined: 29 Oct 2006
Posts: 316
Location: Loserville, USA

PostPosted: Fri Nov 10, 2006 7:13 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Most offensive pickup lines:


-Wanna go halves on a bastard?

-Meet me in the toilet in 5 minutes. You get the condom and I'll get you a breath mint.

-Baby, I'd suck your daddy's dick just to get some of where that came from.


(the last one always kinda creeped me out).
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San Padrone



Joined: 10 Jul 2006
Posts: 112
Location: Floriduh

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 6:27 pm    Post subject: Reply with quote

Ok, so who actually uses these lines?
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Snorri



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 10878
Location: hiding the decline.

PostPosted: Mon Nov 13, 2006 10:23 pm    Post subject: Yes, ofcourse, that is the reason, I'm not scared... Reply with quote

I would.


But I'm not single at the moment.
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Dennis J. Squidbunny



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 3750
Location: AUSTRALIA YOU FAKIR

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 2:18 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

'do you have a disability' has just been passed, my friend Ely copped an even worse one:

"You have really beautiful eyes... can I touch them?"

oh Phoenix, you get all the best creeper creepersons.
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WheelsOfConfusion



Joined: 09 Jul 2006
Posts: 12255
Location: Unknown Kaddath

PostPosted: Tue Nov 14, 2006 3:28 am    Post subject: Reply with quote

"Hi, wanna help me and my friend settle a bed?"
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